Crush on co-worker

[Tom81]

Yes, I developed a major crush on my co-worker. It's rediculous. I cannot sleep anymore, I wake up early or in the middle of the night and I think about her all the time. I feel like back in high school. It's like the first time in a long, long while, that I fell for a girl like this. Now, I heard plenty about the downsides of going out with a co-worker. The reason I write here is, because I am a big dufus when it comes to women and am in dire need of help.
Before I ask you the question "what do I do?", let me give you the gist of it.
I've been working with this girl for about a year. Up until August perhaps, she was in, what I think was a long-term relationship (though, I don't know how long it was). I had a little something for her before, but never followed through, because of the above fact. We've always been friendly with each other, except for the very beginning, where I hated her. We never got out of our ways to be nice to each other. That changed like a month ago, where we started to talk more. We started seeking each others proximity more. She started to drop by my office to say good-bye before she left work, or, even waited up on me, so we could leave together. Then we ended up talking for a good while outside in the cold. I thought I got a "vibe" from her, and I think she knew I had a crush on her, cause I think women notice stuff like that quickly. So, last week I asked, if she wanted to go have a drink after work some time, to which she replied affirmitively. But ever since, I feel like she distances herself from me, I don't get the "vibe" anymore; all of a sudden it's back to square one it seems and I don't get it. Yes, I asked her out, but come on-- it's not that weird if colleagues have a drink together. Yesterday I asked her when she has time, and she said not this week but next week maybe and that we can play it by ear. It didn't sound like she didn't want to go, but still, I wonder why she puts this distance between us all of a sudden. To which I react with distancing myself, as well. And it sucks.
Anyways, why does she distance herself now? Did she just wanna be friends? Is going out having a drink not a very normal thing to do, even if she wanted to be just friends? I kept things light, made her laugh, so whats going on? Any advice?
Thanks.

 

[backbreaker]

while i'm quite sure this isn't what you want to hear


http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=188414

 

[Tom81]

Thanks dude, I'll be reading this later on.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

It sounds like you're getting the brush off. I wouldn't bother with this one any further. You must also include your age in your profile to post in this forum.

 

[Desdinova]

I developed a major crush on my co-worker. It's rediculous. I cannot sleep anymore, I wake up early or in the middle of the night and I think about her all the time.

Congratulations. You have one-itis. It's a disease where you focus all your energy on one woman and become infatuated with her. One-itis causes you to do stupid things such as...

I heard plenty about the downsides of going out with a co-worker.

And yet you still want to stick your d1nk in the company ink. You're already seeing one of the problems from trying to do this...

So, last week I asked, if she wanted to go have a drink after work some time, to which she replied affirmitively. But ever since, I feel like she distances herself from me, I don't get the "vibe" anymore; all of a sudden it's back to square one it seems and I don't get it.

Obviously, this is already making things difficult in the workplace. You're trying to deal with your emotions because she's become unresponsive. Your work is going to suffer and your relationship with her has been put into an awkward position.

Yesterday I asked her when she has time, and she said not this week but next week maybe and that we can play it by ear.

When a woman is interested, she will make the time. She's putting it off because she's not interested in pursuing ANYTHING with you.

I wonder why she puts this distance between us all of a sudden.

She is not the one to blame. YOU are the one who decided to risk making the relationship awkward by asking her out. Now you have to deal with it.

Do the both of you a favor and keep your dating life separate from your work life.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

You're on a steaming train to frustration-ville.

Do your best to let it go.

You're the man after all. There are plenty of other women out there -- outside of work -- whom you could really connect with -- and without the collateral damage.

If something randomly developed and grew, that is one thing; but you are focusing too much on this and it's just going to be a constant distraction for you -- and a source of pain.

Realize the fact you are co-workers may have something to do with her apprehension too. It may not be so personal.

And understand women definitely love attention, my god, so her motives for visiting you at your desk, etc, could be multi-faceted.

Everything will work out -- release her from your thoughts -- don't give her that power over your psyche.

 

[letsplay]

I'm in a similar situation and frustrationwille is where I live. Stupidest thing I've ever put myselve into. She knows how I feel about her but nothing ever was and nothing will ever be between us (her words). I made it akward for her and me to work together. This shyt affects both of you and even this (in my situation) hurts you more you have to think of both sides. In this post I see she doesn't seem interested in you so... move on. I'm having trouble moving on. Right now I'm totally ignoring her, trying to focus on my work and hoping that time will eventualy wear off this gut wrenching feeling or I meet someone new. Worst thing I hate myselve for is that now I'm really having trouble to be friends with her while she's a really cool person and did nothing wrong to deserve this ignoring from a work coleque. I'ts eating me slowly from day to day. I've been reading that topic "women at work" but I don't know the conclusion. Some say it's bad some say they are ok with that... i say it's too much risk... Advices by more expirienced have been writen so best is to follow them.