Cut off now or keep things going?

[charlie647]

Ok fellas, I've been dating this girl for a couple of months now. I'm into her, but because of timing issues (very recently divorced, etc.) she's not ready to get serious. I get that. She wants to see what's out there, and I don't blame her.

So question - What gives me the best chance in the long-run:

Breaking things off completely for 6 months or so until she gets her feet under her, and then try and spark things back up?

Or - Keep things cool and simple, stay in touch here and there, hang out every now and again, spin more plates in the meantime, and see if she comes around?

Thanks in advance for the ideas!

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

There's not enough info here. How are things between you now?

It sounds like you tried to convince her to be more serious about you (Always a no-no from the male perspective), and then she backed off. Is this the case?

Does she no longer want to date you? Did she stop having sex with you? Sorry, man...but there's no backstory here. All I know is that you're trying to decide whether to ditch her totally or to keep her as an acquaintance.....but without more info, I couldn't tell you which is smarter.

Either way, you don't cut things off with a person for 6 months or so with hopes of re-connecting. Sometimes it might happen. But you certainly can't plan on it. If you're cutting contact, then you're doing it for the sake of moving on.

 

[charlie647]

Things have cooled over the past couple of weeks. We both have taken a step back. We hung out the other night and sex was fine, but that element of distance has crept in the relationship for sure. The contact between the times I see her is less frequent, and I feel the "connection" we had earlier is fading a bit.

I didn't try and convince her to be more serious, because of her situation I know it's not smart. I may have given her that vibe, however, and caused her to back off. To be honest, it's more her backing off than me, but I've been "mirroring" her actions and frequency of contact so not to act needy, desperate, or pressuring.

Does that help?

 

[terran2k]

stop trying to get chics into a relationship with you, let her try to get you into a relationship. it really makes them happy to try it.

 

[runner83]

Keep things cool and simple, stay in touch here and there, hang out every now and again, spin more plates in the meantime, and see if she comes around?

^ ^ I would do this. But make sure it doesn't lapse into the friend zone.

And remember, it is up to the girl to make first mention of a relationship.

As a guy, your job is keep yourself out there banging multiple chicks in the meantime.

 

[Badmannaz]

do exactly what she's doing and talk to other women...girls somewhat fall for guys who seem pre-occupied in something thats not them...it gives them a reason to chase you....but dont wait for her...its not gonna be good for you...cuz usually when a girl fades she gonna keep fading...adding another element to yourself is sometimes the only way for her to come back...and for you to see the relationship the way it really is...and who knows? you might meet a girl thats better than her and say forget this one! or she might see your hot commodity and want you more but dont give too much attention to her just fade off if she's acting like that..

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

And remember, it is up to the girl to make first mention of a relationship.

had to learn this one the hard way