Damn I got flaked on......

[El MonoLoco]

Long story short......

Botched first date didn't turn out so bad as the girl ends up calling me. We set something up for today.....this was Thurs....She had to study all day and I had to work so we were going to get together tonight....her idea.

I don't get off until 9, and she calls me at 5 and tells me that she's gonna go out of town to visit her mom for Mother's Day instead. Last minute change of plans. So I'm thinking that it's no big deal as it is Mother's Day and all.....

But damn now I'm annoyed for a few reasons...

1. I should have known better than to set up a date for Mother's Day weekend.

2. I made a HUGE mistake in actually preparing for said date...I bought a couple of flowers to give to her....not roses, just some random flowers, She had a long week of school and our last date kinda ended funky so I was trying to be nice....but not too nice ya dig?

3. I talked to her before she said she was leaving and mentioned that I had something for her for tonight but since she was leaving I didn't know what to do with it......I bought the flowers b4 I went to work and they are sitting in the fridge.....So I suggested that she cruise thru so she can have it. She's never been here ( to my work) so I told her some general directions and told her to call me when she got closer so I could giver her more details........yea she never called.

4. An hour and a half goes by so I call ...no answer.....left a message to not bother coming by and just go and enjoy her weekend with her mom....


Yes I know I failed here miserably.....more than once.......


The question is should I just move on and cut my losses or stick it out for another week and see what she does (if she does anything) when she gets back?

I'm not calling her anymore....

What do you guys think?

 

[akeith90]

I'm not really experienced, but I'd say give her a shot again. But let her call, it's good that you say you're not going to call her again.. You probably shouldn't have tried to call her, but oh well.

If she does nothing within a couple days from now I'd say just move on.

 

[Docs]

-_-

You shouldn't be considering cutting your losses/moving on on your own mistake. She gave pretty good reasons as to why she cut the date off, so you'd be a real as*hole to kick her to the dirt. Not every girl is a complete b!tch you know?

Let her call you though....and don't plan so heavily for future dates. You set yourself up for a fail, you know it, dont' let it happen again.

 

[Marlimus]

Short term advice:
Flowers was a bad idea. In addition to the fact that you should not be giving her flowers at all, you offered a mysterious gift as incentive for her to show up, subcommunicating that you have to bribe her in order to win her company. Flowers and other such tokens should only be used as a reward to reinforce good behavior, and to be withdrawn otherwise. Secondly, she cancelled the date but you are still willing to give her the flowers. You are letting her have her cake, and eat it too.
Premature 'nexting' temporarily coddles your ego but acomplishes nothing in the end. Wait two weeks, then try again.

Long term advice:
Read David Deangeo's Double Your Dating, and then the DJ Bible. Most flaws newbies make could be easily sidestepped if they would only heed this oft ignored advice.

 

[El MonoLoco]

Thanks guys.....

Yea I know I set myself up...just annoyed that I did it in the first place.



We'll see if she calls me when she gets back....


Thanks for the advice.




*edit*
Marlimus you wrote something b4 I wrote this....

I got the flowers cause I funked something up and wanted to say sorry...That was b4 she cancelled. About giving her the flowers anyway....I didn't want to just throw them out, which I'm gonna have to do anyway I guess.....but I understand what your saying and I know what I did wrong.....so thanks for smack to the back of the head.....

 

[DJDamage]

1. I should have known better than to set up a date for Mother's Day weekend.

Yep. I would also avoid weekend dates when you first meet a girl. Take her out on Wendsday or Thursday nights when people normally have nothing to do. Then when she becomes crazy about you, you can pretty much schedule any day of the week.

2. I made a HUGE mistake in actually preparing for said date...I bought a couple of flowers to give to her....not roses, just some random flowers, She had a long week of school and our last date kinda ended funky so I was trying to be nice....but not too nice ya dig?

I think you were too nice but that ain't a deal breaker (why does she earn a flower? for accepting a date from you? YOU ARE THE FLOWER, YOU ARE THE GIFT). If a guy she likes gives her flowers, she will still like him, if a guy she is unsure about gives her flowers, she won't like him.... you dig??!!

3. I talked to her before she said she was leaving and mentioned that I had something for her for tonight but since she was leaving I didn't know what to do with it......I bought the flowers b4 I went to work and they are sitting in the fridge.....So I suggested that she cruise thru so she can have it. She's never been here ( to my work) so I told her some general directions and told her to call me when she got closer so I could giver her more details........yea she never called.

That was not cool at all, on your part that is. The fun part should be the date, not the gift. You asked her to go out of her way to see a guy she barley knows, so she can get some sort of a gift??!! chicks don't respond well to that. They respond better when you make the date and the activity and all she has to do is show up. Too much on her part so soon and she loses interest quickley.

4. An hour and a half goes by so I call ...no answer.....left a message to not bother coming by and just go and enjoy her weekend with her mom....

Yes I know I failed here miserably.....more than once.......

The question is should I just move on and cut my losses or stick it out for another week and see what she does (if she does anything) when she gets back?

I'm not calling her anymore....

What do you guys think?

I think calling her and leaving her that message pretty much sealed the end of that relationship. I don't think this chick was digging you a whole lot and in order to save face afterwords you basically told her to fvck off. You are already in odds with this girl after ONE DATE!! I think you should cut your losses and sarge other chicks because your lack of options caused you to focus too much on her and your game plan went down the sh1tter.

DJD

 

[El MonoLoco]

My only saving grace here....


I called this other girl I've been talking to shortly after my first post and we're getting together later....

Otherwise I'd be kicking myself all night long trying to sarge in a bad frame of mind...


Damn I got to not do that anymore.......:box: Get the AFC out of my Head!!!!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Without getting into too much detail I'd summarize my response by telling you that your letting her know your interest level is sky high indirectly, (calling and telling her you have something for her, being too available) while you have no idea where her interest level is at in you.

Take the Mother's Day excuse with a grain of salt, it could be true or it could be an excuse, BUT its too early to tell. After you told her to call you to come pick up the gift, (bad idea in this case because your supplicating and showing her you afraid that you can't keep her attention yourself, since you felt that the 1st date didn't go so well) and she didn't call, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE CALLED!!! That made you look even weaker!

However with all that said I wouldn't NEXT her, but I would definitely put her in the back of my rotation and focus on other girls. If she calls and wants to go out, then play the game( back a little bit to put her on her toes. Its your only chance at reversing the situation and getting this girl to chase you.




PIMP

 

[El MonoLoco]

I need this >>>>:kick: :kick: :kick:


Cause I feel like a dumb ass right now.....I was making great progress with my skills and now I've taken a HUGE step backwards....


time to learn

 

[DJMaC23]

Bro don't feel dumb, you realize that you made some mistakes, you'll correct them and be on your way to a more crafted Don Juan.

Definitely x-nay on the flowers, next time. Only time a girl should get flowers from you is if she has been your girlfriend for like 3-4 months and she does something to deserve them, or been a good girl its good to surprise em sometimes...etc...never try to bribe a chick, which is what you were doing in a sense

 

[El MonoLoco]

Yea at the time I wasn't really thinking that the flowers were a bribe....

but in hindsight (always 20/20) I understand the underlying statement I made and reiterated by trying to get her to come to my work for them....

Stupid....but I'm still learning...again


Thanks for all the help guys...I'll get my sh*t together someday...

 

[khash]

dude having been on this site for 5 years, you should know that when its up to girls to call you, they simply DONT do it much. I explained in my post, they bring in their logical brain and you are toast. AlWAYS get the upperhand and you be the one calling them and setting up times.

 

[napkin]

regarding the article up on the main page.. you shouldve busted one of those... "well thats funny you say that, i was actually bout to go to a buddy of mines party.. forgot to call you... anyways.. call me when you can do something next week i guess" {then dont call her again till she calls you}

i actually said something along the lines of this tonight with my girl in a similar sit. except i think she just didnt wanna do sh!t= bigtime flake-out.
dont think this is the first time this girl did this to me either.. yet she keeps calling me every other day... ahhhh.. afc is the way to beeeeee (actually i have no idea how to handle this sit.) o well..

.. well.. got some other seniors number though.. a'm call her tomorrow.. :crazy: let the games begin..

 

[El MonoLoco]

sorry Khash i took about 3.5 years off from the game for personal reasons and now I'm jumping back in...So it's been a while and I'm rusty....not quite up to par yet...but I'm actually doing better than before....minus this last mess...


Thanks for the input though....I know I should know what the hell I'm doing...

I'll figure it out.

 

[Macgyver]

Doesn't seem all that bad bro, give those flowers to your mom. SHAME ON YOU for giving it to some random girl you don't know and you ignore your OWN MOTHER ON MOTHER'S DAY. Now go take a sh!t while thinking about this.

 

[sexy_kuta]

not to be mean or to pick u but i think u were too nice.

like girls they dont want a nice guy thats why they girl their own gfs for that nice stuff.

girls want a man to sweep them off their feet..

in reality if girls could date fire the would....
they wanna try something new in life that they never experienced before.. they wanna experience new feelings

thats why its our job ... dont be soo nice.. be funny! ****y! impress her!... screw flowers.. show that ur confident and show her that U dont need to give her flower to like u..

u should only give flowers to your mother on mothers day or any occasions for your mother and only to your girl friend who stayed with you for 6 months or more then we see whats up

 

[El MonoLoco]

If my mother was alive...I would be giving flowers to her and not this chick or well now no one's getting flowers...

I gotta kick this nice guy crap to the curb.....I'm just not using it in the right way...


AFC me has got to go...


Thanks again guys for all the input.

 

[Docs]

Man, does anyone go with the joke of bringing her a single dandelion or something these days?

 

[sexy_kuta]

If my mother was alive...I would be giving flowers to her and not this chick or well now no one's getting flowers...

I gotta kick this nice guy crap to the curb.....I'm just not using it in the right way...


AFC me has got to go...


Thanks again guys for all the input.

no worries bro its natural.. its happening to me right now

best thing is dont get too obbsessed with her
keep it smooth,

like dont act like an ******* but be ****y and Once a while make fun of her a lil bit.. just light dont call her fat or anything.. if she did anything funny just make fun of her for that...
do alot i mean ALOT of flirting if u can,

everytime she phones pick up and be like "flying pizza, may i take your order" or funny lines that and try to squeeze a CHEESY pick up line once a while to make her laugh