I've been going to nightclubs recently and I have been getting shot down left and right by girls at this one spot I hit up. The only two times I've gotten to dance is when I was approached by the girl. I'll be honest. I haven't been clubbing in almost three years but I thought I could get back into it. In the past, it was hit and miss. Sometimes the girl was into me, other times, she wasn't. Now it's all misses. Sometimes, I'll try to approach from behind and other times I ask. I still get rejected. My dance moves are the same as before (very basic) but now I'm starting to think that I may need to improve my dancing game. I usually wear a nice polo-type shirt with some dark blue jeans or khakis and either dark tennis shoes or less casual footwear. I think I may not be as relaxed as I used to because I don't drink as much because I have to drive home now. I always go to clubs alone (I did in the past) but I try to make conversation with other guys there. My question is for those who approach girls, how do you approach girls and do it successfully? What is your mindset? What do you do if you get rejected by the first girl you approach?
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Dance Club Tips
- Thread starter Juan_Man
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Eek...[shakes head]
I could probably go on and on and on about what you are doing wrong. But this is much easier: Go to a club and watch the type of guys that the girls are dancing with/making out with. Then, be that guy.
Super short version: Find some way to make sure that you are not the average guy wearing average clothes in the average club. You have to stand out and be better (not the same as) the other guys who are also not getting any play.
I could probably go on and on and on about what you are doing wrong. But this is much easier: Go to a club and watch the type of guys that the girls are dancing with/making out with. Then, be that guy.
Super short version: Find some way to make sure that you are not the average guy wearing average clothes in the average club. You have to stand out and be better (not the same as) the other guys who are also not getting any play.
Yes.
1: don't ever wear a polo to a club again
2: Dress nice, meaning wear slacks and dress shoes and those really annoying printed dress shirts made by 'eighty eight' or ed hardy or any of those trendy designers.
like this one, if you think you can pull it off:
http://www.kohls.com/upgrade/websto...ferralID=19d1926b-5c4c-11de-a563-000423bb4e95
It helps tremendously in a club if you arrive with other hot girls, that way you look like you are cool even if you aren't.
1: don't ever wear a polo to a club again
2: Dress nice, meaning wear slacks and dress shoes and those really annoying printed dress shirts made by 'eighty eight' or ed hardy or any of those trendy designers.
like this one, if you think you can pull it off:
http://www.kohls.com/upgrade/websto...ferralID=19d1926b-5c4c-11de-a563-000423bb4e95
It helps tremendously in a club if you arrive with other hot girls, that way you look like you are cool even if you aren't.
The best nights I've had were when I wasn't really dressed and didn't really care. Just a regular one color t-shirt and jeans is all I need. Just make sure you're well groomed and clean.
I laugh when you guys say how you have to stand out and sometimes go overboard trying to look "pretty". That's what women do...The last thing they need is guy doing it as well.
In general clubs and bars are not good places to meet women. When you walk into a club and make eye contact with a girl, it takes her no longer than 10 seconds to decide if she likes you or is interested in you in one way or another. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to girls at clubs. But you have to understand the reality of the situation. The same girls that reject you might be all over you had they met you in a non-club or different environment.
I laugh when you guys say how you have to stand out and sometimes go overboard trying to look "pretty". That's what women do...The last thing they need is guy doing it as well.
In general clubs and bars are not good places to meet women. When you walk into a club and make eye contact with a girl, it takes her no longer than 10 seconds to decide if she likes you or is interested in you in one way or another. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to girls at clubs. But you have to understand the reality of the situation. The same girls that reject you might be all over you had they met you in a non-club or different environment.
amoka
Master Don Juan
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How is your hair? Are you growing bald? Ensure that it is well groomed. Also, instead of wearing "black tennis shoe", get yourself some nice casual or dress shoe to go with. Look at the way ladies dress when they go to the club? They dress better than they dress to go to church. You wouldn't wear tennis shoe to church would you?
Mazeman11 said:
Your post is so ironic its not even funny. Yes, average guys like you who go out do not get the hot girls because they did not stand out...duh! So I could totally see how a guy who does not attract any attention would say that clubs are not a good place to meet women. I think that clubs are a great place to meet hot girls because of the large number of them present. If you are lucky enough to be one of the guys who gets lots of attention, you would take my point of view. I bet every wallflower guy would go on and on about how every club in the world sucks.
Its not the club...its YOU.
The club is just a building, it didn't do anything to you. I will give you that when there are 395 guys in a club and 5 girls, it sucks. But other than that, its just a place to socialize.
I'm a 27 year old black man. Only one person I know has commented on how I was starting to get bald but for the most part, my hair is fine as long as I keep it low. I understand what you are saying about girls looking nice, so I know I have to change my style. However, the last time I went, I saw a guy pull two girls wearing khaki shorts, a cap, a polo shirt, and slippers. He was kind of persistent with the girls though, who eventually gave in. When he was dancing with them, I kept thinking, if I had made an approach, would they have been interested? I don't know if it's really about how you dress or how you act.amoka said:
Well, just to update, I just got back from the same spot. The good news is that I did dance with a girl. Once again, I was the one who was approached. The streak of rejections has ended but I'm not sure if that moment of success could be attributed to a change in wardrobe or just the luck of being around the right girl at the right time. Either way, I thank you guys for the advice, especially Duffdog 
.
.After a fair bit of clubbing experience Ill tell you what Ive learnt...
1. Presentation
Have really good shoes, something unique, matching belt. Nice pants, shirt that stands out ie. I usually go with a T with a unique print, Im over dress shirts tbh.
2. Dance like your having the most fun in the world.
Smile. Move around. Eventually you actually will be having the most fun in the world haha.
A combination of these 2 will result in girls moving into your vacinity. Dont go up and grind them from behind haha, thats a fatal error. Just observe their patterns, youll see one is getting closer/her friends position themselves so she is next to you.
Extend your hand with a big smile, let the sparks fly my friend :woo:
Thats my personal experience, I remember going up and grinding on strangers haha, it never will work unless she is a complete sluzzah or your a model.
1. Presentation
Have really good shoes, something unique, matching belt. Nice pants, shirt that stands out ie. I usually go with a T with a unique print, Im over dress shirts tbh.
2. Dance like your having the most fun in the world.
Smile. Move around. Eventually you actually will be having the most fun in the world haha.
A combination of these 2 will result in girls moving into your vacinity. Dont go up and grind them from behind haha, thats a fatal error. Just observe their patterns, youll see one is getting closer/her friends position themselves so she is next to you.
Extend your hand with a big smile, let the sparks fly my friend :woo:
Thats my personal experience, I remember going up and grinding on strangers haha, it never will work unless she is a complete sluzzah or your a model.
Hughman
Senior Don Juan
I partially disagree with the grinding sentiment. Of course you aren't going to do any good without 'consent', but if she's moving into, presenting herselfFrog X said:
and/or giving you (flirty) eye contact, then move in and do it. Take control, dominate her. Being a ***** and waiting for her to actively grind you is a cop-out that every last beat male does.
Sorry if my simple basic style offends you. I get good looking women without having to impress or overdress. I guess it didn't occur to you that maybe I actually know how to talk to girls and am decent looking. I never said clubs suck for meeting women. I simply stated that they are NOT the best places.Duffdog said:
May I suggest some makeup to go with that designer shirt?
Happy clubin!
Hughman said:but if she's moving into, presenting herself
Err yeah but that kind of goes without saying doesnt it?
I would hate for the OP to be THAT guy who just walks up to randoms and starts dry humping them...if they are interested then yeah do your thing...
Hughman
Senior Don Juan
You'd be surprised how many clueless guys are out there.Frog X said:
Mazeman is saying that he doesn't really dress up and still gets hot girls. And you're saying that's not possible....Why are you saying he's an "average guy" because he doesn't dress up particularly?Duffdog said:
I score hot girls and I pretty much never dress up. Why am I "average" as a result and why is me scoring hot girls not possible?