Daddy issues epidemic and dating

Pandora

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I read somewhere on SS that the more Cosby show a women's upbringing is, the less problems you will have with her. I have noticed that women with a strong nuclear family background are more predictable in the dating process. In today's society finding a girl that had an intact nuclear family with a strong dad is sooo rare.

Good Father Figure:
1.) They dont tolerate disrespect for too long
2.) They will flake and **** test but its minimal
3.) If they dont truly like you, they will not lead you on just for attention. and validation.
4.) They know they are attractive and don't need men constantly confirming that
5.) The dating process is normal and somewhat predictable. It is straightforward.


Broken Home Girls:
1.) They need to be disrespected and need drama in order to keep their attention
2.) **** tests are always around the corner
3.) They will lead you on for attention and validation
4.) Constantly need to know they are attractive to men
5.) Dating process is not fun, its unpredictable, and dramatic
6.) They are 100% ruled by their emotions so their behavior is capricious

This leads me to wonder if men have just been going after the wrong type of girls. What if many of the problems on this board could be solved by just dating the girls that come from a traditional family background. I am not saying this is a Silver Bullet but i have just noticed that girls with good fathers make the courtship process more enjoyable becuz of their emotional predictability.
 
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Mauser96

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Good Post Pandora
 

Alvafe

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Pandora said:
I read somewhere on SS that the more Cosby show a women's upbringing is, the less problems you will have with her. I have noticed that women with a strong nuclear family background are more predictable in the dating process. In today's society finding a girl that had an intact nuclear family with a strong dad is sooo rare.

Good Father Figure:
1.) They dont tolerate disrespect for too long
2.) They will flake and **** test but its minimal
3.) If they dont truly like you, they will not lead you on just for attention. and validation.
4.) They know they are attractive and don't need men constantly confirming that
5.) The dating process is normal and somewhat predictable. It is straightforward.


Broken Home Girls:
1.) They need to be disrespected and need drama in order to keep their attention
2.) **** tests are always around the corner
3.) They will lead you on for attention and validation
4.) Constantly need to know they are attractive to men
5.) Dating process is not fun, its unpredictable, and dramatic
6.) They are 100% ruled by their emotions so their behavior is capricious

This leads me to wonder if men have just been going after the wrong type of girls. What if many of the problems on this board could be solved by just dating the girls that come from a traditional family background. I am not saying this is a Silver Bullet but i have just noticed that girls with good fathers make the courtship process more enjoyable becuz of their emotional predictability.

sure but remember, you most of time will not know much about the girl till you start to go out with her, its not like you can simple take a list of girl with a normal family and choose from it,
 

pdx1138

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Pandora, everything you said on those lists rings true in my experience.

With all the $hitty parenting / divorces the last few decades it's no wonder there is so much damaged merchandise out there.
 
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jonhaul

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im dating a woman with a tradtion family... So far so good the last gal she came from a different background she has issues and has already been pumped and dumped twice by two different men in a short period of time after she met me. Im just her friend now but damn shes riding the carousel.... Definately not a winner there.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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Pandora said:
I read somewhere on SS that the more Cosby show a women's upbringing is, the less problems you will have with her. I have noticed that women with a strong nuclear family background are more predictable in the dating process. In today's society finding a girl that had an intact nuclear family with a strong dad is sooo rare.

Good Father Figure:
1.) They dont tolerate disrespect for too long
2.) They will flake and **** test but its minimal
3.) If they dont truly like you, they will not lead you on just for attention. and validation.
4.) They know they are attractive and don't need men constantly confirming that
5.) The dating process is normal and somewhat predictable. It is straightforward.


Broken Home Girls:
1.) They need to be disrespected and need drama in order to keep their attention
2.) **** tests are always around the corner
3.) They will lead you on for attention and validation
4.) Constantly need to know they are attractive to men
5.) Dating process is not fun, its unpredictable, and dramatic
6.) They are 100% ruled by their emotions so their behavior is capricious

This leads me to wonder if men have just been going after the wrong type of girls. What if many of the problems on this board could be solved by just dating the girls that come from a traditional family background. I am not saying this is a Silver Bullet but i have just noticed that girls with good fathers make the courtship process more enjoyable becuz of their emotional predictability.
This brings up that nifty ol acronym NAWALT. The core is all the same, ruled by emotions. However, their DNA and upbringing (nature and nurture) do have a roll in who they are, I think it's ridiculous to say otherwise. But to what degree, who knows.

To add to your list, I find that a chick who grow up with a brother, in that nuclear family, are a lot less emotional then if she grew up with all sisters.
 

G_Govan

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I mostly agree with this post, but don't forget that the nuclear family wasn't just supported by one's family, but society at large.

We don't have that support anymore so don't be surprised if a woman you meet from a good family has a pump & dump history and a tendency toward attention whoring. There's only so much influence a family can have, our culture doesn't provide any back up.
 

Pandora

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Peaks&Valleys said:
To add to your list, I find that a chick who grow up with a brother, in that nuclear family, are a lot less emotional then if she grew up with all sisters.
Yes girls with older brothers seem a lot less emotionally unpredictable. They are chill.

Again im not saying that girls from good families are a utopia. But i have found that if you start gaming one and they end up not liking you, its becuz of an easily identifiable reason. They are not very confusing. They kinda know what they are looking for and its a strong normal male with a job etc.

Their dating histories are not littered with abusive relationships, abortions, promiscuity and other red flags.
 

backbreaker

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the real problem that men are having in dating is the lack of nuclear family. we have no one to teach us how to be men and we have no male father figures for women to look at to see how a man is supposed to act


every last real relationship i have had as an adult has been with a woman with a mom and dad at home. this coming from a guy whose father and mother got divorced at a young age. but **** i had to come here to know what a man is supposed to act like.

This leads me to wonder if men have just been going after the wrong type of girls. What if many of the problems on this board could be solved by just dating the girls that come from a traditional family background. I am not saying this is a Silver Bullet but i have just noticed that girls with good fathers make the courtship process more enjoyable becuz of their emotional predictability.


i figured out a long time ago the real ticket in all this is, the ability to find stable women in masse. that's the trick. to be able to consistantly find stable women who dont' have drug problems, like to party all the time, etc. they tend to come from 2 parent house holds.

if you have your **** together, they see you.

that's one of the reasons my hobby / passion (horse racing) plays a big factor in my success with women. most women who are into horse racing, into horses, have both parents. it costs money to be able to afford a horse for a daughter / horse riding lessons.
 
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Pandora

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backbreaker said:
i figured out a long time ago the real ticket in all this is, the ability to find stable women in masse. that's the trick. to be able to consistantly find stable women who dont' have drug problems, like to party all the time, etc. they tend to come from 2 parent house holds.

if you have your **** together, they see you.
very true man
 

Warrior74

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backbreaker said:
the real problem that men are having in dating is the lack of nuclear family. we have no one to teach us how to be men and we have no male father figures for women to look at to see how a man is supposed to act


every last real relationship i have had as an adult has been with a woman with a mom and dad at home. this coming from a guy whose father and mother got divorced at a young age. but **** i had to come here to know what a man is supposed to act like.





i figured out a long time ago the real ticket in all this is, the ability to find stable women in masse. that's the trick. to be able to consistantly find stable women who dont' have drug problems, like to party all the time, etc. they tend to come from 2 parent house holds.

if you have your **** together, they see you.

that's one of the reasons my hobby / passion (horse racing) plays a big factor in my success with women. most women who are into horse racing, into horses, have both parents. it costs money to be able to afford a horse for a daughter / horse riding lessons.

You didn't have that. I did. My father was a military man and tough as nails. I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone had a father at home. I find it hard to date women from broken homes. They just don't know how to follow. They don't even know how to be equal. They only know how to act out or try to dominate or both. The only girl I seriously dated from a stable family just like mine was easy to date until we went into a LDR. I can't take them seriously if they are from a broken home.
 

speed dawg

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Malcontent said:
I agree.

But even some who appear on the surface like the Cosbys really have some twisted sh!t going on behind the scenes.
Yeah but they are the small minority. I'll take those odds.

That's the problem with people today. Folks have too much free time on their hands, so instead of looking at an issue, thinking quickly, and moving on, they scour over the issue for f*cking ever and make over-thought decisions based on the exceptions, not the rule.
 

speed dawg

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backbreaker said:
every last real relationship i have had as an adult has been with a woman with a mom and dad at home. this coming from a guy whose father and mother got divorced at a young age. but **** i had to come here to know what a man is supposed to act like.
Wow, this is one of the very few backbreaker posts I actually agree with.
 
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Night-hawk

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I believe young men should be taught early on how the following aspects of a woman's biology and psychology shape and motivate them:

- menstrual cycle
- father/ family upbringing
- sexual involvement/ age
- brain chemistry on sex and intimacy/ commitment

And not just to learn it but understand it as preparation for future handling. Recognition (not just from past experience) is the fuel for foresight.

Earlier acceptance will require less denial and less pain(t) thinner to strip the illusions, misconceptions, etc.
 
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Desdinova

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backbreaker said:
we have no male father figures for women to look at to see how a man is supposed to act
Just to elaborate a bit on this idea...

Women are generally attracted to men who have traits similar to their father. When a woman has no father and no traits to compare (other than abandonment) she will consistently pick the most unstable men she can find.

Within the last couple of years, I've been keeping the "intact family" trait in mind when selecting women for potential LTRs. However, it doesn't mean that she's a diamond in the rough. She may have emotional baggage or fvcked up morals from experiences after she moved away from home. There's also the possibility that she came from a very toxic family, and her morals are messed up due to terrible parenting.

But your chances of finding a decent woman are going to be better if you attempt to pursue those whose families are still intact. I've NEVER had a good relationship with a woman who comes from separated parents.
 

speed dawg

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Desdinova said:
Women are generally attracted to men who have traits similar to their father.
....or, the exact opposite. I've seen this play out a good bit too.
 

Colossus

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I agree with the general theme here, but it's also worth considering her MOTHERLY influence. Mothers show their daughters how to act. Fathers are the regulators of all family behavior to some degree, but women tend to follow their mother's example in how they talk to men, deal with conflict, accept or dont accept responsibility, etc.

In other words, it starts with the father, but they will emulate their mother. If mom talked sh!t to dad and never respected his authority, well, guess who is going to have authority problems when she gets married. If mom cheated on dad and left him to find her haaapppiness....guess what example the daughter is likely to follow. If mom was a sarcastic cvnt to dad and others, and dad did nothing about it....you get the idea.

Family dynamics are complex and it's hard to apply any concrete rules that have global predictive ability. In GENERAL though, girls from households with loving fathers who lead and loving mothers who support dad and the kids are the best for dating in adulthood.
 

Night-hawk

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^ I totally agree. Let's not forget another dynamic as well, that of siblings and birth order.
 
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