Creating lasting change.

[Warrior74]

Lots of people here make temporary changes. You can see it here all the time. Some guy does well for a while and then lose it. Share your tips for creating permanent, lasting change.

 

[georgie24]

Best Tip

Lose or diminish Emotions linked to consiquece

 

[Down Low]

In 100 years, no one is going to ask how much of slvt was his great grandmother.

Impregnate the wh0re and win in a lasting, permanent way.

 

[timmylivingalie]

Lots of people here make temporary changes. You can see it here all the time. Some guy does well for a while and then lose it. Share your tips for creating permanent, lasting change.

I have that problem sometimes with body language. I have to correct myself several times during the day.

 

[Jitterbug]

Share your tips for creating permanent, lasting change.

"If it's important, do it everyday."

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
Yes I suppose we all make cosmetic changes to the way we behave and conduct our lives.However it is my observation that over time we revert to type,in crisis the new persona slips off like a Ladies dancing glove,and there in all its nakedness is the real us....So why are we the way we are?I believe you are what you will be for always by the time you are Ten,possibly earlier,with some aspects,maybe even in the womb.....

Having lived in the same Town for sixty years I have followed the behaviour of successive generations in the same families,learned about the parents of my School mates,observed these blokes,their kids and now their grandchildren,thats four generations!......Some characteristics really do go down the line,and seem inheritable....Perhaps aspects of behaviour are genetically programmed?...

As a young Man,I spent a few years living in the Bush on a lonely Property,without a doubt it was perceived wisdom amongst the locals, that behaviour in say Cattle,horses,dogs was passed down the line...and so I remember,my old Father in Law being very upset that an aggressive Bull from next door had got in with his heifers....The off spring from this liason were obstreporous,unmanagable beasts,he spent decades weeding them out....If lower forms of life,why not us?...

Malcolm Gladwell,has a bit to say about aggressive tribalism in young Whites from the deep South of your own Nation,in "Outliers"....I agree with him,whilst reflecting that this went a long way to explain,the prowess of the Armies of the Confederacy!

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Lots of people here make temporary changes. You can see it here all the time. Some guy does well for a while and then lose it. Share your tips for creating permanent, lasting change.

I've found that over the years, I've changed quite a bit for the better in several areas of my life. Some of these changes have lasted a decade or two so far-------and I haven't reverted back yet.

I think it all comes down to loving who you want to become more than hating who you "think" you are now.

Many of us are probably a lot harder on ourselves than we should be. There's a fine line between disciplining yourself and punishing yourself----and a lot of people can't walk it. Personally, my spiritual beliefs give me the inspiration,the strength, and the awareness to know when I'm crossing over on the wrong side of the line. Then, it's up to ME to "get over myself" enough----to forgive myself enough----and to love myself enough to stop condemning myself BEFORE the changes that I want to see manifested are complete.

The one factor that's always been a constant whenever I've made (or exhibited) positive changes in my life is that it ALWAYS occurs when I've won the fight against double-mindedness. To put it simply, "Double-Mindedness" can usually be defined as "thinking" one way about what you want, but deep down, "feeling" another way.

I've found that whenever the most lasting internal and external changes have occurred in my life, it's happened when my thoughts, my actions, and my feelings regarding achieving (or receiving) that "change" are all in consistent HARMONY.

The biggest battle for me is usually changing the way I "feel" about something-----which I usually can do by speaking, thinking, and meditating (with FEELING) on the positive outcomes that I want. I usually know when the battle is almost over and I'm about to win when I've beaten down the internal conflict inside myself and feel a sense of PEACE and CONFIDENT EXPECTATION that I'll achieve or receive that particular desired outcome.

The only times I HAVE NOT seen this work is when I chosen to give up, to voluntarily quit, or lose interest for some reason or another. In these cases, I suspect it's because I actually really didn't want it "bad enough" or I was not spiritually, mentally, physically, and/or emotionally focused enough to keep standing my ground for it until the "change" came.

This is usually the reason why we sometimes fall short of making the changes to our lives last--------because we haven't laid the foundation for lasting change well enough. Nothing falls harder or blows away quicker in a storm than house built on sinking sand (constantly shifting ideas) as opposed to solid rock (resolve that ONLY comes from determination to achieve or receive a desired outcome).

But as I've said, in the end...

I still believe that making lasting positive CHANGES to your life all come down to LOVING who you want to become more than HATING who you "think" you are now.


V.U.

 

[origin138]

This is a really good question that I've been contemplating an answer to for a few days. I'll frame my answer in the context of SoSuave topics.

I think a lot of it depends on how deep your personal struggles go with unlearning beta behavior.

For me, just when I make my biggest strides with women, as a business owner, as a leader, and as a man in general, I'll have a major setback and lapse into bad behavior (see my post about Accidental Skype Game), get tangled up with a damaged woman (I've got a knack for this one), fire a belligerent client prematurely, etc. Then the sting of the consequences makes me much stronger on the other side, thus producing lasting change. Eventually, the setbacks become fewer and further between. I'm much more easily able to walk away from low quality women than I was last year.

Also, I grew up with a mother who was impossible to please and father who was a wuss and enabler. This is the perfect scenario to create a people-pleasing, codependent beta who gets walked all over, and that's what I work to undo DAILY.

A lot of this sh!t runs deep into who I am as a person and it requires constant maintenance to keep in check. I've accepted the fact I'm not a "natural" alpha. With this acceptance comes the realization that I will always need to keep close watch on my interactions with women. Lasting change.

I look at this life as a race. We all start somewhere in relation to the starting line. You can even carry this analogy over to the journey from being a weak man to a strong man. Some of us start way behind the starting line, others start on the starting line, and others start way ahead and have a huge advantage.

I think the trick to creating lasting change is to not delude oneself into believing they've reached a place of perfection/nirvana and to always be striving to be better, stronger, more social, and more confident. Also, to not allow yourself to get derailed from your mission, whatever it may be. The only thing stopping you from your mission should be death itself (see Jophil). None of us are immune to backsliding into the ways of weaker men.

If we're lucky, we have several decades on this planet. My hunch is that when 100% of us pass away, we'll still leave behind imperfections in our game, in who we are, in our value systems, etc. The goal is to constantly strive to be better so that the imperfections we leave behind are minimal, and if on the other side we're able to look back, we can honestly say "yea, I gave that my all and I finished that goddamn'd race well."

I read a post by someone this past week talking about how he's suddenly reached Alpha nirvana and how he's suddenly the authority on being the Alpha. It's not that black and white. Even the most Alpha of men have moments of weakness, although they may be fewer and far between than the beta. To me this is a dangerous place to be, and it's thinking like this that is counterproductive to lasting change.

Just my 2.

 

[Boilermaker]

Love the Plateau.

 

[origin138]

Love the Plateau.

Are you still giving out the PDF?

 

[Boilermaker]

I am giving out the Garden of Eden.

Download it, here.

http://en.bookfi.org/