Costantly shut out during appraoches

[Das]

I need help, and I don't even really know where I'm screwing up at. I just can't seem to get any woman interested. I smile, I make eye contact just like the Bible says I say Hi, and then I'm just ignored or I get one word answers. They just don't let me get anywhere with them.

I just don't get it. I've never been able to get girls to talk to me. I asked about this on other forums and the answer was "be more attractive" So I joined a gym and put one some bulk. I went and dressed better. Still got the same response when I go to talk to them.

So I asked on the other forum and they said to "try and convey personality." Thats hard to do when I keep getting an instant disconnect with women.

What am I missing? Does anyone have an idea of what I should work on?

 

[Dmr9]

My guess is it's probably because they're not physically attracted, hence why they react coldy. The advice you said you had is good, why ask again? What do you want to hear?

Also, try to be realistic in your approach, if you're a 5 then of course 8s and 9s will react coldly to your approach regardless of your game. Try more like 5 or 6s and you'll have more warm reactions (provided you have a good game of course)

 

[Thomas94305]

I could go into a lot of yadda yadda stuff. Best to just mention a couple of things:
1) Don't quit. The smart ones here go through this period of "nothing works". The others often quit. What's probably happened is that before you just took life as it comes, not paying attention to how things are with gals..so if it didn't go well, you were probably oblivious. But now you are taking inventory, noticing if there's attraction or not. Being observant just makes you notice the problem, it's a good thing, stick with it.
2) Do the DJ bootcamp.
3) Practice with EVERYONE. Have friendly, fun, playful, connecting conversations with your aunts and uncles, people at the nursing home, coffee shop people, connect better with male friends.. on and on and on.. lots of chances to practice. You can start easy, just say one or two things to someone familiar or otherwise, and have that go OK.. and build from there. This massive amount of conversing will do lots for your game all by itself. Once you get good at carrying regular conversations, then you can add the C&F stuff, the flirtations, the other attraction elements discussed here. But these attraction elements apart from having comfortable relaxed conversations very quickly fall flat.

 

[faisal]

You are probably ugly. That's the same problem I have. Sorry bud, god has failed us again.

 

[NFC]

One word answers are common on cold approaches.. I mean cold approaches are usually akward.. and if you don't really have anything meaningful to say.. then girls are going to shut you out. You need to just relax, and try not to act like a robot.. forget what the bible says for a moment.. just take your balls and your confidence. Next time you see a girl approach her, but have something to say.. other than "Hi" something interesting to say that will lighten the mood and remove her defense shield. Break the ice with something pertaining to the situation, try and make it funny. Just stay confident and don't give up.

 

[faisal]

One word answers are common on cold approaches.. I mean cold approaches are usually akward.. and if you don't really have anything meaningful to say.. then girls are going to shut you out. You need to just relax, and try not to act like a robot.. forget what the bible says for a moment.. just take your balls and your confidence. Next time you see a girl approach her, but have something to say.. other than "Hi" something interesting to say that will lighten the mood and remove her defense shield. Break the ice with something pertaining to the situation, try and make it funny. Just stay confident and don't give up.

I did that exact thing today in class, and I was basically shut down. Good thing for me, i'm not attracted to her at all. She probably thinks I am though, but since i'm not, it makes the situation ok by me.

 

[NFC]

Well, occasionally.. we all get those b!tches that no matter how much game you have will just simply reject you. Don't sweat girls like that. If you keep getting rejected and you think you're doing something wrong, then switch it up a bit.. find out what works for you.

 

[faisal]

Well, occasionally.. we all get those b!tches that no matter how much game you have will just simply reject you. Don't sweat girls like that. If you keep getting rejected and you think you're doing something wrong, then switch it up a bit.. find out what works for you.

Actually today I was testing out a theory that if I didn't think a girl was attractive, that it will be communicated to her naturally. Results were disappointing. Either that or she was offended that I found her unattractive. However something tells me she thought I was just trying to talk to her because I thought I could get some ass. Fact is, I don't want that ugly ass.

 

[NFC]

I have that problem. I find myself talking to UGs sometimes, mainly because I feel sorry for them, and because I feel like an ******* if I don't reply to whatever they say. I was being nice today, talking to a few chicks.. but like, after a bit I kept trying to get away but they wouldn't get the hint.. it had the reverse effect.. of course. But if I were to ignore them completely then I would be labeled a shallow ******* or something. I try to stay cool with everybody.. because I like the fact of having many friends with many different kinds of people... but sometimes UGs just never get the hint.

 

[faisal]

Well I'm saying my results were that she didn't show any interest in talking to me. It's ok though, I was playing some pretty good songs in my head and didn't feel like being bothered.

 

[greenlake]

hey das, i got a question. what do u say after hi?? it's prob not ur look man. so don't worry. and if u're not sure. u can post ur pics on here. i'm sure of the guy here is gay enough to rate u. hahah.

 

[NFC]

Oh, I see. Like pretending a HB10 is like a 2.5 or something?

Lol.

I guess it would work in theory.. but then again, she has a ton of AFCs already communicating this body language of interest.. which is enough to keep her at a *****y/****y attitude.

 

[faisal]

hey das, i got a question. what do u say after hi?? it's prob not ur look man. so don't worry. and if u're not sure. u can post ur pics on here. i'm sure of the guy here is gay enough to rate u. hahah.

Pictures do a horrible job of conveying how someone looks. Haven't you seen someone on a photo and have them look completely different in person?

 

[JPFromTally]

Have you ever walked down the street and had a homeless guy approach you? He usually said, "Excuse me..." and immediately you went into defensive mode. It's the same thing when you do it - the girl goes into defensive mode. Try just a casual conversation starter relavent to the situation. If you're standing in line for coffee ask, "Is the coffee here any good?" Etc, etc...

 

[Pappadapolis]

Her initial physical attraction has a lot to do with it. Like DMR9 said, if you're a 5 (in her eyes) and she's an 8 - 10, then you'll have a tougher time. I'm not saying it's impossible, but in a situation like that it'd be better if you two had to spend a lot of time together. If she were your lab partner, shared a cubicle, or had common friends it'd be much easier. Cold approaches are harder if you aren't an 8-10 or have the body of a god.

 

[greenlake]

faisal geeehzz....u don't need to be right all t he time. j/k *whisper* i'm just testing to see if this guy is a troll or not*

btw, isn't cold approaches are approaches without e/c or any hint of interest from the opposite sex?? shhhhh.....i do that all the time. mainly because i rarely get any hint. if i do, i'll prob be 80 by then.

 

[Pappadapolis]

Make eye contact. Smile. Wave. If she smiles and waves back, then approach.

--Jake Steed from the DJ Bible "How to cut down on your rejection rate by 99%"

http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001056.html

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Here is a rebuttal for that typal shut-out "are you always this rude or are you just having a bad day?" It's one I invented right now. If someone's being cold, interpret it as them being rude, and call them up on it. You are actually conveying personality by doing so IMHO.

It's healthy to talk to everyone at first that you feel comfortable approaching and talking to, then afterwards advance to more ego-riskier target approaches, so you feel that you are approaching another person, rather than a goddess or something.

 

[gherald]

My guess is it's probably because they're not physically attracted, hence why they react coldy. The advice you said you had is good, why ask again? What do you want to hear?

Also, try to be realistic in your approach, if you're a 5 then of course 8s and 9s will react coldly to your approach regardless of your game. Try more like 5 or 6s and you'll have more warm reactions (provided you have a good game of course)

this is prbably the answer...

 

[rrrrr]

where are you doing these cold approaches at?