skip2mylou781 said:
give me feedback
that part about her saying "guys need to impress", that made me SICK
And now to commence what you are obviously going to call flaming just because it doesn't jive with your limited world view that you are somehow entitled to things you don't want to work for. Let's begin....
First off, you're a hypocrite for thinking that you shouldn't have to impress her because she should have to impress you. If you think she should have to impress you with you not having to work for it, what on earth makes you think that she should be required to put any more effort into it than you do? Why should she have to do something that you feel you shouldn't? She might be an idiot for thinking that it's solely the guys job to impress, but you're equally idiotic for thinking that you shouldn't have to impress her at all and it should all be her responsibility. You're going from one extreme to the other without seeing the middle ground that is in actuality the truth. The simple fact is that you both have to impress the other in certain ways for anything to happen. Just the act of approaching her is evidence that she has already impressed you in one way or another, or else you wouldn't be talking to her, you'd be talking to someone else.
Truth; when someone has shown a high level of interest in you, you automatically feel less pressure to demonstrate a value worthy of high interest. Any guy who's been approached by hot women can attest to this. It has happened to many guys. When I was racing professionally, years ago, I got laid all the time. and, I put very little effort into it. I didn't
have to put much effort into it. I had minor celebrity in my group, and I stood out as being among the best in that group. Now, many many girls are turned on by guys who do things that are percieved as dangerous, moreso by those guys who are good at that thing. So at race after-parties or whatever, I was constantly getting approached by all sorts of women. Them approaching me meant that I didn't have to work right then to get their attention, I already had it. So I didn't do anything at all. I sat there and gave st!t answers to sh!t questions, I let the girl do all of the work, because I knew I already had her. Does that mean I didn't ever have to work for their attention? No, I had to work for it on the track. My success is what got their attention, and it took a lot of work to get that success. The fact that I wasn't putting effort directly into them at that moment didn't mean that their interest in me was free, I just earned it at a different time. So even though I did nothing to or for that girl specifically, I still had to work to impress. I made myself desireable. More on that later.
So, interest is not free. You can easily equate that to a girl getting ready to go out putting on all her makeup and her push up bra, and spending gods know how much on clothes and shoes and accessories, or that girl working out 10 hours a week to have the body that guys will notice, or whatever really. It's shallow, sure, but to some extent, she's already worked to impress and gain your attention before she even left the house. Just because she's not doing it right in front of you doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Moving on, if you want to be able to do nothing and still get girls interested, you're in for a sad, 2% type life, man. You need to work for it. Nothing is free. Equivalent exchange and all. If you want to drive fast, you burn more gas. The more you put into something, the more you get out. Is it hard for you to try to earn a girl's interest? Is it so degrading that you just can't bring yourself to do it? What's the harm in putting in a little effort to impress her? That is what you really need to think about, not worry about a girl wanting to be impressed. If you took the time to improve yourself (as I have said in countless posts to you before), you wouldn't have to work so hard to get what you want. Nothing is free, but a good investment will gain you more than a bad one.
Let's look at it. You approach 50 girls and you take home 1 of them, then you whine about not wanting to have to impress them. You approaching the 50 shows that you obviously have been impressed by them, enough to approach anyway. The fact that only 1 goes home with you shows that you have
NOT IMPRESSED 49 of them. Does this really seem like the most efficient way to you? I mean, sure, you've taken home the 1, and approaching the rest didn't kill you so you can look at it as a good deal. But, imagine how many you could take home if you made yourself desirable, someone who doesn't have to work everytime to impress. Instead of spending so much time doing things that a serious minority of girls are impressed by, spend that time
learning what impresses the majority of girls. Your success rate will go up and your effort expenditure per girl will go down. It just makes the most sense.
You've overcompensated by thinking it's all a numbers game. For most of us, it's not. Here's the thing, you are just obviously not a very impressive person. If you were, you wouldn't have to whine about a girl wanting you to impress her because you would just do it naturally. You're concerned about this girl wanting to be impressed because it's something you have to knowingly try to do. I don't care if a girl thinks I should need to impress her, because I already am, I'm a naturally impressive person. I'm impressing her without even knowing I'm doing it. And that's why I don't care what she says she wants me to do, it's already going on. And I don't care what you think about the numbers game, if you are a naturally impressive person, you WILL get more girls genuinely attracted to you, and more girls with genuine attraction is good because....
You seem to artificially create a scarcity factor. You playing the numbers game may get you lots of chances, but at the end of the day, if only one girl goes home with you, then you didn't get the chance to pick the one you were most impressed by. You message 10 girls and hope that at least one replies. That's crap because now you've got one option, and if she doesn't impress you the way you would like her to, you can go home alone or you can lower your standards and play with the girl who doesn't want to take the time to impress you. I have made myself desirable, and because of that, I have a dozen women or more that I can call each weekend that I know will want to do something with me. I get to pick. I get to go through and think of which girl imresses me the most and I get to call her and know that she's ready and willing to do something with me. I don't pick the ones that aren't willing to impress me. I don't have to because I has all sorts of options. From everything you've described, you might have one or two available to choose from and if neither of those girls impress you, too bad, because that's what you've got available.
You've also increased your scarcity factor because you've limited yourself to girls who are considerably younger than you. What you might not realize is exactly why they are so much easier for you to game. Your age being greater than their's automatically makes up for some of that lost impressiveness that you don't feel like conveying, but then you're pissed when they don't have as much to offer you. Guess what? They're teenagers, on average they simply don't have as much to impress you with. If you want a girl who is more impressive to you, you should look into women closer to your age who have had more life experience, more character building trials, and more time to find their true identities, but to do that, you have to be willing to demonstrate a more impressive self to them to be able to keep them interested in you, and if you don't want to put any work into it, that will never happen.
So as many times as I've said it already (and as many times as you've gotten defensive and have not listened to a single word of what I've said), I'll say it again. Stop b!tching about girls and tricks and numbers. Improve yourself. Make yourself desirable. Make yourself someone that girls want to be around. You won't have to play the numbers game anymore, you won't have to resort to trickery.
Learn to fcuking type properly. It might not mean much to you, but if just shows some self respect that you take the time to present yourself impressively. Seriously, how much more time does it take you to type "you" instead of "u"? A tenth of a second? And how many times do you type "u" in a conversation with a girl, 50-100? Jesus, if ten seconds over the course of a whole conversation means that much to your day, you might want to loosen up your fcuking schedule.
And get off of MySpace, or at least use it sparingly. You simply can't be that impressive on MySpace, unless the one and only thing you have to offer the girl is a chest pic. Being naturally desirable is a whole personality, it's a way of talking and of walking and sitting, it's what you know and how well you can say it, it's your ideas and your opinions and your beliefs, it's everything, even the way you look at a girl makes a difference (albeit a small one) in the overall personality you convey to her, and that stuff does not translate well over a MySpace or AIM chat.
Stop calling girls "gorgeous" right out of the gate. If they are, they know it, and if you're talking to them, they know you probably like the way they look. Doing that first thing just makes them think that they've already got you in the bag, and because of that, they feel they don't need to try to impress you as much, just like when the girls would approach me after the races. As soon as they came up to me, I knew I didn't have to do much to get them in the sack, can you imagine how little effort I would have felt the need to put in if they were complimenting me incessantly also? None. Zero.
