MotownMack
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2008
- Messages
- 373
- Reaction score
- 11
Nothing earth shattering here, nor am I terribly concerned about it. But the creativity of some on these forums never ceases to amaze me, so I always open my scenarios to the opinions of others.
Girl I was kinda FWBing last summer has remained friends, but we haven't seen each other for 8 months. We start out dating, but things just kind of fizzled--distance and busy schedules were a factor (she's about 50 minutes from me).
We both get along well and talk here and there, but rarely see each other. As far as a relationship goes, I think I'd call the IL relatively low on both sides.
We'd been playing phone tag for last week or so, and yesterday she calls. Well, I happen to know that every other Tuesday, her kids are with their Dad.
So at this point, a hook up isn't sounding too bad.
She's pretty stressed about some stuff, so I suggest my coming over and having a few drinks and hanging out. She's cool with it, and she's friendly enough, but she just doesn't sound like she's in a good place. We talk about some of the problems she is having briefly (but not too much), and someone how the topic moves to dates we've had, and the sex her and I were having.
Bottom line is this: She doesn't want to be up too late, and I wasn't driving an hour there and an hour back- just to hang out for an hour or two, unless I was getting some. I hadn't been to the gym in two days and that was bothering me, so I wasn't going to waste time unless I was fairly certain it was a sure deal.
When the subject of our past sexual activities came up, she laugh and made comments about things, so it wasn't exactly a cold approach. But at some point, I think I kidded around about her us hooking up, at which point she replied she was ragging and wasn't interested in sex at the moment (I said it like I was teasing, and she was not what I would call adamant,but resistive). I am not sure if she was raggin (it doesn't matter since this is now hypothetical), or this was token resistance, but I am pretty sure that if I was there, I could have eased into things. But I was not really willing to take the risk of driving out there, even if she had not been on her period, so I was kind of forward about it.
My question to you guys who might find yourself in this situation-you wouldn't mind seeing her and hooking up, but without the hook up, you're not really feeling it. Do you feel that the best approach is to be subtle, as not to raise ASD or token rejections-and then take your chances when you can work your game in person? Or would just come right out be forward about what you're expecting so as not to waste your time? Or I am expecting too much in this case to know whether or not it's a done deal?
(FYI- this girl has fairly liberal attitudes towards sex, and I have not be "friendzoned". But the end result was me more or less revoking the offer in a pleasant manner, saying it sounded like she had a lot to do. She was cool with that, and said we should go out for dinner soon, and we'd see where things go from there. Neither of us are looking for a relationship, at least not with each other).
Girl I was kinda FWBing last summer has remained friends, but we haven't seen each other for 8 months. We start out dating, but things just kind of fizzled--distance and busy schedules were a factor (she's about 50 minutes from me).
We both get along well and talk here and there, but rarely see each other. As far as a relationship goes, I think I'd call the IL relatively low on both sides.
We'd been playing phone tag for last week or so, and yesterday she calls. Well, I happen to know that every other Tuesday, her kids are with their Dad.
So at this point, a hook up isn't sounding too bad.
She's pretty stressed about some stuff, so I suggest my coming over and having a few drinks and hanging out. She's cool with it, and she's friendly enough, but she just doesn't sound like she's in a good place. We talk about some of the problems she is having briefly (but not too much), and someone how the topic moves to dates we've had, and the sex her and I were having.
Bottom line is this: She doesn't want to be up too late, and I wasn't driving an hour there and an hour back- just to hang out for an hour or two, unless I was getting some. I hadn't been to the gym in two days and that was bothering me, so I wasn't going to waste time unless I was fairly certain it was a sure deal.
When the subject of our past sexual activities came up, she laugh and made comments about things, so it wasn't exactly a cold approach. But at some point, I think I kidded around about her us hooking up, at which point she replied she was ragging and wasn't interested in sex at the moment (I said it like I was teasing, and she was not what I would call adamant,but resistive). I am not sure if she was raggin (it doesn't matter since this is now hypothetical), or this was token resistance, but I am pretty sure that if I was there, I could have eased into things. But I was not really willing to take the risk of driving out there, even if she had not been on her period, so I was kind of forward about it.
My question to you guys who might find yourself in this situation-you wouldn't mind seeing her and hooking up, but without the hook up, you're not really feeling it. Do you feel that the best approach is to be subtle, as not to raise ASD or token rejections-and then take your chances when you can work your game in person? Or would just come right out be forward about what you're expecting so as not to waste your time? Or I am expecting too much in this case to know whether or not it's a done deal?
(FYI- this girl has fairly liberal attitudes towards sex, and I have not be "friendzoned". But the end result was me more or less revoking the offer in a pleasant manner, saying it sounded like she had a lot to do. She was cool with that, and said we should go out for dinner soon, and we'd see where things go from there. Neither of us are looking for a relationship, at least not with each other).