kraytkiller
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2008
- Messages
- 192
- Reaction score
- 8
Haven't been here in a while. Was mostly a lurker a while back.. and a bit younger. Now, I recently exited a LTR and truth be told, I just suck.
Reading here has helped refresh the person who I was, who I was more happy with. I've started reading the bible again, ect ect and started framing myself as the prize.
Anyways, to the point. Had a date tonight. We planned to meet up, and I headed out. First thing, 30 minutes from when we were supposed to meet up, she texted me 'Are we still on?' To which I shortly replied 'Ya' shortly after. I was riding a motorcycle through traffic and didn't have the time or attention span to delay replying -- I just wanted to get it done with. So I pretty much instantly responded. I didn't want to wait too long and have her think I wasn't going to show up, and use that as an excuse not to show. Mostly for my own reason -- I was already far from my house and I didn't want to possibly waste my time by messing that up (seems a little insecure) but I really didn't see it as a big deal.
Fast forward, we meet up. I see her, and smile and she smiles too, and I give her a nice hug. We proceed with the planned date: Dinner and a movie
This stereotypical date is something I'm unhappy I ended up doing, but due to distance and the time of the date, I really couldn't think of a cheaper activity to do. My schedule is also very packed with work, and this would be the only free day we could get together. More on that later...
We sit down for dinner. It's fun, I keep the conversation going the majority of the time, and she is talking plenty. I tease her and she's laughing, and one exchange that stuck out was her trying to read me or something.. and I asked her 'What am I thinking?' and she said 'I dont know why, but the first thing that came to my mind was butt stuff' and I teased her for having a dirty mind, trying to put sexual thoughts in her mind. I ended up teasing her a few more times for having a naughty mind throughout the rest of the conversation, trying to create the frame of being a sexual male.
We have some drinks, and enjoy dinner. The tab comes, and it's more than I'd like to spend. This was the first lesson for me I plan to never repeat: Such an expensive activity for a first date. Unfortunately I already committed to this activity before revisiting this site, and I try to keep my word as much as possible. So, I forked up the cash for it. Not a big deal, but lesson learned.
I read from previous threads on here that if you invite them to an activity, expect to pay for it. Fair enough. One thing I want to make sure to do in the future is plan less expensive or completely free first dates. Lesson learned. Never again...
Anyways, throughout dinner I used light light kino but didn't have much of a change to do much. Just touching her hand, comparing her hand size to mine, having her do a puzzle with a pen on the back of my hand, touching the small of her back while walking through doors, and as we left, I jokingly but obviously checked out her butt. To which she giggled. All good signs. I figured throughout dinner, that I would simply kino more during the movie.
So we go to the movie. Long story short, I paid again. Adding more to my remorse. Like I said lesson learned haha. Sitting through the movie, a romantic comedy, I immediately grabbed her hand (confidently) and started holding it at the beginning. We held hands for a while, I switched to placing my hand on her thigh, then after a while back to her hand, and then I pulled away completely and looked to see how she reacted.
I noticed a lot of fidgeting, hair playing at this point, nervous movements. I think she was wondering why I pulled away. To test, I held her hand again. The movements calmed. Seems I was on with this one. After more hand holding I pulled away again, and just decided to watch the movie and see what she did. She started sitting closer, foot touching my leg, arm touching mine, and then eventually actually initiated the next hand hold. Cool, I guess.
I couldn't figure out how to take it any further from here, or if I even should have. But I was content with the progress. We continued to touch for the rest of the movie. Good or bad?
After the movie we left. I considered kissing her before we got in the car, but we had to drive back to the parking lot where I left my bike, so I decided to wait until then. During the short car ride back I didn't see an opportunity to escalate any further.
When we arrived, is when things got odd. I figure I messed up somewhere along the line, or she was shyt testing me.
So we get to my bike, and this is obviously the kissing part of the date. First test from me, I wanted to see if she'd exit the car. If she did, obvious sign to kiss close. Instead, she sat inside and it was obvious she wouldn't be exiting. Hmm
So I looked at her after the usual fun time small talk, and kiss closed her. Well, I did end up kissing her, but just a small peck on the lips. This is not acceptable to me. I looked at her with a neutral face for a while, and kind of kept my head in a midpoint between me and her to see if she was willing to reinitiate a better kiss. Signs pointed to no. I thought about going for it anyways... but felt that would be desperate and seem needy. I am the prize. She should want to kiss me, or her loss. I instead smiled and after we had kissed she said 'We should do this again' To which I replied 'Yeah sounds good, we'll figure it out later' and told her I had fun, see you later, got my stuff and left.
After I got out, she drove off, but ended up driving by again (in a parking lot, she couldve turned right to go where she wanted, but instead took a path that made her cross directly in front of me again) and she was staring at me as I put on my moto gear, and I waved and smiled. Couldn't see her much, but I think she waved too. Who cares.
So, interesting (but not really) stuff. I was disappointed with the results -- I didn't expect a lay, but I did expect atleast a makeout. I wonder why not?
I'm considering not talking to her until next week, when I can figure out the day I'm free and try to make solid plans. I plan on texting, but probably calling her, having an activity ready that I already sort of framed during this date (motorcycle ride) and then telling her to come along. After that, no more interaction until the date. It happened tonight, and so far neither of us have texted each other. Interested to see if she will text within the next 3-5 days.
Is that too long? The date was overall, positive. I think perhaps checking in with a short text exchange maybe after day 3 would be wise, to keep me in her mind.
Next time we see each other I expect a makeout as a result, or I'll be nexting her. I have a date set up for this weekend or sometime next week with another girl as well, work schedule permitting.
for me, I'm disappointed in spending too much money for too little. Totally AFC mistake. Never again!
I'm disappointed I didn't try to more sexually escalate.. she mightve responded well. I did slap her butt once, to which she responded slightly positively or neutrally. She responded well to my dirty jokes, seeming to enjoy the double entendres and innuendo when I used them. However the reluctance to kiss was... odd.
And I'm still not sure if not going for it was the right thing, or not. I have no doubt you should always try for it, but I'd rather prolong this for practice than mess it up first date. Insecurity?
Edit: Throughout the date she also tried bringing up some serious topics like daddy issues, which I deflected back to less serious topics. She also didn't ask much about me, but I figure that is normal with some girls. She brought up stories about exes occasionally, to which I was neutral and unbothered by. I believe in astrology being a basic guideline for most personalities, and she's a Gemini -- this is one trait that apparently a lot of geminis do. Didnt let it phase me. I usually just said 'Oh really?' and redirected.
Thoughts?
Reading here has helped refresh the person who I was, who I was more happy with. I've started reading the bible again, ect ect and started framing myself as the prize.
Anyways, to the point. Had a date tonight. We planned to meet up, and I headed out. First thing, 30 minutes from when we were supposed to meet up, she texted me 'Are we still on?' To which I shortly replied 'Ya' shortly after. I was riding a motorcycle through traffic and didn't have the time or attention span to delay replying -- I just wanted to get it done with. So I pretty much instantly responded. I didn't want to wait too long and have her think I wasn't going to show up, and use that as an excuse not to show. Mostly for my own reason -- I was already far from my house and I didn't want to possibly waste my time by messing that up (seems a little insecure) but I really didn't see it as a big deal.
Fast forward, we meet up. I see her, and smile and she smiles too, and I give her a nice hug. We proceed with the planned date: Dinner and a movie
This stereotypical date is something I'm unhappy I ended up doing, but due to distance and the time of the date, I really couldn't think of a cheaper activity to do. My schedule is also very packed with work, and this would be the only free day we could get together. More on that later...
We sit down for dinner. It's fun, I keep the conversation going the majority of the time, and she is talking plenty. I tease her and she's laughing, and one exchange that stuck out was her trying to read me or something.. and I asked her 'What am I thinking?' and she said 'I dont know why, but the first thing that came to my mind was butt stuff' and I teased her for having a dirty mind, trying to put sexual thoughts in her mind. I ended up teasing her a few more times for having a naughty mind throughout the rest of the conversation, trying to create the frame of being a sexual male.
We have some drinks, and enjoy dinner. The tab comes, and it's more than I'd like to spend. This was the first lesson for me I plan to never repeat: Such an expensive activity for a first date. Unfortunately I already committed to this activity before revisiting this site, and I try to keep my word as much as possible. So, I forked up the cash for it. Not a big deal, but lesson learned.
I read from previous threads on here that if you invite them to an activity, expect to pay for it. Fair enough. One thing I want to make sure to do in the future is plan less expensive or completely free first dates. Lesson learned. Never again...
Anyways, throughout dinner I used light light kino but didn't have much of a change to do much. Just touching her hand, comparing her hand size to mine, having her do a puzzle with a pen on the back of my hand, touching the small of her back while walking through doors, and as we left, I jokingly but obviously checked out her butt. To which she giggled. All good signs. I figured throughout dinner, that I would simply kino more during the movie.
So we go to the movie. Long story short, I paid again. Adding more to my remorse. Like I said lesson learned haha. Sitting through the movie, a romantic comedy, I immediately grabbed her hand (confidently) and started holding it at the beginning. We held hands for a while, I switched to placing my hand on her thigh, then after a while back to her hand, and then I pulled away completely and looked to see how she reacted.
I noticed a lot of fidgeting, hair playing at this point, nervous movements. I think she was wondering why I pulled away. To test, I held her hand again. The movements calmed. Seems I was on with this one. After more hand holding I pulled away again, and just decided to watch the movie and see what she did. She started sitting closer, foot touching my leg, arm touching mine, and then eventually actually initiated the next hand hold. Cool, I guess.
I couldn't figure out how to take it any further from here, or if I even should have. But I was content with the progress. We continued to touch for the rest of the movie. Good or bad?
After the movie we left. I considered kissing her before we got in the car, but we had to drive back to the parking lot where I left my bike, so I decided to wait until then. During the short car ride back I didn't see an opportunity to escalate any further.
When we arrived, is when things got odd. I figure I messed up somewhere along the line, or she was shyt testing me.
So we get to my bike, and this is obviously the kissing part of the date. First test from me, I wanted to see if she'd exit the car. If she did, obvious sign to kiss close. Instead, she sat inside and it was obvious she wouldn't be exiting. Hmm
So I looked at her after the usual fun time small talk, and kiss closed her. Well, I did end up kissing her, but just a small peck on the lips. This is not acceptable to me. I looked at her with a neutral face for a while, and kind of kept my head in a midpoint between me and her to see if she was willing to reinitiate a better kiss. Signs pointed to no. I thought about going for it anyways... but felt that would be desperate and seem needy. I am the prize. She should want to kiss me, or her loss. I instead smiled and after we had kissed she said 'We should do this again' To which I replied 'Yeah sounds good, we'll figure it out later' and told her I had fun, see you later, got my stuff and left.
After I got out, she drove off, but ended up driving by again (in a parking lot, she couldve turned right to go where she wanted, but instead took a path that made her cross directly in front of me again) and she was staring at me as I put on my moto gear, and I waved and smiled. Couldn't see her much, but I think she waved too. Who cares.
So, interesting (but not really) stuff. I was disappointed with the results -- I didn't expect a lay, but I did expect atleast a makeout. I wonder why not?
I'm considering not talking to her until next week, when I can figure out the day I'm free and try to make solid plans. I plan on texting, but probably calling her, having an activity ready that I already sort of framed during this date (motorcycle ride) and then telling her to come along. After that, no more interaction until the date. It happened tonight, and so far neither of us have texted each other. Interested to see if she will text within the next 3-5 days.
Is that too long? The date was overall, positive. I think perhaps checking in with a short text exchange maybe after day 3 would be wise, to keep me in her mind.
Next time we see each other I expect a makeout as a result, or I'll be nexting her. I have a date set up for this weekend or sometime next week with another girl as well, work schedule permitting.
for me, I'm disappointed in spending too much money for too little. Totally AFC mistake. Never again!
I'm disappointed I didn't try to more sexually escalate.. she mightve responded well. I did slap her butt once, to which she responded slightly positively or neutrally. She responded well to my dirty jokes, seeming to enjoy the double entendres and innuendo when I used them. However the reluctance to kiss was... odd.
And I'm still not sure if not going for it was the right thing, or not. I have no doubt you should always try for it, but I'd rather prolong this for practice than mess it up first date. Insecurity?
Edit: Throughout the date she also tried bringing up some serious topics like daddy issues, which I deflected back to less serious topics. She also didn't ask much about me, but I figure that is normal with some girls. She brought up stories about exes occasionally, to which I was neutral and unbothered by. I believe in astrology being a basic guideline for most personalities, and she's a Gemini -- this is one trait that apparently a lot of geminis do. Didnt let it phase me. I usually just said 'Oh really?' and redirected.
Thoughts?
