"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Crazy or not?

G

GaryNas

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I regularly go to this place once a week by myself and have met a lot of people. This one girl, HB9, who I've known (only talk or see her at this place) for a while gave me her number. Here's how it played out:

I was talking with HB9 and another girl about how girls at this place keep giving me their numbers, but I never call them. They said how it hurts their self-esteem, blah blah. So HB9 trades numbers with me and teases with stuff like "You better call." and whatever. She's cool to hang out with and I would definitely call her. Now here's where it gets VERY "strange".

I get home at 4am, and catch up on some TV. At 6am I look at my phone and I have a new voicemail from 4:30am; it's from HB9. She says how she thinks the other girl we were with got the wrong impression of her giving me her number. She says she's not looking for a relationship or anything, just that it would be fun to swap numbers.

So basically, I don't get it... A 4am call to tell me the girl (who she called "my friend", but isn't) that was talking with us thinks she got the wrong impression??

HB9 is really great to talk with and I never even had a "relationship" in mind, but this call sort of weirded me out.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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H

huge_guy_pimpin

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Originally posted by GaryNas
I regularly go to this place once a week by myself and have met a lot of people. This one girl, HB9, who I've known (only talk or see her at this place) for a while gave me her number. Here's how it played out:

I was talking with HB9 and another girl about how girls at this place keep giving me their numbers, but I never call them. They said how it hurts their self-esteem, blah blah. So HB9 trades numbers with me and teases with stuff like "You better call." and whatever. She's cool to hang out with and I would definitely call her. Now here's where it gets VERY "strange".

I get home at 4am, and catch up on some TV. At 6am I look at my phone and I have a new voicemail from 4:30am; it's from HB9. She says how she thinks the other girl we were with got the wrong impression of her giving me her number. She says she's not looking for a relationship or anything, just that it would be fun to swap numbers.

So basically, I don't get it... A 4am call to tell me the girl (who she called "my friend", but isn't) that was talking with us thinks she got the wrong impression??

HB9 is really great to talk with and I never even had a "relationship" in mind, but this call sort of weirded me out.
Click to expand...
im not sure whats going on, can u rephrase ?
 
G

GaryNas

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Re: Re: Crazy or not?

Originally posted by huge_guy_pimpin
im not sure whats going on, can u rephrase ?
Click to expand...
Sure, here's the ultra simple version.

Girl (HB9) I know trades numbers with me the other night. Later that night at 4am HB9 leaves me a message saying the 3rd party we were with might have gotten the wrong idea about her giving me her number. She said something about how she didn't mean it like that and is just looking for fun and nothing serious. I have to point out that nothing in our conversation earlier in the evening alluded to anything remotely serious.

I just don't get why she would even bother to call and tell me that.
 
V

Vincent

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I'm very confused.

So heres how I believe it breaks down

You and HB9 trade numbers.

HB9 calls you at 4am saying that another HB thought you got the wrong impression between you and HB? (not HB)

You're :confused:
 
P

PuertoRican_Lover

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Never call her and wait until she says "How come you never called me?" - this will let you know that she wants you to call her - then ask for her number again.

Don't call her to ask her to explain her message - this will make you look weak!!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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C

Chilli_pimp

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so u swap numbers, and she calls u up at 4am telling you she didn't want ur "friend" to have the wrong impression...

ok, if a broad takes the time to say that sh!t, leave a voicemail in the middle of the night.. she's talkin bs.. like you said, she's an HB9, so shes probably tryna keep her rep intact... as in, she doesn't wanna look like she's goin after you, so she leaves a msg sayin yada yada yada, i juss wanted to have "fun conversations with you"
men and women don't call each other up to have "fun conversations"... they call cuz there interested... this broad just blown her cover by calling u in the middle of the night... she's interested, but doesn't wanna make it look obvious...
 
G

GaryNas

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Originally posted by Vincent
I'm very confused.

So heres how I believe it breaks down

You and HB9 trade numbers.

HB9 calls you at 4am saying that another HB thought you got the wrong impression between you and HB? (not HB)

You're :confused:
Click to expand...
HB9 called to say that she thinks the other HB got the wrong impression. I'm completely confused as to why she would even bother calling to tell me this. :/
 
B

Bonhomme

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I agree with Chilli

Don't believe her words, believe her actions. She called to tell you that because she's was putting up a front so as not to betray too much interest.

Play it cool, and call her when you have some plans and you want too invite her to join in. You can even reverse it, and refer to her as your friend.
 
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