could use a tad bit of advice

[backbreaker]

Okay, there was this woman that I posted about around 3 months ago, she contacted me out of the blue after 2 years and to make a long story short, she is still with her BF right now.

I can't get into alot of details, simply because it wouldn't do any good, but to make it short and sweet, we get along great, we know each other like the back of our hands and I really do care about her. Not some childish I have a crush on you an I can't live without her care about her, but regardless of what happends if anything between us, I really do what whats best for her (It just so happends that I believe that I am what's best for her).

Okay, we always talk usually 1 time a week; she does have a BF, I have a nice flow of women I see on a weekly basis, and i work more than the average person and so does she so we don't really have time to see each other or for that fact talk. However, ever since this time last week, she has been calling me alot more often then she did. I know part of it was because of her situtation with her dad, which I will not get into because it's extremely personal, but I am the only person who knows about it besides her so I helped her with her problem. However that was just one of many phone calls.

Getting to the point, she has all of the signs of a girl looking for prospects before breaking up with her current BF, and honestly I am not suprised. Wanting to know about my personal life, openly flirting with me and other men, etc. I don't have to list all of the signs becuase I know them, I am not here to figure out if she is thinking of leaving her BF, that I already know. Nor am I am trying to give her a push out of the door.

She recently asked me to talk her out this weekend if I wasn't busy. I am not really scared to "loose her" becuase well, I don''t have her, but she does mean alot to me, more so then the average women I pick up off of the street.

I would say we are about on the same boat looks wise, both very attractive people who get attention from the opposite sex, so I am not intimiated by her.

All I really want to know, and I think I know the answer, is should I start laying the groundwork for making my move NOW, or should I wait until she has left her BF? I can come up with pros and cons for both, but it looks like she is giving me the landing signal and if she is I don't want to take a detor.

 

[NewMan]

Here is the thing - if she takes the 'backbreaker' ride - then how does that make her look. How do you feel about the fact that she is hooking up with you whilst she still has not broken up with her BF.

Do you even care?

It really boils down to you and whether your cool with having an LTR with a chick who does that..... because that could bring up some character implications.

 

[backbreaker]

well, I didn't say I would have sex with her, because I wouldn't. She would feel and I would feel pretty bad aftewards.

More importantly, she could always say that "I broke them up", and I don't want to.

But that doesn't mean I can't prime her for it, and treat her like we are dating rather than being a good looking, close friend.

 

[NewMan]

you should always use your DJ skills anyways....

I wouldn't act like your dating her until you are. But that doesn't mean you can flirt with her and DJ her.

You still got to be a challenge.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Backbreaker, the problem is that you have too many girl ‘friends’!

Go after a woman that will be loyal to you if looking for LTR – she is not loyal to her man right now although she tells you otherwise – don’t believe her!

She is the typical American girl who is going around her current beau’s back and will only leave him once she is ‘assured’ that she has someone else – that means you!! You aren’t giving her strong enough signals that you will acquiesce to such an arrangement, so she is hesitant to leave dude.

I personally don’t trust a woman who talks to other dudes about her problems and who does not confide in her current b/f for such intimate and personal matters!! I know, you are good ‘friends’ – but as you already know but will not admit to – there is no such thing as girl and boy ‘friends’!!

You have mentioned in other threads that women and men can be friends but you bear witness that such an arrangement is only a prelude to an eventual deeper sexual encounter!

 

[backbreaker]

damn good post man, I appricate the advice:


1. My other girl "friends", I am pretty much sleeping with all of them execpt 2. There are 7 girls who I see on a regular basis and another 3 that I see from time to time, and then this girl.


2. About us talking about problems and whatnot, I have known her and we have been friends WAY before she had a BF, probably a year or so before, but I get your point and it's well taken.

3. What you said is a pretty new compecpt to me, but it made perfect sence. You are right, I do the sense that she is available for the right price. So you are saying that one of the only things keeping her with him is the fact that she doesn't have a "guarantee" per say, that makes pretty good sense.


i went bar hopping last night (didn't pick up any numbers, slow night) and right when I was leaving the last club, around 1am, this girl calls me and we talk for a mintue. We talked about alot of things, some extremely personal from her perspective, she asked me did I still want to take her to the club on saturday night. Somehow we got on the subject of looks and she told me that I was "alot cutier" then I was 2 years ago, which is no suprise to me.