Crashed and Burned for 5 weeks now

[Twitchy]

Hey guys, I need some help - I'm sure you've all been in this situation before and gone past it. For the past 5 weeks I've been going out to clubs with some friends and approaching each time, multiple times. The problem is I have had no success what so ever. Everytime I approach on the dance floor I get brushed off, and off the dance floor it is still so noisy and nothing has ever come of it more than a few conversations. What is wierd is I have a mate who is confident around women, and seems super natural outside of nightlife but he has also had zero success at these clubs, though he has made more approaches than the rest of us.

I honestly don't get it. I'm a confident guy - I have always been good at making friends, and have no trouble at all speaking to women. I'm happy and fun, go out with a couple of hot girls who I have great rapport with (one's a flatmate), plus a load of guy friends. If I ever get into a conversation with a girl I do great, but at clubs it seems completely different.

I guess what I'm asking is, have any of you been in my situation before, and what have you done to get through it? Is the answer just time/experience?

 

[Warrior74]

Hey guys, I need some help - I'm sure you've all been in this situation before and gone past it. For the past 5 weeks I've been going out to clubs with some friends and approaching each time, multiple times. The problem is I have had no success what so ever. Everytime I approach on the dance floor I get brushed off, and off the dance floor it is still so noisy and nothing has ever come of it more than a few conversations. What is wierd is I have a mate who is confident around women, and seems super natural outside of nightlife but he has also had zero success at these clubs, though he has made more approaches than the rest of us.

I honestly don't get it. I'm a confident guy - I have always been good at making friends, and have no trouble at all speaking to women. I'm happy and fun, go out with a couple of hot girls who I have great rapport with (one's a flatmate), plus a load of guy friends. If I ever get into a conversation with a girl I do great, but at clubs it seems completely different.

I guess what I'm asking is, have any of you been in my situation before, and what have you done to get through it? Is the answer just time/experience?

Club game is not about dancefloor approaches. That's the last place you want to approach.

Club game is all about the physical.

1. You must look as good as possible. Be in shape, or the best shape you can be in. Dress well. Don't overdress or dress for the wrong environment. Look well groomed.

2. Body langauge and eye contact are your tools. You have to be aware of what kind of singal you are sending out with your body laguange, you need to look relaxed. Don't be afraid to make eye contact with lots of women and gauge their reactions.

3. Approach women at the bar, or at their table. Don't do the grabbing on some girl as she walking by thing, its lame.

4. Learn how to approach groups and get a wingman if you can.

5. Don't approach on the dancefloor. The dance floor is like the victory lap. You got an interested girl, you take her to dance. If she's dancing with a group of friends, make eye contact and then catch her later when she's off the floor.

Good luck.

 

[the305]

Club game is not about dancefloor approaches. That's the last place you want to approach.

Club game is all about the physical.

1. You must look as good as possible. Be in shape, or the best shape you can be in. Dress well. Don't overdress or dress for the wrong environment. Look well groomed.

2. Body langauge and eye contact are your tools. You have to be aware of what kind of singal you are sending out with your body laguange, you need to look relaxed. Don't be afraid to make eye contact with lots of women and gauge their reactions.

3. Approach women at the bar, or at their table. Don't do the grabbing on some girl as she walking by thing, its lame.

4. Learn how to approach groups and get a wingman if you can.

5. Don't approach on the dancefloor. The dance floor is like the victory lap. You got an interested girl, you take her to dance. If she's dancing with a group of friends, make eye contact and then catch her later when she's off the floor.

Good luck.

Good stuff

The best technique to use in club game, is bringing female friends - girls are attracted to guys around girls, you are instantly not a loser trying to pick up girls EVEN if the girls are going to the club to meet guys, they HATE the idea of it, its degrading to women.

 

[joe henny]

Look for women who are choosing you. It doesn't matter how confident you are how well dressed you are either. If she finds you unatractive that's the end of the road. PERIOD. So look for women who give you eye contact, or who smile at you or any thing extra to show that they're attracted to you. Sometimes you can even feel tat energy when a chicks crushing on you. You know what I'm talking about.

 

[spinaroonie]

Dude, don't feel bad. Read my thread.

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=178864

 

[Twitchy]

Club game is not about dancefloor approaches. That's the last place you want to approach.

Club game is all about the physical.

1. You must look as good as possible. Be in shape, or the best shape you can be in. Dress well. Don't overdress or dress for the wrong environment. Look well groomed.

2. Body langauge and eye contact are your tools. You have to be aware of what kind of singal you are sending out with your body laguange, you need to look relaxed. Don't be afraid to make eye contact with lots of women and gauge their reactions.

3. Approach women at the bar, or at their table. Don't do the grabbing on some girl as she walking by thing, its lame.

4. Learn how to approach groups and get a wingman if you can.

5. Don't approach on the dancefloor. The dance floor is like the victory lap. You got an interested girl, you take her to dance. If she's dancing with a group of friends, make eye contact and then catch her later when she's off the floor.

Good luck.

This is a really helpful post, thanks. Point five about approaching on the dance floor is very relevant to me, I have been doing this continuously. While I have also been approaching off the dance floor I'm guessing I've been sending out the wrong message.
Point four is something I need to improve upon. I have wingmen and a bi wingwoman who have all offered but I'm still a little uncomfortable approaching groups larger than three. That I guess will be removed with time.

The best technique to use in club game, is bringing female friends - girls are attracted to guys around girls, you are instantly not a loser trying to pick up girls EVEN if the girls are going to the club to meet guys, they HATE the idea of it, its degrading to women.

With this point, I'm not sure what to do - I already go out with two women and I can't say I have much success. I guess the problem is that I go out with maybe four other guys too, which definately slants the ratio towards sausagefest. Problem is I've just moved into an area and so the only people I've been out with are met at work, which is an engineering firm so known women are a rather limited resource .

Dude, don't feel bad. Read my thread.

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=178864

I don't think its as bad as you make it out to be. I'm in britain, so maybe that's the difference but the women there are often hot, not many 'whales' to speak of. I know what you mean about the large groups of girls on their night out been the norm. Just different situation though I think we need to adapt to it. The loud f'cking music is a huge pain when talking to someone even at the bar - its hard to keep it casual when you're shouting in their ear to be heard.

I sense a general trend of lack of interest in meeting new people at clubs from women. Men are the opposite, they are always really friendly and open to making friends. People come with their friends, and leave with their friends. Having said that I feel like I'm just making excuses to myself, and that those better skilled than me would be achieving success.

I'm going down to leeds next weekend for a couple of great nights out, and to see a friend at uni (just after payday ). Any advice anyone else can offer me would be really appreciated.