Met this girl a few weeks ago, met up and had drinks with her two weeks ago. Everything was fine, she kept calling and texting me first after our date.....I said to her (think it was a mistake) "I would like to see you again". She didn't give a hard date and I didn't press. All of a sudden, she stopped contacting and texting me. So I waited for like four days and called her, she called me back and I said "Let's hang out Friday". Since it was Thursday, she said she couldn't cause she already had made plans. I left it at "Alright, I'll call you Sunday or something and we can maybe hang out next week. She said "Okay, but before I leave to my parents for xmas". So here is Tuesday, and I still havent contacted her. I didn't like the fact that she didn't offer another day when I asked her out. I also didn't like the fact she went from calling and texting almost everyday to nothing. Should I just forget about this one? Or should I do what I said, which was call this week before she left on her vacation.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Could use some advice with this crazy chick....
- Thread starter Falcon25
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Call her whenever you feel like hanging out. Don't get caught up in her games. You should be in control and run any game playing that is going on. 
When you ask her out do it like this:
"Hey I'm going to xyz to do _____. It's going to be great!. Would you like to come along?"
Give her the impression that you are a fun guy going to do something awesome with or without her. (Which you should be doing anyway)
If she says yes, great.
If she says no or has other plans just simply say "Okay bye!". No "talk to you later" or "see you soon". If she makes an effort to reschedule then fine.
Otherwise don't contact her again unless she initiates first.
In the meantime don't even think about her for a second. If you do, slap yourself in the face hard! If you do it again slap yourself harder.
You'll learn quickly.
When you ask her out do it like this:
"Hey I'm going to xyz to do _____. It's going to be great!. Would you like to come along?"
Give her the impression that you are a fun guy going to do something awesome with or without her. (Which you should be doing anyway)
If she says yes, great.
If she says no or has other plans just simply say "Okay bye!". No "talk to you later" or "see you soon". If she makes an effort to reschedule then fine.
Otherwise don't contact her again unless she initiates first.
In the meantime don't even think about her for a second. If you do, slap yourself in the face hard! If you do it again slap yourself harder.
You'll learn quickly.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Mistake #1. You followed bad advice from someone in not capturing and consolidating her HIGH interest level after the first date. IF a woman is texting and calling you, she wants ANOTHER date because she found you exciting/attractive. Why did you act so aloof ?Falcon25 said:
Was is it because you believed that it would amp up her IL even more ?
Mistake #2. You stopped leading. "SHe didn't give me a hard date and I didn't press." THat statement indicates that you were looking to her to set up the second meet - WRONG move. IT is YOUR job to initiate everything until she is exacty where you want her to be - that would be either under your spell, or 100% gone.
Mistake #3. When you sensed her putting distance between you ( she went silent) you tried to close the gap by contacting her (this is a panic move) but by then she has started making "other plans" ( perhaps seeing other guys)
SO now you have lost the frame ( not that you had one of any worth in the first place) and you are are in a situation wher she is possibly looking elsewhere.
Mistake #4, YOu have wrongly assumed that her high IL after the first date was enough to place you as "the prize" in her mind and that she would then chase you. THis is a common mistake make by the gullible who read PUA material.
Women have huge (and very fragile ) egos and unless they feel that you are returning their affections and actively pursuing them after they express interest in you, they will withdraw fairly quickly to protect their egos.
THis one might be salvageable BUT you have to step up and go GET her instead of sitting around waiting for 'signs' from her. She sent you plenty of those after the first date. That was the time to take charge. BE bold.
Hi Jophil,
thanks for the advice. So I did go bold and said fuvk it and tried one more time...I texted and said "Hey, wanna grab some dinner tomorrow night, are you in town" She immediately called me on the phone to tell me that she was leaving tomorrow morning for a trip to see her mom for xmas. I acted like it didn't even bother me and said I understand it's the holidays. But she sounded very interested and said she had been craving Mongolian food forever and that she was bummed she was leaving but said she will call or text me when she gets back on Sunday. I said cool, no worries, we can do it next weekend then. So if she comes back and doesn't contact me I will write her off, I want to give it one last shot because it is the holidays and people are very busy. So we will se what happens this weekend. Thanks very much for taking time to write about this. You think that was good sign that she called me back to personally tell me she couldn't? After all, I did text cause I thought I wouldn't hear from her.
thanks for the advice. So I did go bold and said fuvk it and tried one more time...I texted and said "Hey, wanna grab some dinner tomorrow night, are you in town" She immediately called me on the phone to tell me that she was leaving tomorrow morning for a trip to see her mom for xmas. I acted like it didn't even bother me and said I understand it's the holidays. But she sounded very interested and said she had been craving Mongolian food forever and that she was bummed she was leaving but said she will call or text me when she gets back on Sunday. I said cool, no worries, we can do it next weekend then. So if she comes back and doesn't contact me I will write her off, I want to give it one last shot because it is the holidays and people are very busy. So we will se what happens this weekend. Thanks very much for taking time to write about this. You think that was good sign that she called me back to personally tell me she couldn't? After all, I did text cause I thought I wouldn't hear from her.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Yes, she is still interested. The hint about Mongolian food is her way to telling you that she wants to see you, at night, in a dinner setting and she wants YOU to set up the occasion. She wants to be dated by you... Green light.Falcon25 said:
My guess is that she really could not care about the origins of the food so much as she wants you to press down on the gas and shift up one gear.
Next time this happens, strike decisively. All that PUA crap about "waiting five days not to appear desperate" is nonsense. I always contact a new woman within 48 hours.
This woman went quiet because you did not return her enthusiasm when she was texting and calling after the first date,. Can you blame her? SHe was sending you a stream of buying signals and you were snoozing. She concluded that you were not very interested.
Do NOT wait for her to contact you when she returns. Take the reins, find a cool Chinese/Mongolian Restaurant and design a date. Call her and tell her what you have arranged . Alternatively get hold of a Mongolian cookbook and do some warp speed practise .Dinner at your dojo ?
The whole point here is that you need to DRIVE this forward and not wait for her to feed you daily signs of interest to keep you reassured that she is a willing participant.
Good hunting, soldier.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.