couldn't get it up / second date

[self-respect]

Hi guys. Met this woman last weekend and took her out on a date yesterday. Went great, she's exactly my type, and ended up banging her. 2 problems came up though:

1. I couldn't get it up. Started losing my cool because of it, but she was nice, smiled and said "don't worry, it's okay" a few times even though all we had was 5 minutes of bad sex with bad ***** eating too because of nerves, lack of comfort, poor skills, whatever. I smoothed it out and we made out again before she left, and texted her to say I had a great time and she said she did too. I can also work my way around getting better at eating her out, but is there anything to help with the big problem? I talked with my buddy and he said it was probably cause I jacked off the night before and twice the morning of. Makes sense. Don't jack off until when I see her next weekend? **** ring? Viagra? Mental issues? If the sex isn't good the next time, I doubt any woman would wait around after two bad times at the beginning.

2. Dating's never been my thing before. What's the goal for a second date? More of the same - laughing, having fun, seeing if we actually like each other, and setting the frame? Also, how have you found it best to handle the build-up to the second date? I can't get together with her again until next weekend, and she knows about my busy schedule, but I'm torn between calling her once mid-week to chat and set things up, or calling/texting to let her know I'm thinking of her tomorrow and then again later in the week. I don't want to fall into the pattern of always contacting her first, and there's the line of thinking that she has to miss you when she's not with you, but things are complicated by my disappointing performance yesterday. Any advice?

Every tip is appreciated!

 

[Down Low]

It's actually pretty common for a man to not be able to complete the act the first time with a new woman. To get around that issue, I suggest that you get some 20 mg cialis online and pop one right before you leave for the date. Side effects include stuffy nose and some shortness of breath; but then, it's always a good idea to stay in good aerobic fitness anyway.

Many men have sex every night. Hand job, blow job, or whatever: last night doesn't interfere with tonight.

Sex gets much better after the first or second go.

Almost all women get around enough to understand that men are too quick or get soft on the first go. Women don't expect to get an orgasm from a ONS or new guy. Women want to get picked up by a new guy because they absolutely cannot resist whatever gives them attention, to get their ego stroked, to have the fun of the adventure, for revenge, daddy issues, etc., next, and maybe fifth or sixth on the list is to get an orgasm.

 

[bigneil]

Yes any time I jumped in bed with a girl within an hour of meeting that happened. At age 19 and age 41.

It's not that you're not turned on as much as you become turned off the minute you try to put it in. It's like a safety valve so we don't do women we haven't checked out yet.

If I have more than 3 drinks (or do certain stimulants) I have issues too - even with a girl I am dying to be with. Does happen more as you get older I'm afraid. Also, their attitude can affect you. If she has a "hurry up" attitude it can cause stage fright.

 

[Jair213]

Go to the gym, leg press and squat. It has turn me into a fuuckk machine, staying hard as a rock.

 

[Mike32ct]

Absolutely do NOT whack off prior to your next date. I made that mistake too many times. Stay away from porn too.

Some exercise helps too.

 

[self-respect]

Thanks fellas. Looking it over, I've decided I'm going to walk the line between acknowledging it happened if it's brought up in conversation again (by her) so it doesn't become something that's taboo to talk about, but not dwelling on it being important and not changing anything about how I handle the situation going forward. Basically, "yeah it happened, but big whoop cause it's in the past and it won't affect things since I'll give it to her good outside of that." I don't plan on thinking about it on my end other than really making me get my sh!t together for the next time she's over. Anyone think this is a bad way to handle it?

 

[Korrupt]

Hi guys. Met this woman last weekend and took her out on a date yesterday. Went great, she's exactly my type, and ended up banging her. 2 problems came up though:

1. I couldn't get it up. Started losing my cool because of it, but she was nice, smiled and said "don't worry, it's okay" a few times even though all we had was 5 minutes of bad sex with bad ***** eating too because of nerves, lack of comfort, poor skills, whatever. I smoothed it out and we made out again before she left, and texted her to say I had a great time and she said she did too. I can also work my way around getting better at eating her out, but is there anything to help with the big problem? I talked with my buddy and he said it was probably cause I jacked off the night before and twice the morning of. Makes sense. Don't jack off until when I see her next weekend? **** ring? Viagra? Mental issues? If the sex isn't good the next time, I doubt any woman would wait around after two bad times at the beginning.

Don't sweat it too much. This sort of thing happens to every guy and it happens a lot. Porn and Hollywood has f*cked up our perception of sexual reality by making it seem like men are always ready to "go" at a moments notice. Sorry, but unless you're on boner pills (like all the guys in porn), you won't be able to perform like them - i.e with a random chick, on a set, in front of a camera and crew.

2. Dating's never been my thing before. What's the goal for a second date? More of the same - laughing, having fun, seeing if we actually like each other, and setting the frame? Also, how have you found it best to handle the build-up to the second date? I can't get together with her again until next weekend, and she knows about my busy schedule, but I'm torn between calling her once mid-week to chat and set things up, or calling/texting to let her know I'm thinking of her tomorrow and then again later in the week. I don't want to fall into the pattern of always contacting her first, and there's the line of thinking that she has to miss you when she's not with you, but things are complicated by my disappointing performance yesterday. Any advice?

Every tip is appreciated!

A second date should be a more chill and easier first date.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Had the same problem, I suggest you to avoid the porno and the masturbation too but keep also in mind that it depends on your head for two reasons.

If you feel anxiety first and if you are not that much aroused second.
It happens to everybody and she probably knows dont worry, anyway the point is that if you jack off at jackhammer speed the previous day while wathing two 18yrs old swedish models doing dirty things, you cannot expect to be aroused from a normal girl with a kinda chubby ass and a little bit of belly or a plain face.

Anyway dont worry if she is not coming anymore (which I doubt cause her ego expect you to get hard for her and will push her to try again), you managed to have sex with a girl and it means
you know what you are doing and thats much more than the other average guy in this century.

 

[self-respect]

A second date should be a more chill and easier first date.

Cool. My phone game really sucks (quick 2 minute "what's new?" "I can't stay long but let's get together this weekend" convos) but she's coming over again this weekend. We'll see how it goes.

I suspect the answer to this is reading her vibe, but generally after a first date lay, have most of you found the girl wanting to go right back into getting fcked, or is it the same spending some time outside together, having fun and then bringing her back to my place to "relax" / escalate?

 

[self-respect]

I suspect the answer to this is reading her vibe, but generally after a first date lay, have most of you found the girl wanting to go right back into getting fcked, or is it the same spending some time outside together, having fun and then bringing her back to my place to "relax" / escalate?

Anyone have any advice?

 

[loveshogun]

Anyone have any advice?

Anxiety kills boners. Just try to be as relaxed as possible.

Random suggestions because I don't feel like organizing:

- Get more practice with your tongue, hands, fingers
- Try not to have sex TOO late at night, because the tiredness from the day can affect your ability to get a boner (minor effect if you're really turned on, but still noticeable)
- Longer foreplay can help, in my experience.
- If you want to please her, let her guide you. If she was cool enough about the first time, she probably won't have an issue telling you how to hit her spot.
- Don't make getting your wang in your goal. That's what killed your boner in the first place.

She wants to have sex with you. You're doing alright. Just keep her pleased, and you'll get more comfortable.

 

[C-quenced]

I think your main problem is having an overabundance of porno and jerking off too much. STOP IT altogether and 99.99% of your erection problem will be solved. It may take you weeks if not months for your mind and body to normalize itself. You'll not only notice your sex drive and energy levels go through the roof but you'll have a PHENOMENAL increase in sensitivity and never again would getting an erection and keeping it would become an issue.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/

The rest is simply to just let go and enjoy one of life's greatest pleasures. Ironically staying off the porn and masturbation sets this anxiety thing to auto fix itself.