Could really use your help!

[davham24]

Ok first off, this post is a result of Victory Unlimited's post of a few days ago requesting newbie's to talk. So here goes, I have been reading and reading allot on this site, I have six of David D's (Double your Dating) dvd programs, I have been getting his email bag and interview series for over a year. I have the Mystery Method dvd's, and Neil Strauss's book "The Game". So it's safe to say I have plenty of info to work with. I have poured over this so much it is extremely tough to continue watching, reading and listening to it all. This PUA stuff is ON MY MIND 24/7 no lie believe me but, I have a huge problem.

First a little info on me, I was married at 24, divorced Jan 06, and I am now 37. I am 6 ft 180 lbs and have been hitting the gym for the past two years, so it's safe to say I don't scare women away, I think. I can walk up to a woman (4, 5, or a 6), strike up a conversation, get a date and sleep with them about 65-70% of the time. However, they are not what I want. It has gotten to the point where I now always carry a zip-lock bag with a few "little blue pills" so I can perform my duties because I don't find them attractive.

Now, when it comes to a 8, 9, or a 10, my brain simply CANNOT FUNCTION! I find it difficult to even maintain eye contact, it seems I always look away first. The few rare times when I have been able to aproach one, my stomach starts to flip, my body temp hits 150f , I get lock jaw and my face turns as red as a craftsman toolbox. I get the "are you OK" look much much more then any smiles. I know the problem is all in my head but I just can't figure out how to stop it. I also know I put too much pressure on myself and the situation when the woman gets better looking. But again I don't know what to do, I have no one to hang with and all my friends are marrried which is another problem in itself.

Surely I'm not the only guy to go through this crap and it is driving me nuts. It seems my brain starts working only after the fact and then I go into the "should of, could of, would of" mode. So if anyone here has gone through this PLEASE start typing before beautiful women become untouchable in my mind!

David

 

[Last Man Standing]

Now, when it comes to a 8, 9, or a 10, my brain simply CANNOT FUNCTION! I find it difficult to even maintain eye contact, it seems I always look away first. The few rare times when I have been able to aproach one, my stomach starts to flip, my body temp hits 150f , I get lock jaw and my face turns as red as a craftsman toolbox. I get the "are you OK" look much much more then any smiles. I know the problem is all in my head but I just can't figure out how to stop it. I also know I put too much pressure on myself and the situation when the woman gets better looking.

Ok - you probably read material on never to put
women on a pedestal - but then we put the ones that we are most attracted to in that top spot on the pedestal and thus become mush when it's time to approach her! She is too high and mighty for me - our mind thinks!!

The solution is NOT to put them at such a level whereby we are not allowed or too scared to approach! This has to do with your inner confidence and what you feel are your limits to the scale of women you can get.

Don't look at what she has to offer you (looks) rather look at the qualities that you possess that she would desire - a term used here is that you are "the prize" and not her!! This has to be and should be every man's thinking!! Don't stress so much on how she is going to evaluate you -- you are approaching her to evaluate her to determine if she is worthy of your company!!

You need more confidence!

Rejections are normal -- I don't like every woman and so I expect not every woman likes me!!!

Don't fear rejection!!! This is a big obstacle for men!!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Above everything props to you for seeking help with the issue. Let me fill you in brother, you're not the only one to suffer with this particular problem. We ALL have at one point or another.

I wholeheartedly believe your problem, not your symptom, is that you don't have any self assurance in yourself as a man. You believe, as I did, that being married and divorced you failed in some way keeping the relationship intact no matter how rocky it was. The only thing you can control is how you act and react to your situations in this world. We, as men, cannot afford the luxury of controlling someone else's decision making. Thus the problem inherently lies with us.

You freak out when you get in the company of 7's and higher? But what you fail to realize is that your 7 - 10 may be someone else's 4 or less. It's subjective brother. Frame each woman as she is; just another woman. She sh!ts, she farts, she burps, she bleeds every 28 days like every other one. She just looks better doing it.

You hit the gym regularly for what reason? To look better for women or to prolong your life and have a healthier existence? It's all priority my man.

 

[Aaron B]

you believe they are of greater value than you.

do whatever you need to do to believe you are of greater value than them

david d preaches about internal beliefs as you know. This problem is a direct result of your internal beliefs.

Call me conceited but I am almost to the point where I consider myself of greater value than any woman simply because I am a man. Looks just don't impress me anymore. I'm almost prejudiced against really attractive women.