So here's the long and short...
My ex and I were together for two and half years. 18-20 months of which were great. Around the two year mark she turned 21, started dressing differently and going out pretty much every night. I got real insecure about it because I still loved her but I knew the breakup was coming inevitably. I started drinking more too and going out and would basically fight with her every time I got drunk. So, after a one or two months of this she tells me she kissed another guy. She begged, cried and pleaded for me not to leave her, and like an ass, I didn't. A month later she dumps me. I was pretty much numb the first month. I did the NC thing and she came back asking "How can you be over it so quick," and such. I broke NC and we ended up getting together to talk at my house. I made a move on her and we ended up having sex. The next day I told her I either wanted to get back together or not hear from her again. She said no and again, I went NC. So about 6 weeks later I broke NC and asked her to talk. She said no and I just left it at that. I was still pretty emotionally wrecked but I thought "That's it there's no hope just move on." BUT, two weeks later she asks to talk and to cuddle. I knew that meant sex so retardedly I said ok. This was last Sunday, October 16. She kept saying I love you and acted like she wanted to get back with me blah blah blah. When I told her AGAIN that it was either back together or nothing she tried to skirt around it by saying she can't be with an alcoholic and that she cares about me and would want to but can't because of that, which was obviously BS. So I said don't contact me. The next day she shows up at my house unannounced to "talk" and she tells me she actually f*cked the guy she said she kissed and she just felt so guilty about it. Well.... here's where I think I went overboard. I flipped out. I called her a selfish superficial insecure c*nt and that she obviously is a sociopath for trying to hurt me like this. She basically used me for an emotional tampon and sex the past two months, while I was holding out hope.
So I am currently back to NC but she won't stop texting and calling me. I only respond by saying stop contacting me and then ignore her. I am fully going NC and flushing any ideas of reconciliation out of my head.
I just want to know if I went overboard? Did I do the right thing? Obviously I should have stayed no contact but it's whatever at this point.
I'm just so torn up by all this that I started seeing a therapist and going to AA to quit drinking while I'm this depressed. (I don't really think I'm an alcoholic but I def can't be this depressed and drinking).
Some days I am ok, other days I feel like the worst **** in the world cause I screwed up with my one and only. I know this is all pretty normal after a breakup but I just need feedback. Am I f*cking crazy or is this girl an absolute mind f*ck?
My ex and I were together for two and half years. 18-20 months of which were great. Around the two year mark she turned 21, started dressing differently and going out pretty much every night. I got real insecure about it because I still loved her but I knew the breakup was coming inevitably. I started drinking more too and going out and would basically fight with her every time I got drunk. So, after a one or two months of this she tells me she kissed another guy. She begged, cried and pleaded for me not to leave her, and like an ass, I didn't. A month later she dumps me. I was pretty much numb the first month. I did the NC thing and she came back asking "How can you be over it so quick," and such. I broke NC and we ended up getting together to talk at my house. I made a move on her and we ended up having sex. The next day I told her I either wanted to get back together or not hear from her again. She said no and again, I went NC. So about 6 weeks later I broke NC and asked her to talk. She said no and I just left it at that. I was still pretty emotionally wrecked but I thought "That's it there's no hope just move on." BUT, two weeks later she asks to talk and to cuddle. I knew that meant sex so retardedly I said ok. This was last Sunday, October 16. She kept saying I love you and acted like she wanted to get back with me blah blah blah. When I told her AGAIN that it was either back together or nothing she tried to skirt around it by saying she can't be with an alcoholic and that she cares about me and would want to but can't because of that, which was obviously BS. So I said don't contact me. The next day she shows up at my house unannounced to "talk" and she tells me she actually f*cked the guy she said she kissed and she just felt so guilty about it. Well.... here's where I think I went overboard. I flipped out. I called her a selfish superficial insecure c*nt and that she obviously is a sociopath for trying to hurt me like this. She basically used me for an emotional tampon and sex the past two months, while I was holding out hope.
So I am currently back to NC but she won't stop texting and calling me. I only respond by saying stop contacting me and then ignore her. I am fully going NC and flushing any ideas of reconciliation out of my head.
I just want to know if I went overboard? Did I do the right thing? Obviously I should have stayed no contact but it's whatever at this point.
I'm just so torn up by all this that I started seeing a therapist and going to AA to quit drinking while I'm this depressed. (I don't really think I'm an alcoholic but I def can't be this depressed and drinking).
Some days I am ok, other days I feel like the worst **** in the world cause I screwed up with my one and only. I know this is all pretty normal after a breakup but I just need feedback. Am I f*cking crazy or is this girl an absolute mind f*ck?
