"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dark Fantasies

Frank2500

Master Don Juan
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Do any folks on here have some dark fantasies? My fantasy at the moment has to do with the fact that I'm being considered to teach a course at a university down in Florida, and the director of my program is smoking hot. I've seen her picture, she's a hot blonde. Well, I'm still in the application phase, but I was fantasizing that if I made the cut and she called me for an in-person interview, perhaps she could say to me privately: "Well, you know...if you really want this job, you're gonna have to **** me."

Also folks, about two months ago, I talked to a woman I used to like a lot at my former university but never got a chance to make a move on until recently. She told me she's been involved in a longterm relationship for a while, but told me to stop by and say hello whenever I happen to be visiting my former school. Isn't that basically putting me in the friend zone? Does anyone think a woman would say something like that to a guy whom she was willing to give a chance?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
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Feb 26, 2002
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Colorado
How is that dark?
 

Freddy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 29, 2005
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I watch out for sexual harrasment accusations.
I make it a personal policy to never have sexual or intimate relationships with anyone from a work place. I've seen someone from an old work place charged with sexual harassment befor. Stay away! is my advice.

As for fantasies its best not to encourage them if its going to get yourself in trouble one day. Just dont think about it.
 
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