could use a little advice

[backbreaker]

I haven't really been in the need for advice lately, but I have a little situtation that I am kinda unsure of, and could use alittle help.

Now, there is this girl I am sleeping around with. I was in LJBF land for the better part of 5 years, and earlier this year I somehow got out of it, and we started hooking up... thought about dating her but I dont' think I want to, that's a different story.

now, I didn't post it here, no reason to, but I had surgery on my right knee last week.. Nothing serious, but nevertheless I had to go under the knife.

The week before that, I hadn't talked to this one particular girl, mainly becaue I was working, and I am sure she had other crap going on in her life as well.

So I went in surgerylast week, and afterwards my mom made me stay at her house until I felt better and I could actually walk on my right leg. I didn't know I wasn't going home, so I didn't grab my cell phone went I left the house to go to the hospital. So from Wednesday of last week until Monday of this week, I haven't had my phone.

So this is two weeks I haven't talked to this girl.

Saturday, while checking my email, I sent her a very, very short message asking her why she had forgotten about me...

So she responds saying "NO, i have been sick, and very busy, and very busy with my EX BF"

Now why s he had to drop that last line in, I don't know.. sounds like she is fishing for attention, ,and I didn't bite because even then that statement made no sense.

So Monday, the first time I actually was awoke long enough to talk on the phone.. I called all of my friends and.. friends.. to let them know i was okay, and to let them know that my phone was at my house, etc.

So I call her and she says she is busy to call her back later that night...

Not a problem at all. So I call her back before I get ready to go to bed, and I ask is she still busy, she says she IS but asks me what's up and that she will talk to me. I tell her I will talk to her another time when she isn't as busy and hang up the phone.

So the next day I finally get to go home and I check my email that night and she emails me, seemilingy right after I had hung up the phone the night before and says something to the likes of "Sorry I couldn't talk on the phone, I had to go somewhere with my mom, her friend is having a bad marrage and they kicked his husband out of the house and she is afraid for the kids, and when I got home I had a very big term paper that was due and my mom and I are sharing the interent"

Now, rather she is telling the truth or not doesn't matter to me.. For the record I do believe what she is saying however.

What matters to me, is that over the last 2 weeks, it's like I just dropped off of the earth.

I don't know if it's a **** test or what.

Now, ,every other girl I was talking to was caring, supportive..one girl (woman) I was talking to even borught me some food over my mom's house, which was sweet. Didn't get so much as a "hope you feel better" from her or anything.

so here's the question I am faced with. I got a new phone with new service today... I am debating should I call her and give her my new phone number, or just say "you know what, **** it, you aren't wroth it"

What I THINK is she is either trying to get at her for not wanting to jump at the opprotunity to date her by taling to her EX, either that, or she really is back with her exx... which would explain alot since he never did like her talking to me.

the only thing is, **** buddy or not, we were pretty good friends, even before the sex... But I can always counter that, with how good of friends could she be if she can't even send a freakin email to say I hope you feel better when she knows you are sick.

Also, it's nothing for us to go 5-6 months without talking to each other.. for different reasons..has happend at least 3-4 times.



Just so you know:

1. We ARE, or WERE sleeping together

2. We have been friends, or at least we have known each other sicne I was 13 (but how close of friends can you be if she doesnt' call to wish well.. that and the fact that 5 years ago she stopped talking to me for 2 years because her BF told her to)

3. If I have to, I have no problems cutting off contact... I just don't know if I would be taking it overboard by doing so.
So it puts me in a sticky situtation. I know wha ti am leaning towards doing, but I figured.. hell, I have one of the best resorces ever in this board, why not get some great advice from some very wise people.

Thanks in advance.

 

[flexion_]

Well...

1) She isn't your GF so you shouldn't expect any sort of commitment by her on calling you.
2) Don't call a girl and ask them why they haven't called you - it makes you look weak.
3) Don't call women you are dating casually just to talk - only call them if you have something in person you want to do with them.
4) Whats the big deal if she doesn't call you in 2 weeks if you have gone 6 months without talking?

You are sounding like someone who is having problems in LTR yet you aren't even in one and making this very complicated.

 

[backbreaker]

1. You are right about that, but we were friends... very good friends, for over half my life.

2. I never did call her and ask her why didn't she call me.. I emailed her and told her I hadn't heard from her in a while. If I do call her, i'm not going to say something as lame as "why haven't you called me"... I was just going to give her my new phone number

3. Even though I agree wtih the rule, I'm not a newbie, and every rule doesn't have to be followed to a Tee.. If there is something interseting going on with her, or anyone else, and from time to time and I want or she or any other girl wants to talk aobu tit, I'm not going to not talk to her.

Just so you know, I despite telephones, if there is any one person on this forum that is against talking to women all day long, you are talking to him. I mean ,there are times if I may want to talk to a girl at night, but don't feel like getting my ass up at 12am to go and see a girl and I have to be up at 8 in the morning... Real life brings about real life situtations that aren't covered in the rule book.

But like I said, even with all that said, I have no probelm without talking to anyone on the phone.. I don't like talking on the phone.. my last GF critizised me because she said I was always trying to get rid of her on the p hone... Even this girl says that when I am on the phone I don't even stay on the phone long enough to say bye.. .which I don't

4. The first time we stopped talking to each other was because her BF at the time told her she doesn't need to talk to me.

2 years later, once we started talking again, she kept making ovbious moves towards me, and once I called her on it, she balked... I said **** it and to call me once you get your act together... That was about 3 months.

Last April, my last GF and I got in a big fight over her... She said she doesnt have a fighting chance iwth her in the picture... which wasn' ttrue, but I decided that the least I could do was give the girl what she considered a fighting chance...

Eventually, my EX hung herself with her own rope and my friend and i started talking again, ,and eventually stareted hooking up

None of thoose were "I don't give a damn about you" situtations like this one is.

I've nexted more girls than probably 90% of the members here... I don't put up with stupid women or crap... I guess it's different because I have known her for as long as I have, but you never know.

 

[backbreaker]

you know what, putting this down on paper.. well the interent and reading it did wonders...

Because I know this girl so well, I know exactly what she is doing. I also know that no matter what happens or what I tell her, we would start being friends or whatever in the near future.

I really think she is hooking back up with her EX.

so if that's the case, I guess I can just sit back, relax and wait for her to email me in a couple of months asking why I walked out on her.