Damn! Conscience or instinct?

[Lord Sidious]

Guys,

Here´s my story:

- lately, a women with whom I work, is showing much IoIs. Really! So, last week I told her that we should go have dinner together. She promptly said it was a good idea, and we settle that next Wednesday we would have dinner.

However, I´ve notice that she, and another coleague of mine (a great guy),who has girlfriend, are quite close. I´ve seen them lefting work together, seen them together in her car, etc. He´s a great guy, and today, while we were talking, he told me that he´s crazy about her. According to him, she is a bit undecided about geting involved with him, but she sends him (or answers back) many sms. He is thinking about the possibility of finishing a 6 year relation with his girlfriend, if she "gives him green light".

Of course I didn´t tell him of her interested on me and about the dinner.

Now, its obvious that I have a problem: - she shows high interest on me, we have a dinner settled. So, it´s a tricky situation. I just want to bang her (I can´t say already if she wants that also, or if she wants a real relationship with me), and honestely, right know I just don´t know if she is using him, or if she is interested on him, or if she doesn´t want anything with him and simply is interested on me.

Either way, after he told me that, I think it´s not to good to have dinner with her. He´s a great guy. If I bang her I guess it´s bad...! Even if have a physical relation with her, and if he doesn´t find out about it, I think it will be bad. Now, this is my conscience, but, by other way, she´s hot and there is another part of me that really wants to bang her...


So, guys, what do you think?



Thanks

 

[horaholic]

Dude, fvck that. Have dinner with her. The other guy doesnt matter. He has a girlfriend anyway. You do what YOU want. She is 100% fair game. The fact that he has a girlfriend gives you a go ahead. Besides, it sounds like you asked her out before he told you his feelings anyway. I would just be honest with him about it, right now. If in fact you asked her out BEFORE he told you his feelings, just focus on that point. Talk to him about it like a man, instead of going behind his back. He'll most likely understand, and will respect you for being real with him.

 

[catman]

Guys,

Here´s my story:

- lately, a women with whom I work, is showing much IoIs. Really! So, last week I told her that we should go have dinner together. She promptly said it was a good idea, and we settle that next Wednesday we would have dinner.

However, I´ve notice that she, and another coleague of mine (a great guy),who has girlfriend, are quite close. I´ve seen them lefting work together, seen them together in her car, etc. He´s a great guy, and today, while we were talking, he told me that he´s crazy about her. According to him, she is a bit undecided about geting involved with him, but she sends him (or answers back) many sms. He is thinking about the possibility of finishing a 6 year relation with his girlfriend, if she "gives him green light".

Of course I didn´t tell him of her interested on me and about the dinner.

Now, its obvious that I have a problem: - she shows high interest on me, we have a dinner settled. So, it´s a tricky situation. I just want to bang her (I can´t say already if she wants that also, or if she wants a real relationship with me), and honestely, right know I just don´t know if she is using him, or if she is interested on him, or if she doesn´t want anything with him and simply is interested on me.

Either way, after he told me that, I think it´s not to good to have dinner with her. He´s a great guy. If I bang her I guess it´s bad...! Even if have a physical relation with her, and if he doesn´t find out about it, I think it will be bad. Now, this is my conscience, but, by other way, she´s hot and there is another part of me that really wants to bang her...


So, guys, what do you think?



Thanks

Dont sleep with women u work with period!!!! For the record she likes him for a friend you shes just not sure Shes fair game but trust me it wont be worth it you might end up looking for a new job even???

 

[tosh]

First of all, you're a good guy. Good for you!

Here's how I would deal with it. I would tell him exactly what you've told us. You THINK she is showing you interest and you had arranged for a date. You're not sure exactly what she thinks of either of you, and you are mainly only interested in sex with her.

Then, you tell him you will hold off and let him decide what he really want for a few weeks. If he decides to go for it, then you can wait on the side to see how it goes. If he decides it's not worth the risk, you can swoop in for a ****.

I think he will appreciate the honesty.

 

[FreD_BeaR]

I think you should tell him what youve told us. But im all for going for what YOU want. So hes ' a great guy' is he? Hes debatting whether to break off a 6 yr relationship to be with this girl, IF she gives it the green light.... He dosnt sounds all that great. It sounds to me like she is just really close friends with him. He may be bored with his relationship, but that dosnt make it ok to start pursuing someone else behind your partners back.

I think you should still go out to dinner with her, and not act like anything is any different. Do what YOU want and dont bring him up when you talk to her.

 

[Lord Sidious]

I´ve slept with several women of my work. I´m a teacher, and I simply stay between 1 or 2 years in each school I pass. I only had one problem until now. So, I think I´ll risk it again. But I really apreciate your concern, buddy.

I would prefer that he didn´t tell me nothing. Her behaviours toward me begun several weeks ago, and the more I kept acting like a man and DJ, the more she showed her interest. She even told some things about me in his presence. I recall her saying "You´re always in my thougts, Fabio", "I´d love to smell your perfume, but you won´t let me", etc.

He wants a relation with her, and I simply want sex with her. That´s not the first time I deal with this kind of stuff, but I guess this time my conscience is bothering me...

I guess I´ll have dinner with her (if she´s still interested) and see how things develop.


Thanks,

Fabio

 

[Lord Sidious]

Guys,

Guess what?!

She didn´t show up. Lol!

I waited for about 30 min and then I simply left. However, I made a mistake that I surely won´t repete again: - in spite of knowing her for a while (at work), I didn´t got her phone number, so she hasn´t mine also. She can use that fact simply to came up with some made excuse such as "I couldn´t make it, and since I hadn´t your phone number I couldn´t warn you!".

However, she will have to face me tomorrow. She may indeed had some problem, but I had a feeling that this could happen! In fact I´m not upset at all! Nevertheless, I´ll ear what she has to say, and if she says she´s sorry, I´ll tell her "Never mind! Someone else dine at your place"! LOL

If she want´s to combine it for another day, maybe I´ll agree.

Maybe it was better this way, because I don´t fell bad about him.



Take care

 

[AMDG]

He´s a great guy.Thanks

He's just a guy involved with somebody else. He's about to branch-swing - what's so great about that ?

If she want´s to combine it for another day, maybe I´ll agree.

Have you not learned anything ?

In fact I´m not upset at all!

You are upset if you value yourself. Live and learn - you can be more than an ego fix for an AW who is testing waters with another man.

 

[Lord Sidious]

Today I went to my work. Like I said, she would have to confront me. Whenever I saw her, she was beside him. Guess what?! She even did not talked to me. She was compromised and simply made all efforts not to look at me (yeah, like a little girl).

Well, I guess that someday she will eventually say something, I just know what to say to her. I´ll be respectfull, but from now on I´ll simply ignore her and will treat her with all my indifference.

 

[goldStandard]

Well, I guess that someday she will eventually say something, I just know what to say to her. I´ll be respectfull, but from now on I´ll simply ignore her and will treat her with all my indifference.

Move on buddy. It's not worth it. We've all been through these learning experiences but if you want my advice:

1. Get over it! Women come and go.
2. During the dating stage no woman/girl is worth pouring emotions over. (If you give yourself HIGH VALUE that is)
3. Get your mind off of her. until you are actively doing other things like dating multiple women, working out, making money - she will be in your mind.
4. If you don't close @ the first attempt then get over it.

Did I mention to get over her?