Criticism On the cold approach.

[AlexParadox]

So please feel free to argue with me
But cold approaching is POINTLESS

lets just look at the first scenario:

girl is minding her own business when out of no where some random guy approaches her and starts talking. Now this situation could head in SO MANY different ways. She has a boyfriend, shes pissed, bad mood, lesbo, or things may go well and the guy may land one.

second scenario:

girl is minding her business, when she notices a guy checking her out. Judging on how he looks/carries himself/acts she decides that she likes this guy. This leads to this girl to sending signs of interest to this guy. Guy picks up signs of interest, approaches and the situation is narrowed down to: guy ****s up (too shy, too awkward, etc.), or lands a number.

First scenario is a cold approach, second is more of a... opportunity approach. Now unless i do not fully understand the definition of a cold approach, but why go through all the trouble of a cold approach, when you can eliminate many possibilities by watching for possible signs of interest?

Girls are quite aware of there surroundings and unless you dont know how to carry yourself, Im pretty sure the fact she ISNT sending signs of interest is a bad sign!

now of course you can go cold approach, but why risk a higher chance of rejection?

 

[ketostix]

First scenario is a cold approach, second is more of a... opportunity approach. Now unless i do not fully understand the definition of a cold approach, but why go through all the trouble of a cold approach, when you can eliminate many possibilities by watching for possible signs of interest?

I consider both a cold approach. Anytime you approach a girl you don't know and without any third party you both know introducing you is a cold approach in my book.

Girls are quite aware of there surroundings and unless you dont know how to carry yourself, Im pretty sure the fact she ISNT sending signs of interest is a bad sign!

Well the problem is a girl doesn't always send signs even if she's interested and on top of that she might not even know she's interested in you until you approached her. She might think something corny like, "Oh wow, he's so confident boldly approaching me like that.." and be attracted. Besides that, a girl can give you all kinds of approach invitation signs but that doesn't mean you have her if you approach, although you probably have a better chance of getting far which I think was your point. However, just because she doesn't give you signs doesn't mean your chances are necessarily lower.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

because it's better to have a chance than no chance. im tired of these fvckin threads. its always people who haven't even put an honest effort into getting good at cold approaching that say this. it's the same as if you never went to the gym or you went for a month and then you said weightlifting doesn't work.

 

[Bawb14]

I cold approach all the time.... why are you saying it doesn't work.... it's like pointing to water and saying matter only exists in solid or gaseous form....

 

[ready123]

I consider both cold approaches too

if you just do the second, you're gonna miss out on a lot of interactions that would've gone well anyway. a lot of girls are just preoccupied and give off a cold vibe because of it - it doesn't have anything to do with you. but do a cold approach and bring them into your frame and they totally 180, it's cool to watch

and in the first case, if she's not in the mood or doesn't like you, you'll know within the first 30 secs and can move on

part of getting over approach anxiety is not giving a sht whether or not some girl who doesn't wanna take the time to get to know you rejects you. threads like these are just trying to avoid rejection because the OP still has approach anxiety. reality is, rejection is some of the best feedback out there

 

[Ixnys]

Part of the pursuits of life imo is to be able to make any opportunity you might have wanted occur. If you can reach the level of being able to cold approach and pick up a girl you find attractive you're on the right path to becoming the master of your destiny.

 

[Rounder]

How many times have you seen someone that you made a negative judgement about them once you started talking to them you really liked them?

Don't tell me that hasn't happened because it's happened to all of us.

Couldn't this happen prior to an approach as well? Perhaps you're not receiving any signals from her and you might consider that bad but maybe she has other things on her mind at the moment? Bills that need to be paid, how her friend's boyfriend is treating her friend, and on and on.


All women love to have men talk smooth to them - even the ones in a relationship who won't cheat usually won't pass up a fun conversation. If you push yourself on them and make them feel uneasy then they might be bothered.


Or you can look at it like this -

No approach = 0% chance of getting a type of close

Cold approach = 5% chance of getting a type of close AND you get a bit more practice talking to women

So what benefits YOU more?


What are you "risking" anyway? The chance of her saying no? You might want to lift up your skirt and make sure your balls are still there.
Not like you have to pay $5 for each cold approach you make.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

its a lot more than 5% too. i'm pretty new at cold approaching and i numberclose at least 1/5 girls i approach .i approach pretty indiscriminately i approach groups, women who are 5-10 years older than me (i'm 19), girls who look like fvckin models, etc. if i chose easier targets i'd be closing 75% of them

 

[Rounder]

its a lot more than 5% too. i'm pretty new at cold approaching and i numberclose at least 1/5 girls i approach .i approach pretty indiscriminately i approach groups, women who are 5-10 years older than me (i'm 19), girls who look like fvckin models, etc. if i chose easier targets i'd be closing 75% of them

I was being conservative with 5% and simply making a point. 5% is huge compared to 0%.

Even if you're a troll with warts all over your face you might only have 0.001% of getting a close but after enough attempts you WILL get a close.

Ever see Dumb and Dumber? At the end of the movie Lauren Holley says "more like 1 in a million" - and Jim Carrey says "So you're saying there's a chance, YEAH!"

 

[r0cky]

I can see how you can come to this conclusion. Frankly, I dont think cold approaching is something you need to do at your age. !6 is very young and the girls you approach, who are most likely around your age, will be very weirded out by it since they dont have many years of experience being approached.

As they get older, girls are cold approached a lot, specially the beautiful ones who are probably cold approached at least once a day every day since they turned 18.

At your age I would suggest you stick to approaching social circle targets, or targets who are giving you approach opportunities (the technical term is approach invitation or AI).

 

[AlexParadox]

I can see how you can come to this conclusion. Frankly, I dont think cold approaching is something you need to do at your age. !6 is very young and the girls you approach, who are most likely around your age, will be very weirded out by it since they dont have many years of experience being approached.

As they get older, girls are cold approached a lot, specially the beautiful ones who are probably cold approached at least once a day every day since they turned 18.

At your age I would suggest you stick to approaching social circle targets, or targets who are giving you approach opportunities (the technical term is approach invitation or AI).

out of all the replies, this was probably the one that hit home. A few of you accused me of not even trying. Trust me, i have done cold approaches, but in the long run i find that catching on to any sign of interest for girls my age benefits me majorly.

i totally agree, i think its more of an age thing. Cuz ive done a few random approaches to girls my age and ive gotten the weirdest looks.

Thanks for the input guys (the good and the bad)

 

[Snow Plowman]

WTF!?

I have a wing that is 17...no excuses...

High School was child's play compared NOW...if I was to go back to high school...I'm 100% sure I'd have laid all the chicks that were ****able in one school year...

I've come too far to hear a post where guys are complaining about there age, looks, cold approaching, etc...get out there...

Also Game isn't something you do so stop saying it doesn't work...You are the game...

 

[DonJuan11]

now of course you can go cold approach, but why risk a higher chance of rejection?

You are making absolutely no sense. The girl is not going to get weak knees and sleep with you because you cold approach. Have something in common with her, make her laugh, make her forget her problems, make her forget her boyfriend, make her forget her work, make her just excited to be alive and be talking to you.

You are so concerned about your ego and self worth. The universe does revolve around her or you.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

out of all the replies, this was probably the one that hit home. A few of you accused me of not even trying. Trust me, i have done cold approaches, but in the long run i find that catching on to any sign of interest for girls my age benefits me majorly.

i totally agree, i think its more of an age thing. Cuz ive done a few random approaches to girls my age and ive gotten the weirdest looks.

Thanks for the input guys (the good and the bad)

so you did a few cold approaches and failed and therefore you concluded that it's an age thing.. ok...

have you put forth an honest effort to get good at cold approaches? i don't mean doing ten and giving up... i mean actually trying to get good at it by going out in field a lot and sarging.

not that at your age you have to, but if you want to bash cold approaching then you should at least have experiences to back up your claim. im not surprised that post was the one that hit home for you, its the only one that rationalizes not approaching. the idea that 16 yr old girls cant be approached is also just theory that the guy thought of, high school girls are actually very easy to approach if you do it in a playful and confident way

 

[r0cky]

WTF!?

I have a wing that is 17...no excuses...

High School was child's play compared NOW...if I was to go back to high school...I'm 100% sure I'd have laid all the chicks that were ****able in one school year...

I've come too far to hear a post where guys are complaining about there age, looks, cold approaching, etc...get out there...

Also Game isn't something you do so stop saying it doesn't work...You are the game...

You don't know what you're talking about. Maybe high school was dfferent back in your day, or you were homeschooled.
At 15 - 16 girls are still immature and their responses to cold approaching are most often to reject the guy.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

You don't know what you're talking about. Maybe high school was dfferent back in your day, or you were homeschooled.
At 15 - 16 girls are still immature and their responses to cold approaching are most often to reject the guy.

But what was so weird was that of some of the girls who i cold approached who turned out to be 15-16(Was shocked), I didn't get rejected from them. They showed pretty good interest. Yes, some girls are immature and reject because its a knee jerk reaction and don't know how to react, but who's to say, MOST will reject? Try approaching 25 girl who are under 18 and see how many reject you. lol

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

I can see how you can come to this conclusion. Frankly, I dont think cold approaching is something you need to do at your age. !6 is very young and the girls you approach, who are most likely around your age, will be very weirded out by it since they dont have many years of experience being approached.

As they get older, girls are cold approached a lot, specially the beautiful ones who are probably cold approached at least once a day every day since they turned 18.

At your age I would suggest you stick to approaching social circle targets, or targets who are giving you approach opportunities (the technical term is approach invitation or AI).

Rocky, I agree he prolly doesn't have to cold approach, BUT if he wants to...why should he not? How do u know MOST will reject him? Weirded out =/= rejection. There have been some women who were weirded out when i went up to them, NOT because they didn't like me...it was because it was something they didn't expect. As i kept persisting, they relaxed more. weirded out is just a knee jerk reaction. Think about it, if there was a hot girl that went up to u...wouldn't u find it weird because it rarely happens? Its not that u don't like her...its that it doesn't happen much and ur not sure what she wants until u know that she does indeed like u to where u aren't anymore.

If she is weirded out and doesn't like you, then she'll say no. If she doesn't say no, then don't even give a damn if they give a weird reaction. Be unreactive if they don't flat out reject u. Also, them not getting approached much is an ADVANTAGE. When girls are reaching high school, they want to be swept off their feet by a guy when they least expect it. Rocky, most girls DO NOT get cold approached alot during the day. Some will get "Hit on" but not flat out approached confidentally. I've seen how most guys do it. They'll talk to her from the side, rather than actually go up to her. Rarely does a guy just flat out go up to her directly, facing her confidentally and smiling confidentally. Hell, in the cafeteria, i just saw two different "approaches" where one the guy didnt' even go up to the girl he wanted, it was a salad bar and they were in opposite sides and he was just talking to her that way. The other was that a girl was walking by and he was talking to her as she was on her way from the side. Now tell me u call those "actual" approaches.

Most guys can't approach a super fine girl during the day. They are more likely to at night because of liquid courage. At night, what are the chances a guy who goes up to girls is sober. very unlikely. So then if they have trouble w/o alcohol during the night time, how do u expect them to do it during the day where they're affected by social conditioning? I rest my case.

 

[Snow Plowman]

You don't know what you're talking about. Maybe high school was dfferent back in your day, or you were homeschooled.
At 15 - 16 girls are still immature and their responses to cold approaching are most often to reject the guy.

What??? I just recently graduated High School a year ago...saying cold approaching doesn't work is saying that chicks are anti social robots who don't like men...

GAME is YOU...not some stupid formula...saying a dude can't get laid approaching a 16 year old chick is saying that teenagers don't have sex...

Do you even understand fully what is going on when your interacting with a chick and how she is getting attracted and how she is seeing your personality the whole time?

Look beyond the fuking verbals, methods and routines...look deeper...

Also go in the field...when I was in high school I was nothing but BT spiker...I'd get chicks in state and just escalate...I pulled a good amount, if I was how I am now I would've ran through majority of the hot chicks in my school...I was overqualified at the time...

Age is just a #...like I said I have a wing who is 17 he lays chicks his age and older...he madeout with a 35 year old...before he started hanging with me he was getting with chicks in his high school...by time he goes into college he will be a pretty social guy.

The reason I was interested in cold approach was because when I was 13 I used to watch my cousin who was 16 go to the mall meeting ****loads of chicks...by the age of 19 he had 28+ lays...you think I would rationalize cold approaching as not doable even if I never found this community...HELL NO because I seen my cousin do it at that age, and I did it in my last year of high school...I had a social circle full of lesbians and bi-sexuals...16 year olds using strap ons and all sorts of sh!t...majority of these girls you'd never even know they were bi, heck you'd think some of them were virgins...

I just ranted here...because I know what I went through, I seen stuff personally with my own eyes and I used to cold approach in high school...so saying that you won't get anything from cold approaching in high school is so far outside my reality...especially with how I am now, I'm 100% sure that it's possible to cold approach ANYWHERE...

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Thank You Snow Plowman! Gentleman stop assuming u'll get rejected UNLESS u consistently go out there and practice