Coping w/ past beta behaviors

[f(x)]

Recently I've started reflecting on some mistakes I've made with women over the past few years, especially with my oneitis. I'm reminded of all the unnecessary 5hit (emotional/financial/time investments, etc.) I did hoping to get her back and I'm constantly asking myself, "how could I have been so stupid?" I guess the lesson learned is that once her interest is gone it's time to gtfo. Knowing that it will never happen again, how else have some of you come to terms with past beta-orbiter positions or behaviors that you more or less put yourself in once things went sour?

 

[f(x)]

I agree with you 100% and I've been more or less on that path. It's just when looking back, I can't believe I didn't walk away sooner. In a lot of respects I feel like a different person now, and I accept my past actions as ignorance/inexperience on my part. Every once in a while I'll remember a favor I did or bull5hit that I put up with and wonder where the hell was my self respect during that time. Idk. Guess I got lost in the pu55y vortex. Not dwelling on it or bitter, just sayin'. Anyhow, now with more experience and knowledge under my belt, it's amazing how red flags and **** tests I encounter are almost word for word what is posted on a lot of topics included in this and similar websites.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't worry about your past, because if it were not for your past you would not be where you are. Never assume that things would be better if history were different. It is equally likely that if you had done things different you would worst off or even dead. Think of it this way... your past 'beta' behavior may have saved you from horrendous relationships.

 

[logicallefty]

Good thread. The Only positive with keeping any bad past experiences in mind is sharing them here and with other men elsewhere so the less experienced guys can learn and hopefully not get in the same pickle themselves.

 

[Trump]

I guess the lesson learned is that once her interest is gone it's time to gtfo. Knowing that it will never happen again, how else have some of you come to terms with past beta-orbiter positions or behaviors that you more or less put yourself in once things went sour?

Bro your thinking is weak by even ASKING this question. Come to terms with past behaviour regarding a GIRL? Screw that. Unless you insult her or hit her or something you think about it for 18 seconds and then move on. Girls are there for ENJOYMENT, SEX, and BABIES. You put any more value into them, they will feel it and CRUSH you.

Why are you even thinking about her interest level? It should be your interest level in her. She should be begging you to have sex with her, not you thinking 'oh her interest is gone I can't get it back.' That type of thinking is weak and shows you don't know how to sell yourself.

 

[dustmuffin]

Here is a good one from my marriage. My exwife asked me to talk like a woman would to her. Being the good little beta I tried. It didn't work. Finally I told her that I was a man and would speak to her in that manner. Never again.....

 

[Glumix]

Knowing that it will never happen again, how else have some of you come to terms with past beta-orbiter positions or behaviors that you more or less put yourself in once things went sour?

I struggle with the same currently.
I think time is the best answer. And during that time, improve yourself, be independent and pro-active.

Take your part of responsibility for what happened.
Remember your self-worth.
Walk in a courageous and dignified way.

 

[Alvafe]

mostly I just say to myself, live and learn, I did wrong things and when I remember that I says, well least now I know better and never will do it again.

you did it,you learn from it, if bad I hope you don't do it again , think it like a nice experiment of some sort. now you apply the results.

it also helped me I decide to do something else and make a new group of friends, when one group is too busy or not in the mood to do something you have another group.