Having hailed from college and a career in sales, I've gained some insight on building rapport with people.
I don't pander with the typical reading eyes, etc sort of stuff, because frankly, if the prospect is lackluster at BEST, it isn't worth my time, or my dime.
Yes, NLP helps reprogram me, and it helps create the questions and marketing I use each and everyday.
Go for the person. The personality! Get through the Bs. The lipstick, the high heels, the skirts, whatever. It's all just clothes anyways.
A great tactic in running a conversation for your shy types follows...
Keep up with KEY words she says. Focus on the MAJOR words. If she mentions a name, use that to feed it back to her, ask questions or lay out C&F.
First and foremost, this keeps the Rapport Snoball rolling.
The worst thing to do with ANY conversation is be listening to them and immediately jump to a QUESTION you believe you should ask or a TOPIC you believe you should chat about.
For instance...
She: I was just in Florida for vacation with my family.
You: Key "Florida" What part of Florida.
She: South Beach.
You: South Beach. Did you go to join Girls Gone Wild?
Etc...The conversation is meant to be FUN. Think FUN and focus on spins of keywords. If you do this consistently you'll be amazed at how often you can GET in rapport with someone and it will just start coming naturally.
Many times I've been networking with business owners 2-3x my age and found it awkward unless we talk about sports, golf, or the local region, normal bs stuff. However, you can really an understanding of their business by going this route. In effect, that's what conversation is anyway. Discovering more about them, uncovering treasures lost in their minds through what they say.
Secondly. FUN. Thinking Positive Things. Positive Feelings.
A person will "anchor" to you the initial experiences they have with you. So if you start LETTING them get negative, then they will associate their needs and feelings toward you as that type of person and will ONLY come around when they do. How many of us have a friend like that whom will let us go to them OR used to let us do that in our younger years?
MANY.
And it's ok, to an extent. But never let it become a crutch. Never let a relationship be built on one thing but...MUTUAL INTEREST AND FUN. If there's NEED, now you have a relationship built on Slave/Master, Dependency, etc. All negative emotions.
So just don't do it. If they're negative, pull back. The bottom line is, it's ok to worry, but excessive worrying does nothing but contribute to the wealth of Tums and Pepto Bismal. Stop worrying and take action.
Courage is linked to the BS Mast and Rapport in that, NOTHING is good until we use it. Wealth. Education. Sex. Nothing is good until action is committed.
So with your holster loaded, observe the filly you spy, find something cute about her to mention, or just SAY HI in a qwirky way.
I've never been one to be so bent out of shape about WHAT to say, because there's no right or wrong thing. Instead I go with the following philosophy that truly helps all else.
"It's my life, my reality, and this JOURNEY will be fun. I seek to meet enjoyable, fun people who contribute to an uplifting experience. If a woman strips away from that, I will disengage and move to the next one. If she supports that, then I will see where the conversation goes from there. She always has to maintain 50/50, because this is my life as much as it is hers, and while I take control, she still has a RESPECTFUL say in all we do."
It works like a charm, particularly if you drill such BELIEFS into daily, either on 3 x 5 cards, a diary, or some other form of transcription. You see, the negative realities we carry with us don't just EVAPORATE when we want. To counter the programming of years, possibly decades, we must ReProgram via constant POSITIVE PROGRAMMING. Remember, we can believe whatever we want, why not believe positive things that support our goals?
.02 Coutresy of A-Unit
I don't pander with the typical reading eyes, etc sort of stuff, because frankly, if the prospect is lackluster at BEST, it isn't worth my time, or my dime.
Yes, NLP helps reprogram me, and it helps create the questions and marketing I use each and everyday.
Go for the person. The personality! Get through the Bs. The lipstick, the high heels, the skirts, whatever. It's all just clothes anyways.
A great tactic in running a conversation for your shy types follows...
Keep up with KEY words she says. Focus on the MAJOR words. If she mentions a name, use that to feed it back to her, ask questions or lay out C&F.
First and foremost, this keeps the Rapport Snoball rolling.
The worst thing to do with ANY conversation is be listening to them and immediately jump to a QUESTION you believe you should ask or a TOPIC you believe you should chat about.
For instance...
She: I was just in Florida for vacation with my family.
You: Key "Florida" What part of Florida.
She: South Beach.
You: South Beach. Did you go to join Girls Gone Wild?
Etc...The conversation is meant to be FUN. Think FUN and focus on spins of keywords. If you do this consistently you'll be amazed at how often you can GET in rapport with someone and it will just start coming naturally.
Many times I've been networking with business owners 2-3x my age and found it awkward unless we talk about sports, golf, or the local region, normal bs stuff. However, you can really an understanding of their business by going this route. In effect, that's what conversation is anyway. Discovering more about them, uncovering treasures lost in their minds through what they say.
Secondly. FUN. Thinking Positive Things. Positive Feelings.
A person will "anchor" to you the initial experiences they have with you. So if you start LETTING them get negative, then they will associate their needs and feelings toward you as that type of person and will ONLY come around when they do. How many of us have a friend like that whom will let us go to them OR used to let us do that in our younger years?
MANY.
And it's ok, to an extent. But never let it become a crutch. Never let a relationship be built on one thing but...MUTUAL INTEREST AND FUN. If there's NEED, now you have a relationship built on Slave/Master, Dependency, etc. All negative emotions.
So just don't do it. If they're negative, pull back. The bottom line is, it's ok to worry, but excessive worrying does nothing but contribute to the wealth of Tums and Pepto Bismal. Stop worrying and take action.
Courage is linked to the BS Mast and Rapport in that, NOTHING is good until we use it. Wealth. Education. Sex. Nothing is good until action is committed.
So with your holster loaded, observe the filly you spy, find something cute about her to mention, or just SAY HI in a qwirky way.
I've never been one to be so bent out of shape about WHAT to say, because there's no right or wrong thing. Instead I go with the following philosophy that truly helps all else.
"It's my life, my reality, and this JOURNEY will be fun. I seek to meet enjoyable, fun people who contribute to an uplifting experience. If a woman strips away from that, I will disengage and move to the next one. If she supports that, then I will see where the conversation goes from there. She always has to maintain 50/50, because this is my life as much as it is hers, and while I take control, she still has a RESPECTFUL say in all we do."
It works like a charm, particularly if you drill such BELIEFS into daily, either on 3 x 5 cards, a diary, or some other form of transcription. You see, the negative realities we carry with us don't just EVAPORATE when we want. To counter the programming of years, possibly decades, we must ReProgram via constant POSITIVE PROGRAMMING. Remember, we can believe whatever we want, why not believe positive things that support our goals?
.02 Coutresy of A-Unit
