dancing with other guys

[jaybeezi]

she's dancing with other guys

Yea, i'm new here, and very much an AFC, I have been reading a ton of articles, and posts on this site recently, and got up the nerve to ask this girl out that I work with she said yes then she asked me for my #, 3 days later she calls, and we talk for an hour, we meet at a club later that night, and she was inside waiting for me, fighting off all the guys that are trying to dance with her, I get there, and we start dancing, she was having a good time at first, then started to lose interest (I think), after awhile this guy started talking to her, he asked if she was there with anyone and she said no, just here with my friend, (I was standing right there), they talk a little, and he goes off to do something else, (but ends up pretty much stalking her the whole night, and she keeps talking to him) then she starts dancing with other guys, and freakin them way more than she did with me, (they were "friends" of mine) I just dont get this girl, she seems happy to be with me, and then she is just like "whatever" and goes off doing her own thing.

 

[alakazam]

She's disrespecting you dude. Don't stand for that and move on.

 

[Big Pappy]

You are in the friend zone!

How did this happen? When dancing, you should lay the "mack" down on her. This lets you know right up front where you both stand. If she's not into you, you tell her it's her moral responsibility to pick out a girl for you to mack on while she watches. Next thing you know, you'll have a wing lady - an invaluable asset in laying the mack down.

 

[Player_Supreme]

I agree with the two above posters.

Let me add:

1. women are fickle.

2. you didn't hold her interest. Not she lost interest...but it was your job to get in that head of her's and command attention and respect.

3. your doing good by asking her out...except it should be never ever ever in my opinion with work ho's.

4. keep up the good work...you will learn over time.

 

[jaybeezi]

yea, I dont know, a girl I know said she could be trying to make me jealous, hmm. We were gonna go to carrows. Then the guy that was talking to her was waiting outside in his car, , and she was talking sh*t about him, but when he pulled up she started talking to him, wtf?? and she told him we were going to carrows.

For some reason he didnt go, I think I overheard him saying that he would call her, (I dont have her # yet). we were driving there and when she noticed he wasnt behind us she said, "oh thank god". I asked her why she even talked to him? and she said she wasnt interested in him, I just kinda shrugged my shoulders and said whatever. But we are supposed to go see a movie next weekend. we'll see what happens.

 

[jaybeezi]

and I dont actually work with her, she works a different shift in a different dept, so I see her for like 5 min at work.

 

[Pap]

Either she was dancing with others to have more fun as you were not conveying enough higher value and having enough fun, or she was dancing with others just to be social and seek more stimulus.

Either way, if a girl that comes out with my friends and I is dancing with others, I'd let them for awhile, start dancing with other girls and have fun. Then, I'd cut the guys out and takeover dancing with her.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Did I read this right?? You were on an official date with her and when pimp stalker dude asked her if she was there with anybody, she said "no". Are you nobody?? She made herself available to dude for a reason. She gave pimp stalker dude her number. If she didn't like him, she would have told him the truth!!

You should have walked right then and there - left her alone and sought more worthy company. She disrespected you bro and you took it without consequence. You know you were disrespected and yet you made plans for next weekend. Don't be surprised if she does this again, because she knows that she can get away with it because you want her so desperately.

Then to add insult to injury, she freak dances with your friends in front of you on your first date!! Hos have no shame!!

Say no to hos and to homos!

Above all else, keep your dignity!! Cancel your date and tell her that you don't like her ho attitude and dismiss her with strong language! She'll respect you for this!

 

[DJmonster]

Don't waste your time with this girl. Like PRL said, she dissed you, and you put up with it. No good can come from this. Start fresh with a new girl. This one will never respect you after a first date like that. Sure you could practice your DJ skills on her, but why spend your energy on a lost cause. (Probably a good thing, this girl sounds like a ho) Go spend your energy on new prospects.

 

[Trance]

Talking to some guy its normal if he aproaches her even if she's on a date, but if she talks more then a couple of minutes then...

And if she says she's with nobody, i would walk away right that minute. That's ****, next.

Btw 1 piece of advice. On a date dont go to a club with the chick. If u wanna make out with her its not the best place, beside dancing only the two of you for some hours may cause loss of interest and boredom.
The best thing to do is go in a group of 2 friends and 2 girl friends and go clubing. Dance with the girls for social proof, the other girls around notice, and then since you are in a group you can go for a walk for some fishing in the dance floor. You will have a lot of fun this way, get 2 girls that can go clubing with you that you arent much interested, and have fun in this way.

 

[Tango-Kid]

Ai agree 110% with Puertorican. Cancel the date, and if possible, sleep with her sister.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Pap
Either she was dancing with others to have more fun as you were not conveying enough higher value and having enough fun, or she was dancing with others just to be social and seek more stimulus.

Either way, if a girl that comes out with my friends and I is dancing with others, I'd let them for awhile, start dancing with other girls and have fun. Then, I'd cut the guys out and takeover dancing with her.

Seen this IRL too. Works.

My guess is that you were either not a good dancer or you were just too shy.

Taking a girl to a club on a first date is a dumb idea in the first place. But if you ARE going to do it, you'd better be a moderately good dancer and have fun dancing. Otherwise, honestly, what are you doing in a club?? You have very little chance to get to know her with the music going, there's not much to do socially in a club except drink and dance, and you've got every other loser in the place (and some WINNERS) trying to snatch her out from under you.

I'll tell you what I think, and stop me if I'm wrong, but I think you were thinking, somewhere in the back of your mind, that since clubs are such "meat-markets" ( ) that if you brought your girl there, she would instantly get in the mood to get freaky with you. *BUZZ* Wrong.

And then you have her "meet you there," instead of taking her there so you at least came together. So she's sitting there in a club watching other people dance and make out and have fun and she's sitting on the sidelines waiting for you and rejecting advances from guys just as cute. When you get there, you better show her an AWESOME time...or quite frankly, you're SOL.

As far as where you go from here...if you DO manage to get another date with this one, I'd do something a little more fun that you can both get into. It was wrong of her to diss you like that, but you weren't exactly Mr. Wonderful either, so you're both started out on the wrong foot. (it's funny how many "Master DJs" actually want to blame this 100% on the woman) If you want to salvage it, be a man and take control of what's going on and make sure it's FUN!

What movie, by the way?

 

[JohnJones]

Personally, I was going to say that its no big deal until I read that it was a date.

There's no need to be huffy about it but when that kind of thing happens, as everyone else says, go talk to other girls and dance with them (whether she can see you or not -- making her jealous is not the primary point). If you are not having a good time, just resolve to go home -- then tell her that's what you are doing.

It's your show and she can be there or not, but you write the script -- you are not there to be her default companion while she negotiates hook-ups, dances, or after hours drinks. If its a date, then its a date. If she doesn't agree, then why waste your time.

 

[Mr. Latte]

You may want to change the subject to "SHE'S dancing with other guys"

 

[jaybeezi]

squirrels, she wants to see Dawn of the Dead

 

[Skel]

oh lol I thought the title said HES dancing with other guys

Nevermind i came to..well nevermind

 

[Gonzalo]

Originally posted by jaybeezi
squirrels, she wants to see Dawn of the Dead

send her a link to the showtimes and tell her to enjoy the show. Dude, you wanna take a girl for a movie so she can keep referring to you as her "on one" friend? I think you're better starting fresh with another girl... G

 

[jaybeezi]

man, yesterday I was all upset over this, I kept thinking about it all day, but now i'm kind of glad it happened, I think it made/will make me switch to the DJ type of attitude much quicker than I would have otherwise, and I feel better knowing that I dont really care what she did and wont put up with it ever again

-thanks for everyone's advice.

p.s. I still am not sure if I will go to the movie with her or not, but i'll wait for her to call me, and see what she has to say.

There were some other girls there checkin me out when we were there anyway, hell I probably could have gone home with this one 35 year old the night before. So i'm definately not going to let this bother me anymore

 

[jaybeezi]

Just a couple of other noteable things that happened:

She kept looking at me when she was dancing with them.

She told me before we went that she gets too "friendly" when she drinks.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Well, instead of blaming her or himself. This is what everyone should do in the first couple of dates (or until you've gone to at least 3rd base) - DO NOT GO TO CLUBS FOR DATES. If you both feel like dancing, go to one of those salsa dancing thingies.