Creating Attraction, not Rapport, Attraction

[Tictac]

I'm actually pretty good at this. But a 'special situation' requires other eyes, yours. I want to run an experiment.

I took a knockout to dinner on Tuesday. Tall, former model, Midwestern sensibilities, stylish and smart - built like a goddess and she knows it.

And she is wrapped waaaay tight. Conversation was halting, subdued but okay. Flashes of humor and banter - way more from me than her but she was eventually putting in the effort. I was my usual confident, relaxed self.

Sent her home after a very nice parking lot goodbye. She was so buttoned down and distant that I figured it was a simple mismatch and I'd not hear from her again.

Next night, she sends me a curt, almost greeting card email about 'our lovely evening'.

I'd love some insights from the 'mature' Don Juan's here about how to pull this woman. It's going to be work. We both have kids, jobs and other complications that come with being grown ups. I've got other plates in play but I want to see how far I can push this. She's 46, I'm 62.

It's a bit strange for me to just see what I can do here. But that's how I want to play this. I am intrigued but in an almost clinical way.

Put your best up. Pure attraction is what I'm going for.

 

[Tictac]

taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: 象外
Age: 46
Posts: 1,403

Very little data to go on. A 46 y/o may have long ago given up finding "the one" and is only interested in short term fun.

OTOH, she might be ONLY interested in something serious. Without knowing which, it's kind of hard to give a one sized fits all piece of advice.

To create attraction, you've got to be attractive. Just like you would with any girl.

Skip the dinners, be more fun. Do fun things. Be spontaneous. Don't be needy or too present. Don't text other than to set up meets.

Always present an aura of confidence, and a mix of interest and aloofness.

Ignore the email. Call her in a few days and suggest something unexpected.

Then just treat her like any other girl. Kino, escalation, read her vibe, and close accordingly.

Strike whenever she's ripe.
__________________
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[SecondHalf]

What taiyuu said and ...

Dress classy,
appear to have lots of money (if that's not already a given),
drop hints about being active/good shape/health conscious (if it's not apparent)
and be a class act.

A 46 year old woman who is considering an older man expects no issues with his life. She will know she can never change you, so you have to get as many ticks on her list as you can.

Good luck, I'll be looking forward to updates!

SH

 

[Tictac]

Apologies Taiyuu,

Whether we're looking at a short-termed or your OTOH is too soon to tell. I'm guessing another bite of this apple will help with that important question.

Confidence, detached interest and aloofness come easy to me so I can do that.

I did ignore the email and won't be able to see her for about a week anyway. I have some very good ideas for what to do when we next meet.

Spontaneity comes hard when lives are so full. But good advice nonetheless.

The rest is textbook. I am thinking that with people like you and others here, there may be some insights afield of the tried and true.

Cheers!

 

[Desdinova]

I'd love some insights from the 'mature' Don Juan's here about how to pull this woman.

You pull her the same way you pull every other woman.... by their hair

But seriously, you're already in. All you need to do is create a deeper connection. A lot of times you can do that simply by just fvcking her. Why would you want to do something different than what has been working for you in the past? Try out new stuff on women you don't care about. Use what's tried and true on the women you really DO want.

We both have kids, jobs and other complications that come with being grown ups.

When it comes to this, you have to find a woman who's schedule is at least somewhat compatible with yours. If it isn't, it's not going to work.

You cannot play time games with women who have kids. They're available whenever they can be and she should let you know when she is. Always try to lead. Let her know your availability and get her to tell you which of those days would work for her. Women with kids are generally more appreciative of the time they get to spend with a man they like.

The best thing I can tell you is to make your dates fun and interesting. Whenever you do that, you're pretty much guaranteed to get another date.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I believe you can say things and how you say them that kills attraction, but I don't think you can really create attraction. I think attraction is mostly a visual thing for females too, and it is either there or it isn't.

You can't really talk your way to or tactically create attraction. Saying the wrong things can kill attraction, but not saying the wrong things or saying the "right" things isn't really creating the attraction. So it's really a question of how can I not kill the attraction that is already there. It's hard to say but besides reading her signals, I think it's safest to play it a little indifferent.

 

[Tictac]

Thank you gentlemen.

I was just wondering why she seemed to be wrapped so tight. It seemed more than simple nervousness though evidently less than her thinking that she was in the wrong 'place' (with me at a place she chose). Light banter is my style. It this is how she operates, we will not get very far. Time will tell.

As all of us here know, pedestals are bad news and I don't put women on them, ever. Taking your leads, I will ask her out as next week unfolds.

Keep it comin' as you have additional thoughts.