Could someone shed some light on my situation?

[DJCorleone]

Hey guys, have a situation, turning to you guys for advice.

I been seeing a woman now for 6+ months, met at my former workplace. Now she's a lot older than me and been married for 15+ years. She's told me she doesn't sleep with her husband, can't stand him etc. She also acts a lot younger than she is. Well here's my dilemma.

She calls me all the time, told me she loved me for the first time a short while ago, always wants to hang out, will come out whatever time of the day, the sex is great and very frequent, and she pays for a lot of things. However, I can't help but feel she might be stringing me along for her own amusement (after reading many threads on here)

What does the situation sound like to experienced DJs? Are my thoughts a lack of inner game, or are my thoughts grounded? Let me rephrase that she has said things like, she only wants me, love being with me etc.

I'll be willing to answer any questions on the relationship if it gives more clarity.

Thanks guys.

 

[WaRpEd]

:nervous: Be weary of breaking up marriages. :nervous:
Dangerous on many dimensions speaking on behalf of Karma or an angry gun wielding husband.

So wait...she is still married???

 

[DJCorleone]

Indeed. Am I possibly getting myself into big trouble? She has told me her husband has known for a number of months she's seeing someone else and they rarely talk...

 

[nateistoraw]

I think its against all that is good to breakup a marriage, no matter how hot she is, also, does she have kids?

 

[DJCorleone]

Yes, she has kids too.

 

[nateistoraw]

dude, are you crazy? Do you know the statistics for the children of divorced parents? Have you not looked up the statistics of "new daddy" effects on kids?

 

[DJCorleone]

dude, are you crazy? Do you know the statistics for the children of divorced parents? Have you not looked up the statistics of "new daddy" effects on kids?

No, what happens?

Then again I definitely won't be replacing their father, one of the sons is a year younger than me!

Damn, the more I write the crazier I feel.

 

[Tyson420]

If the kids are like really young like toddlers then you can replace the daddy, but if they are already teens they'll just be hostile.

It's not worth it.

 

[DJCorleone]

Can I reiterate I have absolutely no plans to father or even get to know these children? Ha.. I'm just wondering if this woman is playing me from what it sounds like?

 

[Igetit!]

Hey guys, have a situation, turning to you guys for advice.

I been seeing a woman now for 6+ months, met at my former workplace. Now she's a lot older than me and been married for 15+ years. She's told me she doesn't sleep with her husband, can't stand him etc. She also acts a lot younger than she is.

She told you she can't stand her husband.


Well that's not good...for YOU. Personally,I'm against sleeping with another man's wife. With all the women in the world,why would you get invovled with one who simply just being with her causes all kinds of unnecessary struggles and hardships?


And that's ON TOP OF dealing with the normal,sometimes unpredictable behavior that is women.



She "not being able to stand" her husband IS NOT good.



The only reason she's saying all these good things about you and everything seems *peaches and cream* is because of the "grass is greener" effect.



There's a comparasion here between you and her husband,but I can promise you...



If she were to get a divorce,then just have you all to herself,with no one to compare you to,sooner or later,YOU would start to get on her nerves.



When you two are together,it's all fun times,"hanging out",sex,buying you things,etc.



With her husband,she's a wife with wifely duties. Cooking,cleaning,taking care of her husband and her children.




So when you compare her being with you,which is all fun and games,with her life as a wife,of course you're going to come out on top. There's no responsibility with you,no commitment. She can come and go as she pleases.



She can't do that being married with children.




But let her marriage fall apart or her get divorced,then it's just the two of you with nothing else to compare it to.



You still think it'll be fun and sex all the time? You think she'll continue buying you things?




You said that she "only wants to be with you" and "loves being with you".


I'm sure she felt the same way about her husband on their wedding day as well.



And if her feeling changed with him,don't fool yourself into thinking that they can't change with you.



I'd rather she had no feelings at all for her husband than to can't stand him.



That means those "can't stand" emotions are THERE,present in her. And if you two spend enough time together and her marriage is truely over,then sooner or later you're going to do something or say something that causes those "can't stand" feeling to be expressed through behavior.




I wouldn't be surprised if you have already seen a possible glimpse of them,or felt as if she were trying to hide that behavior at anytime the two of you were together.



Like I said,I'm against intruding on marriages. So maybe one of the other members can give you the "insight" you're looking for.

 

[DJCorleone]

Yo igetit, thanks a lot, honestly. Everything you've said basically confirmed my doubts.

Could you do me one last favour and recommend how I should end it with her with least possible damage?

Fvck me you're right though...feel like a bit of a mug really.

 

[Igetit!]

Yo igetit, thanks a lot, honestly. Everything you've said basically confirmed my doubts.

Could you do me one last favour and recommend how I should end it with her with least possible damage?

It's been a while since I've seen a really hard question,but this one is rough.


Really,all you can do is just be honest with her. Tell her if she were single,you'd love to see her,but since she's married,she either needs to get a divorce or fix her marriage.


It sucks,but that's the way it is.



Just tell her you don't want to "share" a woman with NOBODY,that's she's either 100% yours or she's 100% gone.



More than likely,she WILL NOT believe you because you've been with her for the past 6 months knowing she had a husband,so why now all the sudden change?



That...is something you'll have to come up with.




Breakups are NEVER easy. I'm surprised you're considering doing it.
Most guys on the forum would say,"Who cares. Just bang her as long as you can".



It's like "Sex is number one over ALL THINGS. Who cares if she's married or not or if she has children,or if her husband could possibly try to kill you.
Screw all that. Just get the sex".



I don't care,they can do what they want.


To me,the having to deal with her emotional issues that are still going on with her husband,possibly having to deal with the husband himself,the children who may blame me for the cause of the division in their home,in addition to knowing that she's still married,to me that outweighs hopping in bed with her from time to time.



But to each their own.



Good luck with whatever you decide man.