Critique my approach

[hoopinc10]

Last night i was at a club for new years. I'm usually very shy and have a hard time approaching, but finally last night got up enough courage to approach a girl. Seeing how I don't do it a lot I figured I'd tell ya'll what happened and see if you all could say what I did right, wrong, and what I can do to have better success.

I'm walking through the club looking for a girl I find attractive to approach. I see this very pretty girl standing alone with her friend and decide I'm going to go in. I walk over to her and the conversation is as follows:

Me: Hey, could you help me out with something?
Her: huh?
Me: I said could you help me out with something?
Her: What?
Me: I been wanting to come over and talk to you, but I didnt know wat to say to a beautiful girl like u.
her: (just smirks and doesn't know how to respond)
Me: U don't know? Well can I introduce myself?
her: yeah
Me: I'm Chris, what's your name? (we shake hands)
Her: Carmen
Me: O ok, well u having fun tonight Carmen?
Her: Yea
Me: yea me too, this is pretty nice. So you from here.
Her: Yeah, south side
Me: Oh ok, me too, but I'm only gonna be here for a few more weeks, I'm in school right now at U of I. U in school?
Her: Yea I go to roosevelt.
As she's saying that, the lights start coming on so I decide it's time to close
Me: well hey, I see this is ending, and I'd like to hang out wit you again, do u think I could get your number?
her: Nah, I could take yours though.
me: (looking at her reluctantly) Ok
(I give it to her and she puts it in her phone)
me: alright then, it was nice meeting you
her:you too

That's it so, if you can, pleas let me know what you think and how i could improve, I's really appreciate it!

 

[hoopinc10]

i feel you man, thanks for the advice!. Just for the record though, it wasn't like she wasn't being receptive. I dunno if you can tell that from what I wrote, but like at first she didn't hear what I asked, that y she said huh. Also, she seemed like she sincerely wanted to help me with whatever i was gonna ask her to help her with, not like she was like ready to shut me down before i even continued with my approach. But yea hopefully in the future, i can continue to have the courage to approach so i can get better.

 

[hoopinc10]

bump

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Make sure you listened to what I just told you... Don't approach a woman in a crowd or even with a friend, you need to be subtle..

This is bad advice for the bar/club scene. In the bar/club scene its a lot more about physical attraction/ superficial sense of rapport that you create by your overall appearance and the strength of your approach.

The only subtle thing to take note of at bars/clubs or even parties is the girl's BL (body language) and her proximity to you. Most girls are very direct in their body language, but will obviously wait for the guy to approach. You need to learn to read the buying signals to increase your chance of success.

The subtle approach works wonders when you see a girl on a regular basis because it separates you from the rest of the guys.

PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Last night i was at a club for new years. I'm usually very shy and have a hard time approaching, but finally last night got up enough courage to approach a girl. Seeing how I don't do it a lot I figured I'd tell ya'll what happened and see if you all could say what I did right, wrong, and what I can do to have better success.

First off congrats on taking the first step in over coming your fear. Keep approaching consistently and soon you'll naturally become a better conversationlist and start closing!


I'm walking through the club looking for a girl I find attractive to approach. I see this very pretty girl standing alone with her friend and decide I'm going to go in. I walk over to her and the conversation is as follows:

Me: Hey, could you help me out with something?
Her: huh?
Me: I said could you help me out with something?
Her: What?
Me: I been wanting to come over and talk to you, but I didnt know wat to say to a beautiful girl like u.

Okay you asked for advice and I'm gonna be honest: this was probably one of the WORST things you could've said to a girl on a approach right off the baat. Why? If she's hot, she knows it and you haven't separated yourself from the crowd. The fact that you wrapped it in a cheezy as hell pick up line made you look more like a clown than anything else. It was GAME OVER right here.

Next time walk up and be a little more perceptive. Maybe she has a cool necklace on or an interesting watch. Noticing and asking her about that would have been way better. Reason being it makes you stand out, your taking some time to try to get to know her and see if you two vibe and your building COMFORT!

her: (just smirks and doesn't know how to respond)

Me: U don't know? Well can I introduce myself?
her: yeah
Me: I'm Chris, what's your name? (we shake hands)
Her: Carmen
Me: O ok, well u having fun tonight Carmen?
Her: Yea
Me: yea me too, this is pretty nice. So you from here.

Wow this is the most boring conversation I've ever heard! So generic, its like hamburgers at a BBQ. Again your not doing ANYTHING to stir her emotions, at this point you are the 10th guy in the night to walk up to this chick trying to pick her up with bad lines and no conversation skills.

Her: Yeah, south side
Me: Oh ok, me too, but I'm only gonna be here for a few more weeks, I'm in school right now at U of I. U in school?
Her: Yea I go to roosevelt.
As she's saying that, the lights start coming on so I decide it's time to close

Its still good that you went for the close, because you never know. However numbers don't mean much. Some girls give out their numbers so you'll leave them alone, others give them out and might have been somewhat interested but not enough to want to see you again.

As you get better you'll learn when to eject in a dead end approach.


Me: well hey, I see this is ending, and I'd like to hang out wit you again, do u think I could get your number?

Strike 3! I say that not because she said "no," but because of the way you went for the close. When you get a girl's number; literally TELL HER to give it to you or hand your phone to her and have her punch it in. When you "ask her" it sub-communcates that she is above you and you are privelged to have her number. Not the message you want to send to a hot girl.

Also you were only with her for a couple minutes before you went for the close and had 0 rapport built; it was easy to see she was going to say no unless she was very physically attracted to you.


her: Nah, I could take yours though.
me: (looking at her reluctantly) Ok
(I give it to her and she puts it in her phone)
me: alright then, it was nice meeting you
her:you too

That's it so, if you can, pleas let me know what you think and how i could improve, I's really appreciate it!

Like I said; congrats on approaching that takes ballz. Now keep on approaching and learn from your mistakes here. If you stay consistent with this you'll be progessing in no time.






PIMP

 

[hoopinc10]

thanks man! thats exactly what i was looking for! I'll fix up my mistakes on my next try...whenever that happens

 

[omega05]

urbana?

 

[hoopinc10]

yup urbana