Cool women?

[DoItAgain]

You hear all this talk about quality women. I'll reduce it even simpler...how hard is to find a cool woman? One that is reasonably attractive (6 or higher on the 10 scale) is fun to be around, it feels like being with one of your guy friends, only better?

I have a big crush on Roz from Frasier. On top of having the look I like, she seems to "get it." She's sassy and is one of the guys while still being feminine. (Yes I know she's just a TV character, I'm aware.) But I want to know if women like this exist?

The reason, I realized, I've become so "I just want sex" lately is because most women I meet, other than their looks, they just aren't that interesting. The same way women complain about men not bringing anything to the table...it's almost like young women think "I'm a female, it's not my job to be entertaining."

I want to know from the more experienced daters on here if these type of cool women exist? I don't care if she's a 10...I'd rather have the 7 that's fun as hell than a boring/snobby 10.

 

[Colossus]

It's not that hard. Problem is they tend to be in looooong term relationships.

 

[Jitterbug]

Not too hard to find them, but what Colossus said is right.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Concur both posts above. Supply and demand, and all that.

Only thing you can do is make yourself higher quality, and improve your skills, and increase your incidents of interaction with potential candidates.

Best way to do that is go where they hang out, and create opportunities to talk to them on a regular basis. Waitresses, librarians, coffee shop baristas, book shop clerks, etc. Just keep a (seemingly random) routine where these types of girls see you couple times a week, and get a chance to talk more than "customer/salesperson" conversations.

It helps to keep an excel spread sheet of your interactions, and things you remember about the conversation. It can get pretty confusing when your juggling several candidates at once.

I met a two year, pretty cool girlfriend that way by frequenting a Japanese restaurant in my neighborhood.

There out there, just screen for basic physical requirements (as you said, sevens) and go from there.

 

[DoItAgain]

It seems I'm looking for an innocent woman. By innocent, I don't mean a virgin, or goes to church, never swears, etc., I mean a woman that doesn't go to bars or clubs whatsoever. If she drinks, it's not a social thing for her...she's just drinking because she genuinely enjoys the taste, not to fit in or get drunk...she'd be either in or doing something with her family or bowling or something on a friday or saturday night.

I like the starbucks/bookstore idea. It seems what I'm looking for is a girl whose bookish and intellectual without being one of those emo or gamer or outcast girls.

I'm at a point, after dating a few attractive women, where the novelty of dating an attractive woman (with nothing else to offer) has worn off. As much as I want sex, it isn't a motivator for a relationship. If I want sex, I treat the girl like a sexual conquest.

But let's be honest, even us weathered, prudent men want something more than hook-ups. I just can't help it...once I know that the woman is basically mainstream, I lose all interest. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I'm just looking for someone similar.

 

[Jitterbug]

That type of women mostly never ventures out of her tight social circle. Likely she's already in a relationship with one from her circle. If you want to date one of those, you have to play social circle game. You can't go to random bookshops or coffee shops and expect to pick one up. They may be there, but they are not open to being approached or picked up. Which is why they're "innocent" in the first place.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You can't go to random bookshops or coffee shops and expect to pick one up. They may be there, but they are not open to being approached or picked up. Which is why they're "innocent" in the first place.

If you go frequently enough, and talk to the girls working there, not "picking up" girls shopping there, it's definitely possible. It just takes some time. Just slowly get to know them like you would any other gal.

Another great place for slow "get to know you" game is community college classes in some subject that

1) you are interested in

and

2) has some element of class interaction/groups or even group projects so you can really get to know your classmates.

I've dated girls I slowly got to know at restaurants, and in college classes.

It's slower than "pick up" but if you want an "innocent" girl, you've got to put in the time. Not that the social circle method isn't better, but if you don't want to work the social circle angle, the slow "get to you know you" method does have it's advantages.

 

[DoItAgain]

Yeah, I'm not looking for quick results. I'm just wondering how to start the RIGHT social circle in the first place. I'm the kind of guy that has a few close friends that don't necessarily know each other and aren't the type that would know attractive women in general. I'm wondering how/where to meet new friends (male and female) that might have similar interests/values, that way even if I'm not meeting Mrs. Innocent, I'm still having fun with friends anyway.

 

[Colossus]

That type of women mostly never ventures out of her tight social circle. Likely she's already in a relationship with one from her circle. If you want to date one of those, you have to play social circle game. You can't go to random bookshops or coffee shops and expect to pick one up. They may be there, but they are not open to being approached or picked up. Which is why they're "innocent" in the first place.

It's true.

I like "different" girls as well. As in non-mainstream values, personality, interests, etc. But these are hard to find. I dont think there is really a formula to finding them either. If you just want to get laid, you can formulate game and make it a system. But once you reach the point where you're over it and you want something meaningful you cant 'systemize' it anymore. A lot of comes down to right place, right time.

That said, the best place to start is always meeting people with like interests. Maybe a CC class like T.O. said, a hiking club, a sailing club, whatever you can find. That way at least you are putting yourself out there, and having some fun to boot. Worst case scenario you make a new friend. It's the best you can do without overly striving for it.

 

[SexyMofo]

The cool women tend to be 6 and 7s. They are "cool" because they have to compete with hotter women, not because of some innate coolness.

Sure, she'll watch boxing and ufc with you. And if you're stupid enough to marry her and have kids, watch her do a 360 once she lands you.

 

[DJDanny]

The cool women tend to be 6 and 7s. They are "cool" because they have to compete with hotter women, not because of some innate coolness.

Sure, she'll watch boxing and ufc with you. And if you're stupid enough to marry her and have kids, watch her do a 360 once she lands you.

Amen brother, you just described my ex-wife in a nutshell. Get married and boom, "Well I don't really like that" or "I used to like that"

 

[Jitterbug]

It's slower than "pick up" but if you want an "innocent" girl, you've got to put in the time. Not that the social circle method isn't better, but if you don't want to work the social circle angle, the slow "get to you know you" method does have it's advantages.

Well, what you said is what I'd call social circle game. You find the environment that has the kind of girls you're interested in, you develop a personal interest in that scene and get to know people in it. Slowly, you build a social circle and then proceed to reap the rewards.

SexyMofo, true, but it's 180 degree, not 360. 360 is a full circle. :crackup:

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Well, what you said is what I'd call social circle game. You find the environment that has the kind of girls you're interested in, you develop a personal interest in that scene and get to know people in it. Slowly, you build a social circle and then proceed to reap the rewards.

Actually it's not. What I'm describing is repeatedly visiting a business over a period of time, with the sole purpose of chatting up only one specific person, until she is comfortable enough with you to go out with you someplace other than the business. You may talk to other workers there, but she's the main target. It may appear to her that you are just a casual customer that comes in at odd times, but you are really working a long "pick up".


A social circle angle is meeting friends, and friends of friends, hanging out in groups, etc. Like you described. Hanging in a particular scene without a particular target in mind, and letting things unfold naturally. That also is a great way to meet girls/friends/friends to introduce you to girls/etc, but it is a little different.

The method I described above is nothing more than an extended, several week, "pickup." it's just that you aren't "closing" per se, you are giving her time to get used to you and comfortable with you so when you finally do ask her out, it's much easier to say "yes" to than if you had number closed her the same day you met her.

If you visit several different venues a week, and are slowly becoming "friends" with a few different girls at the same time, you opportunities begin to really open up.

It may take a while to get the ball rolling, but if you keep adding new spots with new girls that you are using the "long pickup" on, after a few weeks you'll be doing pretty good. You'll never be bothered to visit the club again.

Both times this has netted me girlfriends, I never visited the shop again after we started dating. One girl asked me why I stopped coming to her restaurant once, (after we'd been intimately dating for a few months) and I just made up some fluff answer, like I felt uncomfortable, as her boyfriend, visiting her in her shop, or something, and she accepted it.

Once I met this smoking hot girl who had an absolute dork for a boyfriend. I asked her how they met, and she said he just kept coming into the ice cream shop where she worked, and finally asked her out, and that was that.

For all you covert operative player types, you can think of this as a "long con" type of game.

Get in front of her several times, get to know a few of her interests, share a few of yours, and eventually going out with you will be a no-brainer.