Correcting behavior....without showing weakness

[Pakwah]

How can I go abouts correcting an interests behavior without looking weak?
I have just started talking to this girl.
I want to appear like I do not care, and that these things do not bother me, so as to not appear controlled and still my own person, yet still come across as caring?

I don't want to look invested, but still concerned.

I dont want a convo like this =

Me - please stop doing (blank)
her - why does it bother you?
Me - Well it does and it doesn't.
her - well that makes no sense
Me - Well its something that ive been thinking about
her - so if you think about it then it must bug you
Me - Well no cuz i was going to talk to you about it, it wont bug me cuz im telling you and getting it off my mind.
her - So if it doesnt bug you...why do you care on resolving it? Or even bring it up?

I am busy enough I don't need crap from no one, it's something ive been reading into in regards to her behavior and perhaps i am wrong, hence i don't want to look like its bothering me if I've simply blown it up. Yet I can't overlook it. I see what looks to be a pattern and i want to bring it up without rocking the boat to much. But i will if i have to, and if i am right, then shes out the boat. The 'bad boy' would say fvck it and move on, myself, I want her to explain it. Cuz its effecting my 'emotional' output to her and setting up alot of distance.

I woud like to move closer, but i have no problems backing away if necessary.
Its late so my explaination may seem vague, I hope someone out there understands what I mean.
I guess by me looking concerned shows that i am slightly emotionally attached, and I do not want that to come across at all, i dont want to look like i 'care' yet. I want her to still think she could still lose me at the drop of a hat, she is working for me, not the other way around. But if I look concerned about something that gives her power - power I dont want to be giving out just yet.

 

[WaterTiger]

Sometimes you just have to make a stand.

You: "Hey I really don't like it when you do (blank). I'd appreciate it if you would quit doing it.
Be cool, clam and blunt. Trying to candy-coat your request is weak. TELL her what you want, don't ask or bargin for her complyance.

Her: Ooo! Does it bother you?
She may try to bait you into an emotional respsonse, tick you off so she can mislead your request. DO NOT let her manipulate you. Stay cool and focused.

You: Yes, I think it makes you look immature to other people. I don't want people laughing at you behind your back.
Play on her self esteem and fear of public humiliation.

Her: Well...it's a hard habit to break.
She'll give you a pitiful excuse, try to get you to overlook her bad behavior.

You: YOU aren't a hard habit to break.
Make sure she understands that you WILL walk away. If she tries to drag you into an argument. STAY CALM! Tell her if she just quits her bad behavioir, that every thing will be great again.

 

[frisco]

Should look like this

Make up a story that shows the piticular quality that you like, Make it about a friend, Sibling, any thing. then feed this to her several times through diffrent storys that demenstrate people Saying or Doing the quality you desire. Act happy about it or say you know what made laugh the other day, Made me happy.

My lil sisters so cute, every day when i come home and she hasnt seen me in a while, she loves to ask me question after question, she so intrested in my day to day life shes addorable.

Instead of fucusing on the bad Focus on what you want and tell her in a Story that seems real

 

[kingman]

You: why are you doing that, it is so meaningless/ stupid ? ( remember to be smiling afterwards )

 

[Hughman]

Of course this is situational, but use female vocabulary back on them to describe their habit. 'Weird' and 'creepy' come to mind.