"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Creepy old chick at work

Kirro

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So I work at a retail store in NYC. Everyday is some kind of drama whether its customers, fellow employees or the weather itself...

So there's this old chick, she's shop steward which is a relatively high position, she's either black or mixed(with mostly black features), she has a ridiculously large booty & this being NYC, herein lies the problem. Now when I call her an old woman, I'm 20 & she must be somewhere between 45-55 however there are no missing teeth, no receding hairline or walking on a crutch however IMO the days of her sexual worth a LONG gone.

This chick loves to complain, whine & gossip(which is typical), I don't subscribe to that kind of company for long, some of her comments can be funny but after a while it is overbearing, the fact that she's loud, controlling & confrontational puts her in a position of pseudo dominance which only adds to the problem.

She literally has a problem with nearly everyone except myself & one of my managers. We're both young black men, he's 24, he's in good shape, intelligent, knows his work & commands respect from those around him. Now before she would grab my waist & squeeze it. Then she escalated to rubbing my stomach, which then led to her now grabbing my thighs or ramming her giant ass into my thigh & inspecting my back muscle development =/. Its like being groped by your mom or aunt. My manager thankfully has it worse...she rests her chin on his shoulder & dry humps him + everything she does to me. She also likes to talk about her dance class, her diet & how she's losing weight, her ass & she constantly makes flirty comments & uses sexual innuendo...neither of us are remotely interested..

Any advice for me & my manager? How do you get rid of a cougar without being mauled?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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sux2bu

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Tell her you have a raging case of herpes simplex and that you only get 3" when hard.

That should do the trick.
 

Bluntmaster

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Tell her it is harassment and you will get her fat as$ fired if she touches you again. If she does it again, go to HR. If she still does it, sue for millions.
 

CantTouchMyStyle

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I am in a somewhat similar situation.

My 45-50 year old female cougar manager straight up asked me to see my penis at work a week or so ago. She was not joking. We were in the break room and she was asking me about a 20 year old girl I hooked up with at work, out of no where. Very creepy.

It's sexual harassment and you can get her in deep **** / fired. I am not ready to do that in my case, but if she gets sour on me, I will get her canned. She is the one who does my schedule / assigns my tasks for the day, etc. ****ty situation.
 

Kirro

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@sux2bu - It indeed sucks to be me(sorry couldn't resist). Not sure if that's a joke response or not but not in my character to say something like that.

@Bluntmaster - I'd love to do that however my high reputation at work & some of the crap I get away with is partly due to her, I'm not entirely sure if I can get my manager as a witness(since he's a victim too). I really don't want to stir up a whole my word vs her's dramatastic clusterfvck.

@CantTouchMyStyle - Word? Man I really hope it doesn't get to that point, it seems to get worse day by day...I was working around some objects that could rip my pants...she says, "Kirro, you better not rip your pants cuz I'm lettin' you know now, I'm gonna look =)"...my manager & I just paused...it was so awkward.

Meanwhile there's a 19 year old chick who absolutely loves to torment me. A latina with green eyes & a decent ass, but she's so vapid, obnoxious & loud that I couldn't ever risk entering into any kind of relations with her plus she has a bf so she may very well be attention wh*ring for all I know but compared to old cobwebs...I prefer a vapid chick around my age any freakin' day.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Alle_Gory

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Well at least she's not your manager. Last time that happened to me, the b*tch tried to get me fired after I completely ignored all advances.

I was 18, she was 35 and crusty. Never did fire me, but she did go crazy and make a fool of herself in front of her superiors while I was there cool as a cucumber. Then her boss put me in charge. Last I heard she was collecting unemployment.

Meh.

Moral of the story: If you're being pursued, you're in control. Use it to your benefit.
 

penkitten

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at our house
Bluntmaster said:
Tell her it is harassment and you will get her fat as$ fired if she touches you again. If she does it again, go to HR. If she still does it, sue for millions.
i agree. this most certainly is SEXUAL HARASSMENT and she can be fired for it. heck, you might can threaten to sue her.
 
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