Could this be over?

[betheman]

she sounds like a f cucking headcase/nightmare! get a mortgage with ehr and your real nightmare will begin. its seems all about her and what she wants, if she want a place of her own, let her sort it out.
just out of interest, what were her past relationships like?

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

she sounds like a f cucking headcase/nightmare! get a mortgage with ehr and your real nightmare will begin. its seems all about her and what she wants, if she want a place of her own, let her sort it out.
just out of interest, what were her past relationships like?

The only one I know of is her last b/f. Lasted 3 years until he went on a lads holiday and met someone new there. Came back, went stone cold on her then sent a text saying something on the lines of "found someone who's better looking and has a way better body than you". I've seen older photos of her from back then, this clearly directed her to the gym.

Other than that the only other thing I remember when we first started dating one of her close friends said to me "I'm happy she's met you, usually she goes for ass-holes". No idea whether she was referring to her ex or the other guys she dated.

 

[betheman]

Other than that the only other thing I remember when we first started dating one of her close friends said to me "I'm happy she's met you, usually she goes for ass-holes". No idea whether she was referring to her ex or the other guys she dated.

Makes sense, she has met the good guy, having a previous CV of going after the bad lads!!! she is what 29? she has had many years of bad boys, that doesnt go away, that desire will still burn deep within her, the last one was seeing her for a year more than you and he dumped her?

you are the security blanket, if she genuinly loved you, she wouldnt be such a bit ch. I dont see a good future with this one.

 

[The_411]

This will not end well. As mentioned earlier the mortgage thing is a massive red flag. The fact that you gave an alternative clearly shows that you respect her desires and you are willing to change the situation. The fact that she is adamantly against that shows she's not willing to respect your boundaries.

This one smells like she wants to get you pined down and then once a mortgage was in palce she'd screw you over and hook up with some guy.

It's more than reasonable to rent for first see how you work and then elect to go the mortage route. A woman of quality would agree to this because she also realizes that she needs to see if she can live with you.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

She has agreed to rent. After asking her about her long term views on a mortgage she responded by saying she will wait until I'm ready. Then after getting all upset saying all she wants to do is live with me, please don't break up with me bla bla bla.

Although doughts are beginning to sink in and I don't think she is looking at this a decent way. She is very close to her family that I think is cool, but I got the hint that she will be having them over a lot - there is no way that I'm going to have her nephews round every single weekend for long periods of time. Actually, the whole thing seems to be situated around her nephews rather than me, that is the main reason why she will not move into my place.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I got the hint that she will be having them over a lot - there is no way that I'm going to have her nephews round every single weekend for long periods of time.

The nephews are small children? She's using them as a surrogate. It looks like you are fighting her biological clock more than anything. The mortgage is just the first step toward marriage, and especially children, which is what she really wants. I hope you want babies, because that's what she wants.

 

[Desdinova]

The mortgage is just the first step toward marriage, and especially children, which is what she really wants. I hope you want babies, because that's what she wants.

This is a good point. You REALLY have to figure out what you want out of this chick. If you think that she would make a fantastic companion on your journey through life, then by all means move in together.

If you're moving in with her just because she's bytching about not living together, then you'd better think twice. If you truly have NO DESIRE to live with this woman and help her make babies, then you need to end this relationship NOW.

 

[perseverance]

It sounds like she is ready for a long term relationship with a house, the white picket fence and the 2.4 children, if you are not ready for that then you need to make it abundantly clear to her. You can't go through life trying to please other people at the expense of your own happiness, needs and wants.

 

[The_411]

Again, I don't want to be a Debbie downer, but it really seems like it's all about her.

Perhaps I'm too idealistic, but should you feel like the woman wants to move in with you to be with you and not for other reasons?

It almost seems like she's emotionally blackmailing you into getting married and having kids, by dictating terms.

For example she's ok to rent but now she's going to have the cousins and nephews etc come over all the time.

It's cool to have family involved but only to a point that's reasonable for you and it sounds like what she wants doesn't fit in with what you want.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

I think I've made my mind up.

I'm going to rent a place of my own (not shared ownership with family). Where I live now is too big of a place just for me. It can be rented out to someone else, more likely to a couple/family.

The cost of the rent income on my current accommodation will be greatly higher than the cost of my rent budget which will be a benefit to my family. If anything goes wrong with the building/fixtures we all tuck in and sort it out between us anyway. I'd love to live in an open planned modern apartment. I do not need all of this extra space.

It is true that I do not feel she is doing it be together. Her excited talk seems to be all about what to buy, what furniture to use etc. Rather than "could you imagine what it would be like to wake up together every day.".

I hated it when I first took a chick back to my place, she'd see my car and be surprised, then the house and be like "Oh my god!" then I tend to be nothing more than a fashion statement to them.