BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,662
- Reaction score
- 6,528
- Age
- 55
As a woman on a men's seduction forum I've noticed something interesting. There isn't a tremendous amount of content about the how to's of creating sexual desire between a man and a woman. It comes naturally to some people, but I think that is a false belief. We all learn how to flirt and how to interact with the opposite sex along the way sometime in life. Some learn early and some learn later but each of us must learn. Some here are indeed "So Suave"...others not so much...still others? Utterly clueless.
Kino gets talked about a good bit, but what exactly is kino? How should you as a man deploy it? It is nuanced and subtle in some ways, and brash and bold in others. We know a smooth operator when we see him, but what exactly does that consist of? How do you arrive at the end result of getting a woman you just met all hot and bothered.
Having been a woman who has gotten hot and bothered by skilled seducers along the way I thought I'd share some things that have worked on me, and hopefully the rest of the community can contribute as well...
1. You must conquer or quell fear
FEAR. Awful thing isn't it? Completely mental. Completely self limiting. Completely unfounded. Afraid of rejection? What is she going to do? Roast you? Make a face? Turn away? Walk off? Why be afraid of that? Seriously. Make yourself take on social situations you find fearful, whatever those are. Just do it. Nobody cares that much. You aren't THAT important and no, everyone is NOT looking and they are NOT judging. Eliminate fear through action.
2. Smile
Smile at yourself in the mirror if you must in order to learn. Big toothy smile. When you see someone you like? Smile at them. Make eye contact. Don't stare but smile without apology.
2A. Learn to read people's body language.
Open body language is an invitation to interact. Closed body language is not. Get on You Tube, or whatever if you don't know the difference. You must learn to read women and whether they are open to you. Everything builds from there.
3. Get close
Want to learn how to get close to people? Go to a crowded nightclub, concert, or bar. Walk through the crowd. Touch women lightly on a shoulder as you move through the crowd. Just lightly to let people know you are there. You'll find something happens. They will move out of your way and let you through. If you go up to the bar, let your arm lightly brush the arm of a woman there. Smile. Put your hand on the small of her back if she smiles back. Say "How's your night so far?" If you like her nails, say "Let me see your nails..." She'll give her hand. Take it. Look over her nails & tell her they are very nice. You can do the same with a tatoo, or a piece of jewelry. Something individual about her but you should not comment on her looks.
This is why learning to dance is important. It gets you comfortable to be in a woman's personal space. Learn to dance. You don't even need formal lessons (although those are helpful too). Ask a good dancer in a club to show you how. I've shown men how to dance before, and men have shown me. It's a great way to break the ice.
4. Be bold
This is a more nuanced thing. If you are interacting with a woman, and it's going well, find a high seat. Sit in it with your legs apart. Have her stand between your legs, motion for her to come closer so you can hear her better. If she's open, graze her neck or her ear with your lips. Exhale while you do this. Have her face close. Don't kiss her. Look at her. She'll want to be close to you then...take her hands but let them drop. Observe what else is going on around you. Smile at her. Slyly. She'll want to be close at this point. You are chill, but you are in her space and she in yours. If her face is very close and she is receptive, kiss her, but in a teasing sort of way. Back off, don't totally make out. If her hands are on your legs, this is good. If she puts her arms around your neck or touches your shoulder, this is good. If you are reading the interaction well and she is not pulling away, place her hand on your package. She'll remove it in all probability, but you get the idea. Let her feel your desire. It is a turn on when a man who she is attracted to does this. Even if she is modest, she is intrigued. If you don't have a high seat, have her stand close to you. Same thing. Or a low seat and have her sit on your knee. Get bold and get close. Get her touching you.
5. Tell her what you want.
If she says I have to go, respond "I'll walk you out"...or if you want tell her, "let's get out of here" or "let's go across the street", etc. I've had men actually tell me they want to fvck me. They've said I want to marry you, they've said I want to make love to you all night, they've said come home with me. Now I've not done that in the moment...but some of those men are men who I did end up going out with and some I dated for a long time. Sexy, all of them. You lose nothing by being bold so long as you are chill when you say it, nonchalant, like it makes you no difference. If a woman calls you a player you say, perhaps. If she calls you dangerous, you say maybe. You never apologize. You never back away. You allow her to create opportunity for you. You ask her if she's wet. You ask her if she's a naughty girl. You tell her you like that. You lead the interaction. You do not apologize for what you want but your respect her boundaries if she draws a line.
Only when she draws a line do you take her number. Only then.
By then you know she is receptive to you sexually. Whether or not you capitalize on it right then and there is less important. Sometimes you will, other times you won't. But if you learn how to get a woman thinking of you with desire and you are unapologetic about your sexual intent? You will rarely have women flake on you. You'll become that man who women say "There's something about him...he's sexy."
And you'll have no shortage of women if you learn to create sexual desire.
Kino gets talked about a good bit, but what exactly is kino? How should you as a man deploy it? It is nuanced and subtle in some ways, and brash and bold in others. We know a smooth operator when we see him, but what exactly does that consist of? How do you arrive at the end result of getting a woman you just met all hot and bothered.
Having been a woman who has gotten hot and bothered by skilled seducers along the way I thought I'd share some things that have worked on me, and hopefully the rest of the community can contribute as well...
1. You must conquer or quell fear
FEAR. Awful thing isn't it? Completely mental. Completely self limiting. Completely unfounded. Afraid of rejection? What is she going to do? Roast you? Make a face? Turn away? Walk off? Why be afraid of that? Seriously. Make yourself take on social situations you find fearful, whatever those are. Just do it. Nobody cares that much. You aren't THAT important and no, everyone is NOT looking and they are NOT judging. Eliminate fear through action.
2. Smile
Smile at yourself in the mirror if you must in order to learn. Big toothy smile. When you see someone you like? Smile at them. Make eye contact. Don't stare but smile without apology.
2A. Learn to read people's body language.
Open body language is an invitation to interact. Closed body language is not. Get on You Tube, or whatever if you don't know the difference. You must learn to read women and whether they are open to you. Everything builds from there.
3. Get close
Want to learn how to get close to people? Go to a crowded nightclub, concert, or bar. Walk through the crowd. Touch women lightly on a shoulder as you move through the crowd. Just lightly to let people know you are there. You'll find something happens. They will move out of your way and let you through. If you go up to the bar, let your arm lightly brush the arm of a woman there. Smile. Put your hand on the small of her back if she smiles back. Say "How's your night so far?" If you like her nails, say "Let me see your nails..." She'll give her hand. Take it. Look over her nails & tell her they are very nice. You can do the same with a tatoo, or a piece of jewelry. Something individual about her but you should not comment on her looks.
This is why learning to dance is important. It gets you comfortable to be in a woman's personal space. Learn to dance. You don't even need formal lessons (although those are helpful too). Ask a good dancer in a club to show you how. I've shown men how to dance before, and men have shown me. It's a great way to break the ice.
4. Be bold
This is a more nuanced thing. If you are interacting with a woman, and it's going well, find a high seat. Sit in it with your legs apart. Have her stand between your legs, motion for her to come closer so you can hear her better. If she's open, graze her neck or her ear with your lips. Exhale while you do this. Have her face close. Don't kiss her. Look at her. She'll want to be close to you then...take her hands but let them drop. Observe what else is going on around you. Smile at her. Slyly. She'll want to be close at this point. You are chill, but you are in her space and she in yours. If her face is very close and she is receptive, kiss her, but in a teasing sort of way. Back off, don't totally make out. If her hands are on your legs, this is good. If she puts her arms around your neck or touches your shoulder, this is good. If you are reading the interaction well and she is not pulling away, place her hand on your package. She'll remove it in all probability, but you get the idea. Let her feel your desire. It is a turn on when a man who she is attracted to does this. Even if she is modest, she is intrigued. If you don't have a high seat, have her stand close to you. Same thing. Or a low seat and have her sit on your knee. Get bold and get close. Get her touching you.
5. Tell her what you want.
If she says I have to go, respond "I'll walk you out"...or if you want tell her, "let's get out of here" or "let's go across the street", etc. I've had men actually tell me they want to fvck me. They've said I want to marry you, they've said I want to make love to you all night, they've said come home with me. Now I've not done that in the moment...but some of those men are men who I did end up going out with and some I dated for a long time. Sexy, all of them. You lose nothing by being bold so long as you are chill when you say it, nonchalant, like it makes you no difference. If a woman calls you a player you say, perhaps. If she calls you dangerous, you say maybe. You never apologize. You never back away. You allow her to create opportunity for you. You ask her if she's wet. You ask her if she's a naughty girl. You tell her you like that. You lead the interaction. You do not apologize for what you want but your respect her boundaries if she draws a line.
Only when she draws a line do you take her number. Only then.
By then you know she is receptive to you sexually. Whether or not you capitalize on it right then and there is less important. Sometimes you will, other times you won't. But if you learn how to get a woman thinking of you with desire and you are unapologetic about your sexual intent? You will rarely have women flake on you. You'll become that man who women say "There's something about him...he's sexy."
And you'll have no shortage of women if you learn to create sexual desire.
