Date or Not to date...

[mzplk]

A bit of background: I'm a virgin, no relationship experience, 22yo. My friends are kind of...demotivating cliqued out group of three smokers (i don't smoke, i don't really care who does).

This one girl in class (community college) asked if I wanted to go out for some coffee early in the morning before class a few days ago. I agreed and we went out (by the school cafe) for some coffee, talked a bit (no real chemistry, nothing really at all).
After class that day, she was wondering if I wanted to go out for dinner on the weekends (evening). I kinda waved it around a bit, see if she could call me back about that...

Anyway, I'm not really interested in this girl at all. Not that great looking (face definitely not!), nothing really to talk about. (She's) Kind of awkward, bit low on social skills. No real chemistry with her either (although, maybe now's too soon?). Then again: I'm a virgin, no relationship experience, 22yo, barely any real experience talking to girls (i mean, attraction-wise. Otherwise i can talk to anyway just fine).

Seriously, I'm not trying to end up with her. I would like to get it on (casually), but...this just isn't turning out to be that girl. No attraction, nothing interesting to talk about, etc. (Socially nothing there either.)

Given my past, fine...some of this may be my fault. But that does not make it any more right.

So: should I go with her to "dinner", or just put it off?
(I really don't want to go. On the other hand, though, I'm not too great myself on the whole "attraction" thing either. But not that I want to stay that way. I need to improve. Unfortunately, she's not really that kind of girl...if you know what i mean)

 

[Zarky]

yup, go. At your age you need all the practice you can get. While you're out with her, keep a running tab of all your body language that you exhibit when you're with a girl you're not interested in. I mean everything you do, your body position, your tone of voice, how fast you move, where you position yourself in relation to her, etc. etc. etc.

Stick this in your head and do it all again when you are out with a chick that you are super hot for

You see?

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Yeah definitely go.

It also helps if she's got poorer social skills to see what kinds of awkward things SHE tends to do.

I know that it sometimes blows my mind when I meet people with the same social ineptitudes that I used to suffer from.

It's all practice until you find someone who changes your life, and you definitely don't want to be practicing on that one.

edit: if things go well and she keeps asking you out and tries to make things serious, DO NOT let her drag you into a relationship that you don't want to be in. It only gets harder every time you let her pull you closer. Of course, that's only IF you aren't interested but she clearly is.

 

[Packers2010]

we all have dated an uggo man. inducing me. best thing to do is just go out and get some exp for other girls in the future.

 

[sodbuster]

put on the training wheels first,as you learn to ride a bike, take them off one at a time. God forbid you try to jump on a Harley if you've never ridden a bike.

 

[Tesl]

Yeah I'd probably go anyway, but I could never sleep with a girl I'm not attracted to. But more time out talking to a woman cant hurt.

Sounds like what you really need to do though is spend less time with your clique and start meeting other women! That solves all your problems.

 

[pinhas]

Cant always pound a princess; sometimes you have to pork a pig!

Go for it, get some experience and hone your skills. Then move on.

 

[synergy1]

ha ha, every varsity team needs to play against a practice squad every so often. Thats all this is. You aren't getting married to her.

Go out and polish up on your skills. At the very least, the next chick you are talking too you can tell about your last date.

 

[Lucifero]

Go for it.

If she still wants to take you on dates after a bad first one do it, just make sure you split it 50-50 or she pays in full.

You a virgin, so try to get her isolated and do your thing. She's obviously interested so go for the home run early.

 

[pipe007]

keep us updated!, Good luck, its good practice...

 

[mzplk]

Hmm...no date this time, she kinda had some plans over the weekend...

Anyway I don't really care for her (i.e., she doesn't really interest me in any way, physically or mentally), but I figured that was precisely why I should have went for dinner. Before I can go out with someone that does attract, I should at least be able to connect with someone that doesn't. So far I am a bit of a nice guy, but getting out with someone I have ZERO interest should help push that annoying-little nice side out.
Unfortunately, I have zero "drive" to organize or do anything with her (it's not just looks; there was no personality or chemistry either, just feels like a waste of time...)

By the way,
I found on attractionforums.com some thread that mentions various "x#-day challenges" or missions, and so forth, but doesn't describe them in any detail (just mentions their name). Do you guys know of any links that describe such things in more detail?

 

[perseverance]

It's up to you, if you're not interested, you're not interested and if you aren't sexually attracted to her, don't sleep with her.

Being 22 and a virgin isn't a problem, you being a virgin shouldnt matter, because I highly doubt it will bother most women if you don't make a massive deal about it. Hell, I have a female friend who loves virgin men, hell she deflowered me! So, just decline, offer friendship and find someone you are interested and go from there.