"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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couldn't find it.

Crazy Asian

Master Don Juan
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so i was about to fvck this girl.
then i couldn't find it.
it took like 20 min.
then when i got barely inside her, she said it hurt.

so EPIC FAIL.
although i honestly did not feel embarassed at all.
help on wut to do next time?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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3countriesPlan

Master Don Juan
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OK here is a good way to find a *****hole... on uh chicks over 18 that is.. ha
Cup her crotch like how you palm a basketball.. then since a normal girls ***** is in the middle ( dear God I hope I dont meet one that has a *****hole on her thigh) then use the underside of your middle finger to rub up and down. The contact will start to get her wet and the lips will split easier.. then the **** will become more obvious and voila
*****hole located just south:D
 

SmoothTalker

Master Don Juan
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Lol wtf? I never knew it was that hard to find... I mean its right between her legs. Did she have an epic bush you had to dig through? Or are you just trying to have sex in complete darkness?
 

sadora

Don Juan
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oh them eager high school days plagued by those dreadful words..."that's not it"

next time just remember to relax, enjoy the moment and like a blind man try to find your way around with your hands.

oh, and in the wise words of Nina Hartley..."A dry finger and a dry ***** is not foreplay."
 

Single_Sucks

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if you just start making the in-out movements against her general area then a.) you will stay hard enough and b.) you will find yourself slipping in in no time.

After all, she can realign her hips to meet you aswell.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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