Convinced That Being A Challenge Will Backfire

[violator]

After being dumped twice in the last month by HB's who've shown high IL, I am convinved that playing the challenge card, acting aloof, etc. and other tricks we are taught here can have adverse effects.

This is the pattern that has emerged:

HB #1: I meet the girl. She shows high interest and gives me her number. I call 3 days later to set up a date. Everything is cool. The first date seems to go well and I kiss close. I acted somewhat aloof, however not asking many questions and letting her do most of the talking and ending the date early. She hints that she wants to see me the next day, but I tell her that I had plans to go fishing with my brother. I wait and call 3-5 days after the date and the girl doesn't answer or return my calls. That was two weeks ago.

HB#2: Again, meet her at a club, shows high IL. I call 3 days later to set up date. Date goes really well. I Kiss close. Call 4 days later to set up second date. Second date goes really well, but still no fyck close as this girl seems like LTR material. She unexpectantly calls me the next day twice. I don't answer the phone because I am with another girl and I don't want to seem to be available. I call her twice the next day and leave a message. She doesn't return the calls which is strange because she is pretty good with this. I suspect that she is pissed because I didn't answer her calls the day she called. Well, I called again today with no luck. I suspect I got dumped.

I think the lesson here is that being a challenge as taught by Doc Love and others can backfire.

What do you guys think?

 

[Quick]

I think that it can backfire if used incorrectly. I've seen many people turn down good opportunities because they wanted to artificially be a challenge. If she's coming after you, it's fine to accept calls and dates. Just don't talk to her for hours on the phone or agree to be with her every day. If you're really busy, don't change all your plans. I wouldn't start drawing back until I've already established a strong connection first.

I think that you have no idea why exactly they aren't calling you back. You're just assuming that the reason was because you were being a challenge. You also don't know for sure what the interest level was or if and why it dropped.

I think that you should return calls on the same day.

I think that girls don't go from high IL to not wanting to ever speak to you again simply because you didn't call for a few days. If you were really interested in a girl, would you cut her off because she didn't call for 3 days?

 

[becker]

violator-

I see your perspective, and I agree with you that the whole being a challenge stuff can be taken too far. Regardless of the fact that women don't necessarily think like men, people are somewhat alike, regardless of their gender, when it comes to being annoyed.

I think that being too much of a challenge can be quite annoying to the other person after a while. In the beginning, it may be pretty interesting and may make you seem like more of a mystery, but in the end, doing it too much can just frustrate the other person.

There's a girl I know who seems to have all these games going full throttle. At first, I was very interested in her, not even because of the fact she was a challenge, but she took the challenge thing too far and it just starts getting annoying, and you start looking elsewhere.

For those in opposition to this, just put yourself in the shoes of the person being played and you'll probably see what I mean.

 

[Miles Davis]

I think the root here is to be UNPREDICTABLE. Challenge works in the initial stages of courting because the girl doesn't see it coming. She's expecting the extra attention, but isn't getting it, and this is what turns her on. It backfires when she's going to predict that you won't call, compliment, etc. So give a little when you sense that. You don't need to be a Challenge every waning second. For me, being a challenge includes not being a challenge sometimes, all relating back to unpredictability. Get my drift?

HB#1 Just seems like a flake out to me
HB#2 Could be bitter about you not answering her calls, but that just shows she's uptight if she writes you off like that

BTW, I don't like the way Doc Love calls his thing "The System." Structure has its time and place, but abiding by the strict rules he suggests takes the fun out of the chase. Once you know what you're doing, fvck the system, and run your own game.

 

[violator]

Update-

HB#2 just called. It seems that for some reason my first two calls never got through.

Just as I suspected, she said she was a little annoyed and jealous that I didn't respond to her calls. I guess that her IL is much higher than I thought for her to get annoyed like that.

But, I still think that one must be careful not to overdo it.

 

[thejuice]

You mentioned that you didnt ask many questions but you let her talk. IMO, talking is important...especially asking the right questions and following up on them because she finds them interesting.

Remember to talk about things that she likes so shell associate them with you. Im not saying to talk endlessly about her...no! Yes, its ok to talk about yourself but keep her talking most of the time.

Being a challenge is not about being quiet while she blabbers her mouth off. If anything, you can talk but not let her know whatll kill the excitement. ie mystery, etc. So keep things vague and dont show too much emotion when talking. Not to the extreme though. I mean that in that you dont let her know exacctly how you feel. You simply keep things general and vague so thatll itll seem aloof...not too distant