"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Could use a witty response and some advice

TheBaconator

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This situation is probably shot as most of you will say when reading the convo i'm in the middle of with this girl, but hey i'm gonna try my luck.

The situation, I got this girls num, she had lots of interest, but I ended up making a fool of myself on the phone with her after having one too many. I went to the store and gave her an apology note which seemed to go over well. Or so I thought. Now, a couple days later, I text her and i'm now in the middle of this convo.

ME: Hey stranger...I believe i'm still owed an explanation for last weekend.
HER: I owe you an explanation?
ME: Well I did leave u a voicemail. Relax though i'm just breaking balls. Everythin ok, I member you mentioning kidney stones when I was at the store.
HER: K
ME: K? That's it? Guess I will be avoiding your line from now on.
HER: No I just think you acted very immaturely
ME: I kno =( it was a rough night. But dont I get any points for the apology note.
HER: Ok so u shoulda never called like that.
ME: I kno, but hey we all make mistakes. I'm sincerely sorry for being so rude. No sober person deserves to hear an hour of my drunk blabber.
HER: Ok hun
ME: Now you got me feelin all guilty. You should let me make it up to you sometime. Hard as it may be to believe, I can be a good guy at times.
HER: Don't its ok

Sounds dead right? I'm hoping to pull one out of my ass here, so anyone have any ideas of a witty response to get her back with and deliver the message that i wont bother her anymore but if she changes her mind she has my num?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Warrior74

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She's not interested. Move on.

You came off as needy from the very first line. You did everything wrong.

BTW stay off IM if you already moved to phone. It's going backwards and personality, tone, humor is hard to see on IM. Don't be afraid of talking to girls on the phone.

Now it's your job for you to break this convo down line by line and see how you came off as needy. If you can't see it, say so and let us show you. But don't get mad at the advice given.
 

kokane

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Spot on warrior74. You screwed this dude. You lost her interest. Ignore her for the time being. Let her miss you.
 

TheBaconator

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Well I ended up responding before I saw responses, and you'll probably say I dug the hole a bit deeper lol.

ME: Ok cool. But my offer still stands. I can understand you not wanting to have much to do with me, but if you change ur mind you got my number.

Wow, after typing it again and rereading it I've dug the hole, been buried and am decomposing. Close the book on this one.

Warrior, I'm very open to your comments and critiques about my approach on this. My personality is very comical, so I was really trying to game it from that angle and play it off as a stupid mistake.

But I guess I'd say I put her on too much of a pedestal with my apology bs. I showed too much weakness in that, but I didn't really know any other ways of reigniting that interest. Obviously I failed miserably, but hey live and ya learn.

I look forward to your comments so I can use this as a learning experience.
 

Warrior74

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Over text message personality/humor is hard unless the person knows you well. If she doesn't it falls flat and they take it at face value. I didn't even see one smiley face :) :p ;) in any of your convo lines. So she took it as it read on the page. It's up to her imagination to fill in your tone and intent and if she already was pissed at you, guess what tone and intent she created for herself. On forums and on chat, you create the voice in your head for the words you read. You don't know me so the voice you are hearing right now is one you are making up yourself. I can adjust it with :) or !!!!! OR ALL CAPS, but it's still your own interpretation of my voice. That is why IM and email sucks until after you know a person. Then you have an idea of what they mean when you know their personality well. No IMs. Number and phone and face to face from now on! :)


since you won't man up and do it yourself... my interpretation of the situation.


ME: Hey stranger...I believe i'm still owed an explanation for last weekend.

HER: I owe you an explanation? (I don't owe you shiit! Who the hell do you think you are my dad?)


ME: Well I did leave u a voicemail. (needy) Relax though i'm just breaking balls. Everythin ok, I member you mentioning kidney stones when I was at the store. (needy, trying to connect on a past convo to show you are interested, she knows you are interested, try hard and needy)

HER: K (whatever, I'm done, you can stop talking now)

ME: K? That's it? Guess I will be avoiding your line from now on. (weak,begging)

HER: No I just think you acted very immaturely (honesty, she saying your like a little kid who have no game, when a woman is overt in her communication it means she's failed at being covert, this means go away)

ME: I kno =( it was a rough night. But dont I get any points for the apology note. (still begging for her attention and approval)

HER: Ok so u shoulda never called like that. (punishing you for being lame and for not going away, btw did you notice you got no points for the note?)

ME: I kno, but hey we all make mistakes. I'm sincerely sorry for being so rude. No sober person deserves to hear an hour of my drunk blabber. (apologizing, still begging and putting yourself down, that never makes you look good)

HER: Ok hun (You can stop talking to me now, we are done)

ME: Now you got me feelin all guilty. You should let me make it up to you sometime. Hard as it may be to believe, I can be a good guy at times. (still begging for attention and approval, she knows your a "Good Guy" aka Lame, you haven't showed any badboy traits at all.)

HER: Don't its ok (I don't want to see you, now please go away)

Do you understand how you presented yourself? You told her she was the prize, you gave her all of the power. You were her slave for the taking, she doesn't want a slave. Or as the saying goes, she already has a pvssy, why does she need two?

Better luck next time.

edit. I gotta stop skimming threads.

The damn apology note was the most AFC thing ever. WTF man? Never apologize for jack **** unless its something major, like sleeping with her mom and dog and grandma at the same time (in which case, they all wanted it, who could blame you? Damn sexy grandma...er...um yah, :) no apology notes) WTF?

The AFC is strong with this one.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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omega05

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come on man how are you getting worked up over a female you met in line at a grocery store? more fish in the sea
 

Ease

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Yea you begged and pleaded way too much.

Say sorry once if you must but only once and say it powerfully. You've lost it as soon as you give the power over to the girl.

She was acting very rude and you kept begging, you should have pulled back and made her chase!

Well I did leave u a voicemail. Relax though i'm just breaking balls. Everythin ok, I member you mentioning kidney stones when I was at the store.
You made it too easy for her, "relax". Giving all the power!

ME: Now you got me feelin all guilty. You should let me make it up to you sometime. Hard as it may be to believe, I can be a good guy at times.
And since when do girls want a 'Good Guy'. This was wussy.

ME: Ok cool. But my offer still stands. I can understand you not wanting to have much to do with me, but if you change ur mind you got my number.
This was not good at all, begging and wussyness to the extreme.

Im afraid this may be lost cause, but god if she contacts you drop the niceguy act immediatly its not working at all!

'Yea i called you, i was drunk haha, sorry about that no idea what happened. So whats up?'

Tada.
 

TheBaconator

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Solid posts, you guys are dead on. Deleted the number already and if she does end up hitting me up down the road i'll show no interest cuz you guys are right, she was overreacting, i'm a man, and when I wanna get fcked up i'll do so.
 
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