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Covid – 19 concerns, and her ex is back in the picture. Advice please

f(x)

Don Juan
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I was dating a woman for about two months and things seemed to be going well.

With the exception of the first date we have had sex every time we have been together, and it has generally been pretty good.

We were last together two weeks ago and she told me that her ex, who left her twice before had contacted her and they hung out. She claims nothing sexual occurred, but pretty much implied we were done and told me that she still has feelings for him (but still slept with me that night).

I feel that I handled it well and didn’t overreact or come across as needy/clingy etc. I told her that she should probably just be with him because I don’t think I would want someone with such low self-esteem in my life anyway.

The next morning she told me that she is confused because she has developed emotions for me, but still has them for her ex. She even said that he might even be better as “just a friend”.

A few days later she texted me and made plans to spend the night with me. The day we were supposed to hang out she cancelled via text and said she had to deal with an ongoing family issue which I have known about almost the whole time.

She said she still wants to see me though but did not make a counteroffer. She then called me to say that her kid’s daycare just closed due to Covid-19 (which is also true). Without daycare, getting together and hooking up becomes extremely difficult due to schedule conflicts.

She has not contacted me in about a week and I am considering sending one last text to gauge the situation. It will be just something short to check in and see how she has been. 2-3 lines max. If she doesn’t respond or gives me some vague one-word response I will probably just walk away.

I think she is either talking to her ex, or just not texting because the daycare/corona situation is leaving our date nights up in the air (which she had expressed concerns about prior to her ex being back in the picture). I don’t want to kill attraction by over texting either.

Or, I am thinking about skipping all that and just going no contact now. However, with things as they are these days, it’s looking like there may be a dry spell on the horizon and I’d rather not deal with that if I don’t have to.

My guess is that her ex is now back in the picture because he knows things might dry up for a minute too and he probably wants to nail something down for the duration.

So, what do you think?

Should I send one last short text to gauge her response and possibly make future plans? She told me she is seeking alternate daycare arrangements so it would be nice to see her again after all this blows over, provided the ex is not an issue and general quarantine rules are observed (there are less than 50 confirmed Covid cases in my town).

Or should I just go no contact now?

Thanks for reading!
 

Black Widow Void

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Remember that moment... when you were apathetic toward her expressing that she is still interested in her ex?
Her reaction that night and verbal expression that morning rewarded your approach .

I suspect that if you reach out (rather than her doing the extending)... that there will be more 'punishment' than 'reward.'
 

Igetit!

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Remember that moment... when you were apathetic toward her expressing that she is still interested in her ex?
Her reaction that night and verbal expression that morning rewarded your approach .

I suspect that if you reach out (rather than her doing the extending)... that there will be more 'punishment' than 'reward.'
OOOOH-kay.....so......

So what should he do?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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The sec a woman says ex, she is dead to me. If she was on fire I would extinguish it with swamp ass.

Too busy getting more girls.

Covid is not a excuses to urinate from the seated position. It is more important to double down harder than ever before.
 

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Black Widow Void

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The sec a woman says ex, she is dead to me. If she was on fire I would extinguish it with swamp ass.

Too busy getting more girls.

Covid is not a excuses to urinate from the seated position. It is more important to double down harder than ever before.
And with 3,360 postings to his name (in just a little over two years). ... We can conclude that over the past couple of years he's been "too busy" with something, but I'm not sure it's been... "getting more girls."
 

Spaz

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As a standard rule of thumb, when a woman ceased to be amusing and on a consistent basis, she must be dismissed.

And you as a man must move on.

If you don't do that, then you open urself up to be often bullied by women.

In ur case, as an example, I'd do nothing, in my mind she has not only displeased me but has even dared to be disrespectful to my face by admitting she went out with an Ex and trying to manipulate me further.

She won't be having the benefit of having my DNA swimming up her ass any longer.

Well, maybe if she acts pathetically pitiful and crawl of the floor, I'd give her a good pounding and then dismiss her for good just to teach her a lesson.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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And with 3,360 postings to his name (in just a little over two years). ... We can conclude that over the past couple of years he's been "too busy" with something, but I'm not sure it's been... "getting more girls."
You mad sparky?

Take the soy out of your diet. Get testosterone checked.
 

Black Widow Void

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You mad sparky?

Take the soy out of your diet. Get testosterone checked.
I prefer to not filter other members.
Provide some forum links... where you aren't posturing or recycling overused cliche's
... and I'll keep an open mind toward your 'wisdom'
 

Serenity

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I told her that she should probably just be with him because I don’t think I would want someone with such low self-esteem in my life anyway.
You should follow up on that.

Personally I'd rather fap for the duration of the corona crisis than deal with such indecisive BS. Your desperation is the only reason you're even considering entertaining her. Remove the desperation and you'll see it as it is.
 

bcude

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I told her that she should probably just be with him because I don’t think I would want someone with such low self-esteem in my life anyway.
Unnecessary comment at the end, you sounded butthurt over it instead of indifferent.

What do you want from her? She's a single mom so i imagine you're not looking for anything serious?

He left her, so he walked away with all the "power" in their relationship. Feelings between them are certainly there, she will be tempted to go back if just to "get back" at her ex and dump HIM.

It's not your job to deal with her indecision or lingering feelings, so you're doing the right thing to distance yourself from the situation and let her do whatever she wants. Communicate you don't accept to be an option which shows you've standards and withdraw while she figures her emotions out.
No texting to gauge her interest right now, let her come to you. Texting wont help you in any way.
 

stringpuller

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I was dating a woman for about two months and things seemed to be going well.

With the exception of the first date we have had sex every time we have been together, and it has generally been pretty good.

We were last together two weeks ago and she told me that her ex, who left her twice before had contacted her and they hung out. She claims nothing sexual occurred, but pretty much implied we were done and told me that she still has feelings for him (but still slept with me that night).

I feel that I handled it well and didn’t overreact or come across as needy/clingy etc. I told her that she should probably just be with him because I don’t think I would want someone with such low self-esteem in my life anyway.

The next morning she told me that she is confused because she has developed emotions for me, but still has them for her ex. She even said that he might even be better as “just a friend”.

A few days later she texted me and made plans to spend the night with me. The day we were supposed to hang out she cancelled via text and said she had to deal with an ongoing family issue which I have known about almost the whole time.

She said she still wants to see me though but did not make a counteroffer. She then called me to say that her kid’s daycare just closed due to Covid-19 (which is also true). Without daycare, getting together and hooking up becomes extremely difficult due to schedule conflicts.

She has not contacted me in about a week and I am considering sending one last text to gauge the situation. It will be just something short to check in and see how she has been. 2-3 lines max. If she doesn’t respond or gives me some vague one-word response I will probably just walk away.

I think she is either talking to her ex, or just not texting because the daycare/corona situation is leaving our date nights up in the air (which she had expressed concerns about prior to her ex being back in the picture). I don’t want to kill attraction by over texting either.

Or, I am thinking about skipping all that and just going no contact now. However, with things as they are these days, it’s looking like there may be a dry spell on the horizon and I’d rather not deal with that if I don’t have to.

My guess is that her ex is now back in the picture because he knows things might dry up for a minute too and he probably wants to nail something down for the duration.

So, what do you think?

Should I send one last short text to gauge her response and possibly make future plans? She told me she is seeking alternate daycare arrangements so it would be nice to see her again after all this blows over, provided the ex is not an issue and general quarantine rules are observed (there are less than 50 confirmed Covid cases in my town).

Or should I just go no contact now?

Thanks for reading!
First is first.
1. Too much fcking at the beginning.
2. You are in her frame
3. Your competing with an ex who kicked her to the curb. Twice (you lose) suplicating
4. You have a lot of growing to do. Have some principles and standards for yourself.
Do these things amd you wont have to compete for garbage.

And for pete sakes stop licking girls azzes when they tell you they are into some other dude.
I have a co worker who does this crap.
Tick tick tick......
 

stringpuller

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I understand the other points. Why is this too much fcking?
I know this hard for some to comprehend especially younger lads.
It kills desire when you get too much of something.
Easily will become obligation secs. Keep it secs of desire. Withholding your seed from her will do things to her hamster.
Now im NOT saying dont fck your girl. Im saying dont make it that huge priority.
Hit her ovulation cycle hard.

Ever notice the guys bragging when they meet their woman about secs dsy and night at the beginning yet these same dudes 1 year later are "asking" for secs.
Every single time you escalate with a women and your denied you lose value.

The term woman often say was coined for a reason.
"Take me" i want a man to take me.
Another translation would be.
"I want a man who gets it"
Same fckng thing in girl world.
 

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CopperHead

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I know this hard for some to comprehend especially younger lads.
It kills desire when you get too much of something.
Easily will become obligation secs. Keep it secs of desire. Withholding your seed from her will do things to her hamster.
Now im NOT saying dont fck your girl. Im saying dont make it that huge priority.
Hit her ovulation cycle hard.

Ever notice the guys bragging when they meet their woman about secs dsy and night at the beginning yet these same dudes 1 year later are "asking" for secs.
Every single time you escalate with a women and your denied you lose value.

The term woman often say was coined for a reason.
"Take me" i want a man to take me.
Another translation would be.
"I want a man who gets it"
Same fckng thing in girl world.
Makes sense. So in other words scarcity creates value. Too much secs diminishes value. Eventually this leads to your girl rejecting your attempts which diminishes your value. I hate to admit that I have experiences of this happening to me. I suppose the answer to this is to spin multiple plates so that you receive secs from multiple sources and not the same plate every time.
 

stringpuller

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Makes sense. So in other words scarcity creates value. Too much secs diminishes value. Eventually this leads to your girl rejecting your attempts which diminishes your value. I hate to admit that I have experiences of this happening to me. I suppose the answer to this is to spin multiple plates so that you receive secs from multiple sources and not the same plate every time.
Yes you can spin if that's your situation. Or for an LTR guy the balance is trickier. Their is definitely more at stake.
I too have made these mistakes. And after years of trial and error and many girls you start to understand a few things.
Then being here is a big big bonus to piece your personal puzzle pieces together.

The next step will be it fuses into your natural way and it becomes nature.
That's the goal. Its not like your thinking about it later but at the beginning it is fruitful to pay attention until internalization starts to root.
Another point ill add here is that everyone's frequency model is different. When you meet a girl and its physical. Pay attention to her meter and adjust yours to .5 to a .75 of hers.
That way as you get to know her better the desire level will stay at a higher level for as long as it naturally can.
Good luck
 

bcude

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I understand the other points. Why is this too much fcking?
There's no thing such as too much fvcking if you don't have other goals of course, like holding hands or knitting.
You're not doing the girl a favour by fvcking her.... and it's not the reason why girls lose interest after a year like this other poster is trying to say.
You go after what you want as a man and that usually means sex if you're a normal healthy male, now if she doesn't want to provide the pvssy to you, you go after another one who is more willing since she's trying to play power games with you at that point in a long term relationship. It's your attention that holds value which can create scarcity in this case, not the amount of sex. It will only work in your favour since women especially bond during sex when their brain is flooded by oxytocin which will strengthen your connection.
 

stringpuller

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There's no thing such as too much fvcking if you don't have other goals of course, like holding hands or knitting.
You're not doing the girl a favour by fvcking her.... and it's not the reason why girls lose interest after a year like this other poster is trying to say.
You go after what you want as a man and that usually means sex if you're a normal healthy male, now if she doesn't want to provide the pvssy to you, you go after another one who is more willing since she's trying to play power games with you at that point in a long term relationship. It's your attention that holds value which can create scarcity in this case, not the amount of sex. It will only work in your favour since women especially bond during sex when their brain is flooded by oxytocin which will strengthen your connection.
You are saying the same thing im telling him in other words.
Notice i told him its not about fcking its about making it not a priority all the time.
What i said is true 100% with out 1 doubt.
I assumed the OP had shyt going on in his life
if i have to point that out to him something core is off. Sex wont help him.
Next time call me out directly if you want to regurgitate my advice and spit it back out and try to sideways dig.

OP what i said about sex is true. You will burn it out and it CAN be burnt out.

Bcude try eating the same cheeseburger for 2 weeks strait everyday and let me know what happens to your human appetite. Grow some balls dude.
 

stringpuller

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Every single time you escalate with a women and your denied you lose value.
Let me clarify this phrase for those that need it. I mean not your personal value. That should always be there.( options, mojo, etc etc) but im referring to the value of the push pull of desire of the sexual dynamic.
Physical fullfillment etc etc.
This can become numb in and of itself but then can lead to OTHER beta type responses to get secs and which will trun into more rejections and then further lead to secsless LTR.
In plate theory you just drop and rotate until reception. We all get that....that's easy.
What's a real challenge is maintaining desire long term or consistently while maintaining the fact that she can be replaced regardless of level of committment.
It starts from day 1 and secs is just part of the overall frame.
As soon as your woman starts to give you reasons that repel your desire for intimacy a serious red flag should go up.
Something is off. Level 5 off.
Im not talking while she is sick in bed or whatever physical ailments I'm talking normal day to day life.

In a rare moment of overt communication years back a certain woman told me if a girl ever tells you she has a headache to not have secs. Shes fcking lying to you. She was serious.
 
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