Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Le Parisien said:
Dayum! Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Le Parisien said:Sorry for my blunt honesty my friend.
But you asked the exact same question more than 3 years ago here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=22507
And all you managed to accomplish in three and half years was passing from "chubby" to "morbidly obese"???
I think the very first thing you need is to get the huge determination to actually exercise regularly during a long time frame(you will probably need years to get in shape), before knowing whether you need to "cut or bulk first".:nervous:
Anyway, just to answer the question, of course you need to cut first, and right now!
FYI, I did attempt for about two years following that post to lose weight. I saw no results, got fed up, and quit my routine. I recently found out, however, that the reason I saw no results then was because I have a thyroid disease. I'm being treated for the condition now and my doc says that if I start a weight loss regimen now I should see more success than before.Sorry to hear that man.BuddhaSMASH said:Thanks for the words of encouragement.
As far as the cutting vs bulking question goes, I just simply forgot what the original answer was.
After working out and dieting for two ****ing years and gaining weight throughout the process...yeah I got frustrated and quit. I later found out that with the disease it was physiologically impossible for me to lose weight.stevey_2000 said:
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Let's pretend I was 195 at 7% bodyfat. Would I cut?hope7 said: