"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Crappy emotional landscape

SpareTimeDJ

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I am angry at myself right now. Because I am always "wanting" the girls who are playing with me. I can't "fall" for the nice girl. No, I just react to the coquettish girls who play hot/cold and show no/little ambiguous interest.

Thats not all. I am rarely attracted to girls, emotionally or sexually. I stopped watching porn for a week now hoping to reverse this ****ed up conditioning and resensitize myself. I hope it works. Dammit, all I want is to enjoy relationships and sex! Just being able to "function" in this regard is ok.

Any of you guys having any suggestions or ideas? Maybe similar situations u could fix? I am doing sports, my weight is fine and I am going out and talk to girls. I can pull some nice ones (6-7) too if I really try but I never seem to enjoy it and it feels fake. The girls naturally pick up on that and nothing really good ever happens. I am quite sure its inner game related but I found no good fix so far.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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nightcrawler

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Hmmmm...

first stop being angry at yourself.

second...stop looking for love...let love find you. The way I see it, the females are the hunters and the males are the prey..so just chill my friend..go with the flow...be like water...I'm sure plenty of girls will hit on you at school or work or when going out etc...don't thread over not having girls...the girls are always there.

life ain't gotta be about girls man...just do your thing..whatever it is and eventually girls will wanna fish you out and have sex with you.

how old are u?
 

MasterFuu

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First find inner happiness. What makes you happy?
Talk to friends and go out more. Talk to your parents/brothers/sisters. Good family relationship leads to happier self.
Find a hobby. The more you enjoy yourself day to day the happier you will become. Write on peace of paper what pisses you off and find a way to solve it. How is your job?

Once you become a more positive and happier guy the girls will hunt you down like a dog. Believe me the happiness will radiate and draw the best females in (8-9's). Positive pretty girls want to be around positive guys.

No matter what careful about trying to be happier by getting material things. It is only a short term fix. True happiness comes from within.
 

SpareTimeDJ

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@Nightcrawler: Im almost 30. Females do hit on me sometimes. Sometimes they are ugly sometimes not.

The thing is that "love" does find me but only with unavailable or "hard to get" girls. A lot less then when I was younger because I am aware of the process but it still happens.

Girls are not my top priority. Money, Influence and fun are. But alas it is an area I want to improve.

@MasterFuu:

I am ok/happy or better said content most of the time. But I am also ambitious. I want to earn more money, get more successful. Hobbies I have plenty.

I just got ****tested a lot lately about my sense of humor and about how "demanding" it is. I reflected a bit and they might even be right. I get that a lot lately with the girls and I guess I am just too much of an ass. ´Maybe insulting instead of just teasing. I get the:

- U got a huge ego!
- U think too much of yourself
- Ur humor I don't like

It makes me think they might be right and I have to adapt it, calibrate it better. Usually I am quite impulsive and don't get the emotions of girls right, overlook them and just blurt out what I ahve to say. I get they feeling that makes some of them retreat.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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nightcrawler

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SpareTimeDJ said:
@Nightcrawler: Im almost 30. Females do hit on me sometimes. Sometimes they are ugly sometimes not.

The thing is that "love" does find me but only with unavailable or "hard to get" girls. A lot less then when I was younger because I am aware of the process but it still happens.

Girls are not my top priority. Money, Influence and fun are. But alas it is an area I want to improve.

@MasterFuu:

I am ok/happy or better said content most of the time. But I am also ambitious. I want to earn more money, get more successful. Hobbies I have plenty.

I just got ****tested a lot lately about my sense of humor and about how "demanding" it is. I reflected a bit and they might even be right. I get that a lot lately with the girls and I guess I am just too much of an ass. ´Maybe insulting instead of just teasing. I get the:

- U got a huge ego!
- U think too much of yourself
- Ur humor I don't like

It makes me think they might be right and I have to adapt it, calibrate it better. Usually I am quite impulsive and don't get the emotions of girls right, overlook them and just blurt out what I ahve to say. I get they feeling that makes some of them retreat.
well then there you go dude...girls already hitting on u and such...

maybe you just gotta put a little bit more effort in the girl...even if you're not into her...who knows...I've fallen in love with girls I wasn't even that into and tried to "game" them solely for laughs and validation issues on my part and in the end it develped into a love affair.

as far as the **** tests go...just say "that's not true!!!!" ...girls eat that up :thumbsup:
 

SpareTimeDJ

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@nightcrawler:

Alright. Thanks for the input! I got a new job now so its a little stressfull anyway. I got plans for the nexts months so there should be plenty of opportunity. Lets see what happens :)
 
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