Date Report - Do Your Best, Forget the Rest

[BeDJ]

First date with a 5'11" cute redhead. We bar hopped and kissed closed her during the second venue. We get close and she offers me a ride home. Stops in front of my house and says that she's afraid of getting too carried away. I asked her what she meant, and she responded 'like making out.' I respond, "Well, just don't rip off my shirt." Interest is high and wants me to hang out with her the next day. I get a text from my friend that he was at the bar and was too drunk to drive home. I tell her to drop me off where he was so I can take care of him. She offers to give him a ride home as well. It's fine, I said. She drops me off in front and pulls me in to kiss me again.

I text her the next evening, "still up for tonight?" No response.

I don't plan on contacting her again. It goes to show that even when you do everything right, you aren't going to get them all. Do your best, forget the rest.

 

[Don-Kong]

If the interest was really high and were on good terms what made the decision to text instead of call?

Texting just begs to be flaked. They can miss it, forget to reply, be in the middle of something. The text should be a stepping stone to the call. Of course phone game and getting them there is a whole other thing.

Call her, real chilled, least this way you can turn it around or know for sure. I've vowed to myself to always call instead of text from now on. Texting after the night out has ended if you don't pull is ok, but day after, gotta be a call. That's my view.

 

[BeDJ]

Thanks for the input Don-Kong, I understand where you are coming from. In my opinion and experience, calling her would not have made much of a difference.

The end result is that you aren't going to attract them all. Analyzing the situation and drawing conclusions are obsolete.

 

[Trump]

First date with a 5'11" cute redhead. We bar hopped and kissed closed her during the second venue. We get close and she offers me a ride home. Stops in front of my house and says that she's afraid of getting too carried away. I asked her what she meant, and she responded 'like making out.' I respond, "Well, just don't rip off my shirt." Interest is high and wants me to hang out with her the next day. I get a text from my friend that he was at the bar and was too drunk to drive home. I tell her to drop me off where he was so I can take care of him. She offers to give him a ride home as well. It's fine, I said. She drops me off in front and pulls me in to kiss me again.

I text her the next evening, "still up for tonight?" No response.

I don't plan on contacting her again. It goes to show that even when you do everything right, you aren't going to get them all. Do your best, forget the rest.

Bro it seems like you have way more experience than me, but you should know girls are fickle. Most girls, especially bar girls, are hot and horny at that moment. Waiting one hour to do something is like a year it hot girl time, let alone one day.

101 things could have happened between the time she dropped you off and the next night. Though not always possible, have to strike when the iron is hot!

 

[BeDJ]

Bro it seems like you have way more experience than me, but you should know girls are fickle. Most girls, especially bar girls, are hot and horny at that moment. Waiting one hour to do something is like a year it hot girl time, let alone one day.

101 things could have happened between the time she dropped you off and the next night. Though not always possible, have to strike when the iron is hot!

I don't think I have more experience than you. I would like some outside perspective on this thread. It's great we can both agree that girls are fickle.

She is not necessarily a bar girl because she hasn't been to one in months. Definitely 101 things can happen during our date and the next day. Knowing that I tried to strike when the iron was hot when she drove me back to my place. There was some resistance, I'm sure I didn't handle it perfectly. I guess this date report can help other understand that no matter how well you think the date went, there is always that possibility that you will never see her again.

 

[VikingKing]

I don't think I have more experience than you. I would like some outside perspective on this thread. It's great we can both agree that girls are fickle.

She is not necessarily a bar girl because she hasn't been to one in months. Definitely 101 things can happen during our date and the next day. Knowing that I tried to strike when the iron was hot when she drove me back to my place. There was some resistance, I'm sure I didn't handle it perfectly. I guess this date report can help other understand that no matter how well you think the date went, there is always that possibility that you will never see her again.

20 bucks says she wil text or call you back.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The main mistake you made was trying to make plans with her the next day. Too much too soon, and she hasn't earned the right to have that much access to you. Even if she wanted to see you, you should have made her wait a few days.

The second mistake you made was keeping your phone on and actually reading your messages during the date. You had a girl wanting to make out with you and LEFT her to rescue a friend... but you wouldn't have had to do that had you not had your phone on in the first place. I can only speculate since I can't read her mind, but she probably didn't like that you did that. And THEN, she offered to give your friend a ride, but most likely it was so that she could have you to herself after you dropped him off... and you turned her down?? No wonder she may not be responding...

 

[BeDJ]

The main mistake you made was trying to make plans with her the next day. Too much too soon, and she hasn't earned the right to have that much access to you. Even if she wanted to see you, you should have made her wait a few days.

The second mistake you made was keeping your phone on and actually reading your messages during the date. You had a girl wanting to make out with you and LEFT her to rescue a friend... but you wouldn't have had to do that had you not had your phone on in the first place. I can only speculate since I can't read her mind, but she probably didn't like that you did that. And THEN, she offered to give your friend a ride, but most likely it was so that she could have you to herself after you dropped him off... and you turned her down?? No wonder she may not be responding...

Are. You. Fvcking. Serious?

Harry,

Not everything is absolute. My main mistake was not trying to make plans with her. My other mistake wasn't answering text messages. I'm sorry, but your advice is generic for this situation.

 

[VladPatton]

I would have to agree. I support the Do Your Best Theory. The attention span of girls these days is that of a goldfish. It is difficult to pinpoint what she didn't like, what she's thinking, and who got into the picture in the next few hours. Maybe she'll hit you up again, who knows. The question is how many of these dates with such girls can one go through?

 

[El Payaso]

Quite honestly, you should have fvcked her in the car right there and then. I made this same mistake when I was still an ignorant noob. You're definitely not a newbie so you should have known to go all the way with her right there and then. At the very least, you could have moved it back to your place or hers.

I do realize that hindsight is 20/20 though.

 

[BeDJ]

Quite honestly, you should have fvcked her in the car right there and then. I made this same mistake when I was still an ignorant noob. You're definitely not a newbie so you should have known to go all the way with her right there and then. At the very least, you could have moved it back to your place or hers.

I do realize that hindsight is 20/20 though.

No.

 

[Stagger Lee]

True, no matter how well a date seems to go or what you do, you can't win them all. And if you are fing a high percentage of dates, it probably means you're dating girls well under your league and could get better girls, kind of like higher quality, less quantity.

 

[Mr Wright]

First date with a 5'11" cute redhead. We bar hopped and kissed closed her during the second venue. We get close and she offers me a ride home. Stops in front of my house and says that she's afraid of getting too carried away. I asked her what she meant, and she responded 'like making out.' I respond, "Well, just don't rip off my shirt." Interest is high and wants me to hang out with her the next day. I get a text from my friend that he was at the bar and was too drunk to drive home. I tell her to drop me off where he was so I can take care of him. She offers to give him a ride home as well. It's fine, I said. She drops me off in front and pulls me in to kiss me again.

I guess the only reason why she would have acted like that because she was horny and probably would have let you f*ck her if the situation was right. I find that if a girl has serious reservations about coming inside and she's not being playful about it, the best way to counteract that is by being serious too. Engage her on her level. By being jokey and saying "well, just don't rip off my shirt," it's kind of like you're just disregarded her feelings and concerns without really making her feel better about them. She still has those concerns. I know guys always say that you can't talk a girl into bed but you definitely can. In that case, get her to tell you what's wrong and just go through her concerns. At the end of the day, at least in that moment, she wanted you.

 

[asa_don]

The main mistake you made was trying to make plans with her the next day. Too much too soon, and she hasn't earned the right to have that much access to you. Even if she wanted to see you, you should have made her wait a few days.

you can bang a chick the same night you meet her if she goes for it, that isn't too much too soon. you want us to hold off on the sex and wait a few days when its right there?

I can only speculate

never speculate harry, you will always end up being wrong..

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Are. You. Fvcking. Serious?

Harry,

Not everything is absolute. My main mistake was not trying to make plans with her. My other mistake wasn't answering text messages. I'm sorry, but your advice is generic for this situation.

Oh boy... I see I have a person on hand that's not a fan of my advice. No biggie - but, I will say that I've been in a similar situation as yours. In fact, this very scenario played out a couple of years ago, but there are a few differences in our stories...

YOUR STORY: We bar hopped and kissed closed her during the second venue.
MY STORY: We went to lunch, then went to a bookstore to get coffee. Afterward, we drove around a bit, then stopped at Starbucks to talk some more.

YOUR STORY: We get close and she offers me a ride home.
MY STORY: I didn't have a car at the time, so she drove me everywhere. Eventually, she gives me a ride back to my place.

YOUR STORY: Stops in front of my house and says that she's afraid of getting too carried away. I asked her what she meant, and she responded 'like making out.' I respond, "Well, just don't rip off my shirt."
MY STORY: Stops in front of my house. We talk for about 45 minutes, then I go in to hug her, stare at her face for a moment, then we start making out.

YOUR STORY: Interest is high and wants me to hang out with her the next day.
MY STORY: Interest level is high. Before she can say something about wanting to see me again, I tell her I'll be busy the next few days (which was true)

AND NOW, HERE'S WHERE OUR STORIES DIFFER...

YOUR STORY: I get a text from my friend that he was at the bar and was too drunk to drive home. I tell her to drop me off where he was so I can take care of him.
MY STORY: I have my phone off so there's no distractions. We end up making out to the point that she's ready to do it in her car with me, in front of my building. Luckily it was raining and no one could see us, SOOOO.... yada yada yada, it was good times

YOUR STORY: She offers to give him a ride home as well. It's fine, I said. She drops me off in front and pulls me in to kiss me again.
MY STORY: I'm already home. After we finished, she pulls me in to kiss me again. I tell her "bye" and go back into my apartment.

YOUR STORY: I text her the next evening, "still up for tonight?" No response.
MY STORY: I run into her the next day at a coffee shop per chance. She's with a friend of hers studying. I say "hi" to her, small talk, then leave. An hour later she calls me to say "hey, what a coincidence we saw each other today," small talk, yada yada. I don't hit her up for 3 days after that; when I finally do, I do so to ask her out on a date. She agrees, and we go out again.

So, let's recap, shall we?

YOUR STORY: You didn't get her hint that she wanted to do more stuff with you in the car; you killed the mojo of the moment by having the phone on and answering your buddy's text; you tried to secure a next-day date while still on your current date; and, even if you were trying to plan something next day, you didn't have a concrete plan that you could say in the moment
MY STORY: I made the moves necessary to score in the car; I kept my phone off (and told her to silence hers) so there'd be no mood-killing moments; I made sure to wait a few days after we banged to hit her up; and when I did hit her up I had an event, place, and time already in play, which she was more than happy to agree to.

Is the advice I gave you absolute? Of course not, nothing is! But going off of these two stories, as well as a plethora of other stories I could give you - not to mention the overwhelming proof on these boards of guys who try to set up next-day/same day dates vs. those who are more patient - I'd have to say the odds of the advice I gave you working are far better than the current plan you're using. Have a nice day!

 

[Bingo-Player]

Oh man i love redheads got a real thing for them
A rare commodity in my area though

Anyway the changing point in your date was when she gave you the “im afraid of getting carried away line”

It was nothing more than a mere sh*t test and unfortunately you didn’t give her the reassurance that she wanted and her anti sl*t defence system picked up on it and locked you out

I believe a more appropriate answer would have been
“ its good to get carried away once in a while......”

In this sort of situation ****y funny – “well just don’t rip my shirt” won’t work

When secks with a woman is imminent you have to work on their emotional level it’s a huge deal for them and trying to be funny is going to fvck things up very quickly (based on my own experiences)

Personally i think the rest of what happened is irrelevant – the going to rescue the friend and arranging the next day date probably didn’t help much but i don’t think it would have made that much difference

i think she will eventually reach out to you but until then make no more effort

 

[BeDJ]

Thanks for the input everyone

 

[BeDJ]

Know what? You guys are right. My apologies if i was aggressive toward some of you in my earlier post. In my attempt to not fvck women on the first date as I always tried to last year, I missed an opportunity. I took her bait of hanging out the next day, which BeDJ of 2013 would have frowned upon. I guess that assho|e was doing something right.

 

[JohnChops]

The main mistake you made was trying to make plans with her the next day. Too much too soon, and she hasn't earned the right to have that much access to you. Even if she wanted to see you, you should have made her wait a few days.

The second mistake you made was keeping your phone on and actually reading your messages during the date. You had a girl wanting to make out with you and LEFT her to rescue a friend... but you wouldn't have had to do that had you not had your phone on in the first place. I can only speculate since I can't read her mind, but she probably didn't like that you did that. And THEN, she offered to give your friend a ride, but most likely it was so that she could have you to herself after you dropped him off... and you turned her down?? No wonder she may not be responding...

Harry showing his true colors, so he should have ditched his friend for a girl.... holy hell harry.

And whats your quarrel with phones anyway? I never understood that.... :moon:

 

[Partizan]

Harry showing his true colors, so he should have ditched his friend for a girl.... holy hell harry.

And whats your quarrel with phones anyway? I never understood that.... :moon:

If my buddy is too drunk to drive, he can take a cab home. If we were both already in the same location, that's one thing. But **** if I'm going to go across town to pick him up.