"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Curing a hangover....

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,734
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Just curious as to some ideas for preventing or curing a hangover. I'm going on vacation in a month where I'll likely be getting fukked up at night but sightseeing all day long. I can't afford a hangover. My ideas are as follows:

1) Don't smoke
2) Down some Gatorade the next morning
3) Crackers and milk before you start drinking
4) Drink lots of water before bed
5) Pop alot of headache pills

Feel free to add to the list and share your own miracle cures for hangovers.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Fitch

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 6, 2004
Messages
585
Reaction score
2
speed dawg said:
Just curious as to some ideas for preventing or curing a hangover. I'm going on vacation in a month where I'll likely be getting fukked up at night but sightseeing all day long. I can't afford a hangover. My ideas are as follows:

1) Don't smoke
2) Down some Gatorade the next morning
3) Crackers and milk before you start drinking
4) Drink lots of water before bed
5) Pop alot of headache pills

Feel free to add to the list and share your own miracle cures for hangovers.
How about not drinking too much?

"If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen."
 

reyalp

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
598
Reaction score
1
Location
southern usa
Fitch said:
How about not drinking too much?

"If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen."
QFT

drink enough to get a buzz going, cap it off at that. 1 drink per hour maintenance after that point.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,734
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Fitch said:
How about not drinking too much
Not an option....looking for feasible ways to conquer a hangover on vacation....ie, I probably won't have access to cabbage or pickle juice...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Skilla_Staz

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2006
Messages
2,214
Reaction score
10
Age
37
Location
Omaha, Nebraska
I don't see the point in blasting yourself. I usually drink only if it tastes good. Seems pointless to me to get hammered just for the sake of getting hammered. Like mentioned above, if I get a buzz, I cut back a tad.
 

grr

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
224
Reaction score
0
Age
44
Location
Colorado
Drink water scaled to the volume of alcohol you drink. You get a hangover because you're dehydrated. You will lose your buzz because of water though, so don't drink it until right before you go to sleep and first thing after you wake up. Remember how much you'll have to piss because of this, so work the timing right.

Drinking water before sleep is more important than when you wake up. Water completely negates the effects of a hangover, in my experience.
 

reyalp

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
598
Reaction score
1
Location
southern usa
Fusel oils also play a VERY big role in hangovers. Not much you can do about those, except drink cleaner liquors (purest vodka or everclear you can find).

A buddy of mine used to make his own liquor from homebrew everclear and it was far and above the best stuff EVER. It was super pure and very much free of fusel oils.
I drank .5L of his 100 proof vodka in one night, woke up before anyone else and started jamming out a Pantera album very loud while I cleaned up the party mess. I felt fantastic, and I didn't drink any extra water, didn't eat anything while drunk, and didn't even throw up. I did require assistance to make it to my bedroom when I crashed out, which my blonde HB neighbor kindly obliqued.
I've had worse hangovers from a 6pk of Optimator than that vodka.

Oh, and HB was pissed about the Pantera at 9am thing, too. lol
 
Top