"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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date for friday.. dilemma!! need help!

blackwolf

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okay so we are meeting on friday. theres two options, meet her at about 12 for 2 hours cause she has to go back to work until 6.30. or meet her the same day 7pm AFTER she finishes work for a coffee at the local shops. dunno what to do. maybe 7pm as i will have more time for her?
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Allurre

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It doesn't really matter.

It's how you interact during the moments together that counts.

However, if you do meet her after work, she'll feel less subconsciously time constrained, and more relaxed knowing she doesn't have to 'return to work'
later.
 

blackwolf

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thats what i thought... also, she suggested movie + coffee but apparently first dates and movies arent a good idea because you need to get to know each other before that. so just coffee i guess? how would i end the date? do i wait for her to say "well i gotta go." ?? i havent been on a proper date like this for a long time. mostly just random hook ups. so im a little rusty.

any tips?
 

VastanVer2.0

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Meet her after work. Do drinks instead of coffee. Have an excuse to get her back to your place (show her something cool/unique that you have, cool music, photos, hobby, think of something). Escalate.
 

blackwolf

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on a first date, to take her to my place? (btw i don't drink alcohol and she knows this) - my house is down the road from where we're meeting too sooo i guess i could.. just didn't wanna freak her out asking to come over on our first date.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Maximus Rex

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blackwolf said:
okay so we are meeting on friday. theres two options, meet her at about 12 for 2 hours cause she has to go back to work until 6.30. or meet her the same day 7pm AFTER she finishes work for a coffee at the local shops. dunno what to do. maybe 7pm as i will have more time for her?

I gave a persuasive speech in my speech class encouraging the guys in the class to be men when they approach woman. During my presentation, I asked the women in the class, how many men try to approach them in a day. The two women in the class said 6. I multiplied that 6 times 7 which is 42.

For argument's and discussion sake that you're perspective date has 6 guys trying to talk to her in the past week. Suppose she gives her number to 5 of them. What happens if she finds one of those dudes more interesting than you? Guess what going to happen to your Friday "date."

My questions are two fold:

1) Why are you letting so much time elapse between now and the date?

2) Why are you concerned about "what's convient for her?" Shouldn't you be concerned about what's convient for you and with scenario is going to facilitate a sexual encounter?

My suggestion is on Friday you ask her when she's going to have dinner. If for example she says 8. Tell her to meet you at "x" location after she's finished eating. Also do this, read the DJ Bible, The Book of Pook, The Game, and The Mystery Method, before you ask another question. No texting.
 

blackwolf

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well she has two jobs and studies... that being she said she's free only on friday and saturday night. she even suggested like said before, meeting in the middle of the day... sounds like she really wants to meet me if she's putting effort into it. she's the one who even suggested it. all i said was lets catch up sometime and she straight out said, well im free friday/sat.

anyway, that's not really a big "time elapse" as you say. we only just met and im not gonna say hey lets meet up tomorrow night after only just meeting her.

btw guys, do you kiss them on the cheek or shake their hand or hug on the first date to greet them? i do remember once meeting a girl in the city and she just hugged me straight up when we met.

also, i said coffee and fuel is on me.. is that too much? she is driving to my hood, thats 30 mins drive.. am i being too kind? i think that if the girl at least see you contribute something to a date they appreciate you. especially if shes the one driving everywhere.
 

Falcon25

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Relax buddy. Just have fun. Take her out to drinks after she gets off work. Either offer to pick her up, or have her meet you.....DO NOT INVITE HER OVER TO YOUR PLACE. That's horrible. If she wants to, she will let you know. This is a first date. Act like she is your male buddies you are talking to, have fun. At the end of the night, try to kiss her. Don't make plans at the end, just say "had a great time, I'll call you". And that's it.

By the way, if she wants to meet in the middle of the day, it means she is not comfortable, not that she wants to see you. You have to get them out at night. Homo's meet during the day, men meet women at night.
 

blackwolf

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okay how do i actually get in a kiss... obviously i cant do it while we are out drinking coffee lol. i suppose im gonna get her to drop me off as i live down the road from our meeting place (shes driving down) and plant a kiss in the car :)
 

Deadly_Ripped

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blackwolf I am not comfortable giving a kiss hello to a new first date, so I don't do it. Instead I always go for the hug unless she puts her hand out before I hug her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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blackwolf

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should i meet her at the coffee shop inside or outside the shopping center, then walk in to the coffee shop with her?
 

Deadly_Ripped

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Try to imagine someone else asking you that question - inside or outside the coffee shop?

If it was me asking it, what would you say?
 

neghitzbrah

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Dude, we can answer all these little questions and chances are you will forget what we say when it happens. Then you will probably fvck up when the date comes because you put so much thought into it.

Just relax man. Do whatever you do, and if you fvck up there will be more opportunities. Is this the last pu$$y you will ever get a chance to fvck for the rest of your life?????
 

blackwolf

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i really don't know. i guess it might be awkward walking into the shopping center and all the way up to the second floor for the first date.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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Why would that be awkward? It's an opportunity to ask her how her walk/drive over was... talk about whatever.... ask her if she did anything over St. Patty's day weekend.. just bs with her on the way up.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Maxtro

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If the shopping center has many entrances then you need to coordinate where to meet up, what time to arrive and all that stuff.

I think it's best to just arrange to meet inside the coffee shop.

Simpler that way.
 

blackwolf

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yeah there are many entrances. i was thinking just call her or text when im there and i will wait for her outside the coffee shop. same thing if shes there first :)
 

blackwolf

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i think i shouldn't of but when we arranged it i said coffee and fuel is on me. because she's driving down about 20-30 minutes to a place she's not familiar with. is that being too nice?
 

CarlitosWay

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blackwolf said:
okay so we are meeting on friday. theres two options, meet her at about 12 for 2 hours cause she has to go back to work until 6.30. or meet her the same day 7pm AFTER she finishes work for a coffee at the local shops. dunno what to do. maybe 7pm as i will have more time for her?
Meet her at 12 before she has work? Why that would be something one of her girlfriends or some schmuck would quickly jump to do. I don't know about you but when I go out with someone I like the night life and I feel more on point with my game, especially if it's the first time hanging out with them.

Dress to impress, when you see her give her a big hug like you mean it, tease her about something or go with whatever style suits you and has you genuinely in a good mood. A woman's worse nightmare is some boring ass date with some dull guy who just sits there staring at her or the wall looking like an idiot because he's struggling to think of some interesting or clever **** to say. Avoid awkward moments at all costs, it should be something like sex, when you feel you're going to bust change positions and technique to keep going strong..

Just last week I had a chic telling me how she had the most awkward date with a guy who payed for a dinner and a movie, lots of staring and silence. You know what she said? "The date sucked but good thing is at least I got a free dinner and a movie" and she's pretty much going to **** this other guy who takes her out to drink at a friends house with the guy probably only shelling out as much as the booze costs haha.:rolleyes:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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