Cried in front of her..

[Pozitron]

So I don't know why it happens to me but whenever we get in a tough fight.. in a serious argument.. over something concerning me and her, our relationship.. I cry.
I cried yesterday.. when something like this happened..
Maybe I feel the need to make myself understood and I believe I'm not.
Maybe I want to solve the problem but I just don't have the time cause she has to go home.. and I know that afterwords she's gonna be at her house I at mine and something is still there..
Maybe I believe that all these fights are bad and I get the feeling that they make the things between us a little colder than before..
I have her seeing me cry.. but I don't know what to do about it.
If I cut my hand or get hurt, physically I don't shed a tear. But if there is emotional matter involved.. if it's about me and the girl I love damn man..
And I really regret it.. that she sees me this way. I don't think it's good. The last thing in the world I would want is her having pity.

It's something serious now.. what can I do?

 

[Vidrio]

Cried as in a couple of tears came down, or cried as in boo-hooed?

 

[zenaddict]

being emotionally fvcked up by a relationship is okay, because our species never had a long term mating strategy, ltr`s and marriages are the inventions of modern society

if you can`t take her bs, leave her, half of the population of this planet is female, you can find somebody better if you really want to

 

[Pozitron]

Sometimes just a tear or two.. wet eyes.. other times like yesterday more than that.

I don't wanna live her. I wana fix this in myself

 

[R.C]

You have to stop.I don't care what it takes. Slap yourself or bite your lip. Hit a fcking wall , do anything that allows you to discard the emotional stress , just don't cry in front of her.

Maybe I feel the need to make myself understood and I believe I'm not.
Maybe I want to solve the problem but I just don't have the time cause she has to go home.. and I know that afterwords she's gonna be at her house I at mine and something is still there..
Maybe I believe that all these fights are bad and I get the feeling that they make the things between us a little colder than before..
I have her seeing me cry.. but I don't know what to do about it.
If I cut my hand or get hurt, physically I don't shed a tear. But if there is emotional matter involved.. if it's about me and the girl I love damn man..

I can relate to this perfectly as I went through these kinds of things with my ex. However , I was lucky enough to observe my best friend's 2year relationship. He would cry in front of his girl , like you. She would always mellow down , get sad , and say to him "I hate myself when I make you cry , I'm so sorry". However , as time went by he would cry more than she did. Eventually , she stopped crying in front of him all together while he continued to do just that. Eventually , it hit him:

"What the fck is wrong with you ? You cry more than any women I've ever seen in my life.I can't have any form of arguement with you without you braking down in tears ? What kind of a man are you ?"

She had lost respect for him ,bit by bit , tear by tear.

Personally , I never cried for anything and anyone in my entire life (except when I was a kid,obviously).Yet still , when my ex would **** me up emotionally , I would at times brake.Suffice to say that my friends' experience was motivation enough for me to do whatever it took to control myself. Granted, I couldn't do it every single time , but I tried like my life depended on it. It gets easier once you learn to master it. The first few steps are the hard ones.


Other than that , I have many girl friends. Every single one of them makes fun of their 'cry-baby' exes. Well,some of those are exaggerated stories when the guy would cry for them after they've been together for only one month , but still , it's something you're better off avoiding.


I really hope , for your sake , you understand the importance of this matter.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think the "mother" issue comes into play in this. The woman triggers something inside of you that relates to your relationship with your mother. You just need to remain conscious of the situation and fight it with all your might. Excuse yourself (I need to go and think about things), but don't do it in front of her again. It WILL go away with practice. It seems like it can't possibly, but it will.

 

[Darth]

Two things:

1. Long-term, this is symptomatic of unresolved childhood problems, probably related to your parents you might want to address.
2. Short-term, actually crying in front of a girl=very bad. If you can postpone that until she's not around, I would very highly recommend it.

There was a great post on here awhile back. It went something like this: As the man, you are the pilot of an airplane. So when you complain to a girl about the problems you had that day (or in this case cry in front of her), that is like the pilot of the airplane saying, "There are too many clouds! It's going to be really hard to land now! I wish we had chosen a different route!"

Now obviously the pilot knows everything is going to be fine, but if he announces that over the loudspeaker, all the passengers are gonna freak out.

 

[Pozitron]

Thank you, guys! The situation passed tbut the matter stands nonetheless.
I will do everything I can not to find myself in that situation ever again.

R.C I hear you. I don't want pitty and I sure don't want her to lose respect for me. SO I think I'll learn from your friend's situation like you did.

I really home it goes away, Atom Smasher, cause I'll practise all right!

 

[zinc4]

Thank you, guys! The situation passed tbut the matter stands nonetheless.
I will do everything I can not to find myself in that situation ever again.

R.C I hear you. I don't want pitty and I sure don't want her to lose respect for me. SO I think I'll learn from your friend's situation like you did.

I really home it goes away, Atom Smasher, cause I'll practise all right!

Don't ever cry over a stupid argument...and certainly never let her see you cry over this...it makes you look like a simpleton and a weakling...it's just an argument with your GF man put things into perspective here...it's one thing if your beloved pet or a family member passes away and you cry....but crying over an argument with your GF.......no woman will respect that...don't ever let her see this again....it is very bad for you situation to do so.

Don't ever even tear up in front of her over such silly things...she will lose respect and honestly, no offense, but she should. A an shouldn't cry over an argument with his GF...never...

You need to get to the bottom of this and figure out what exactly is making you cry...lack of toughness...fear of losing her...maybe her being the only person in your life...motherhood issues..ect...and then you should try to conquer it.

 

[gravityeyelids]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9iJh1pGwag

 

[Fatal Jay]

come on brah, are you really crying fo real, stop that dude, like for real man up.

 

[Mike32ct]

I like Atom Smasher's advice.

You don't want to cry in front a female. Only do it in private if you must. Women AREN'T these supportive, empathic, caring creatures that you might think they are, except for your own mother. The other 99.9999 percent of women will never understand or give a flying F about what pain some men face.

As a somewhat emotional guy myself, here is my best advice for you. Get enough sleep. This is CRITICAL. The few times I cried or came close to it was when I was REALLY over-tired. (Alcohol also makes it worse.). It's easy to get overly emotional if you aren't getting enough sleep.

 

[backseatjuan]

Male FEMINISM is when dudes imitate women. I added you to black list.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Male FEMINISM is when dudes imitate women. I added you to black list.

WTF?? :crackup:

 

[bigneil]

I can remember two crying incidents where women found out:

1) When I was leaving my favorite city and favorite girl of all time 10 years ago and moving hundreds of miles away for a new job, I tried my hardest not to but as I was sitting next to her on her couch after packing my UHaul I shed a single tear (on her side). She made love to me for the entire night and it was probably the best sex I ever had. We stayed close for 5 more years.

2) When a job fell through over a patent dispute in the middle of a relocation 2 years ago, I had to detour over one thousand miles in a UHaul and then move in to a new temporary apartment. Worst thing I ever went through by far. I told my then gf (via text) that after I finished unpacking I cried as my cat comforted me. And she replied "Why are you crying? Crying is for girls - you need to be strong enough for both of us!". I thought she was a DB for saying that after what I had just been through. And I was right: 2 months later when we broke up she said "Are you going to CRY now?" (I did not).

Note that both cases involved my first physically moving everything I owned so men crying might be related to exhaustion. (EDIT - I see now that Mike32ct pointed this out also).

Real men aren't afraid to admit that they sometimes cry, but crying in front of a girl is generally a really unattractive thing to do.