Conversational skills

[Snow Plowman]

Like I said I'd like to give back to the seduction community and basically pass on some knowledge on what I've read, learned, and experienced in the field. 90% of the people on this forum don't know how to have a emotionally charged conversation. Over and over I'm reading boring, and boring conversations. Then you have the ones that have boring conversation skills but pepper some C&F to make it not so boring. An then the rare few that actually know how too...

Now there are only two ways of talking
Deep rapport - Talking about one specific topic for one period of time
Wide rapport - Different conversational threads, and just speaking about anything and everything

Now ways that actually make a conversations boring which you should try and avoid. (You must always be trying to keep the conversation as emotional as possible and try not to make it that logical)

Asking too many questions - This is what many people do and this is the most boring. What fun is it when your aunt asks you question after question about common things.

Too serious - As a result you don't have fun and cause the conversation to be serious. Are you having fun when you're in a classroom with a strict teacher that is always serious.

Seeking a reaction - This is bad, if you ever see yourself trying to say a joke or doing something and then waiting to see her reaction, then stop it.

I can go on and on but that those are some of the most common problems. So now, how do we actually have a fun conversation?
- Being playful
- Not worrying about an outcome
- Having fun and being silly
- Misinterpreting her answers
- Joking around
- Telling her the wrong answer
- Keeping the conversation EMOTIONAL
- Being UNPREDICTABLE
- Not seeking for an reaction

Now one thing a lot of people don't know about is they think they need to transition. In order to keep it fun and unpredictable you just randomly do stuff. You could be talking about Godzilla and just randomly start talking about the wood on you're house floor.

Best stuff to read about for a good free flowing conversation is Juggler method, The-approach vibing post. But now you'll most likely need the pepper that actually spikes Buying temperature and actually gains attraction.

These techniques include but not limited too: (Note: you don't need a ROUTINE to do these techniques you can come up with them be yourself so longs you know the concept of the technique)
- C&F
- Stories (Doesn't really need to be DHV stories so longs it's either funny or interesting you should be good)
- Push/Pull
- Impressions/songs/TV quotes
- mini Cold readings
- Role playing
- Games

There are many others but you get the idea. The thing about this is that you shouldn't be using all these techniques as a way to not have a real conversation. But every so often you can add the "pepper" in. It will keep it fun and playful. An also this can be totally random, there is no need to transition. If you couldn't transition randomly, then it would be a little more challenging trying to end up doing thumb war match.

A good example of a conversation that is fun and gains attraction would be...
*Guy talks to girl*
Guy:...what do you major in?
Girl: blahblah
Guy: wow, thats cool, you know what you're going to be my new gf...for the next 5 minutes. (Basic push/pull and could easily turn it into a bf/gf role play)
-Role about being bf a gf-
-Start going into a story about how you cheat on her for her sister-
Guy: Hey do you have Professor A class?
Girl: blahblah
Guy: Yes!! I found me my new study partner, now here are the rules...you do all the work...you have to bring me cookies...we only study once a month...OMG this is going to be so awesome...actually nope, I might ask you to get me water and you'll probably give me alcohol and get me drunk.
Girl: blahblahblah
Girl: Why are you wearing that shirt? (possible sh!t test)
Guy: What area do you live in...let me guess Area ABC?
Girl: no blah blah
Guy: It's ok...you're secret is safe with me we all know you ABC girl's are surely the fiesty type
Guy: Here give me you're hand *Some kino stuff*...a girl from ABC did that to me once, ever since that I've been showing everyone.
Girl: That's pretty cool
Guy: Yea, ABC girl's are the coolest girl's in the world!
Girl: no DEF girl's are the coolest
Guy: It's ok I'l bring you with me and take you around that area, sure you how to really party. But on one condition...you must protect me from the girl's who try to grab my body...

Notice how it's not boring and while having some regular conversation you're still randomly doing things and keeping it fun at all times. Now imagine if you didn't do that, how the conversation would be.

*Guy talks to girl*
Guy: What do you major in?
Girl: blahblahblah
Guy: yea it's kind of cool...but that class is hard for me...did you get you're exam back
Girl: yea, blahblahblah
Guy: Do you happen to have Prof A class?
Girl: yea, blahblahblah
Guy: Yea his winter exam was hard, I might end up doing that study buddy stuff that way I can up my GPA.
Girl: blahblahblah
Guy: Are you from around here?
Girl: No I live in DEF area
Guy: My friend mike lives over their, how is it?
Girl: blahblahblah
Guy: Ever been too moon club around their?
Girl: yea me and my friend's go...
-GUY2 Enters-
*GUY2 opens girl*
GUY2: You know what I'm going to make you my gf...for the next five minutes.
Girl: hahaha blahblah
-GUY2 goes into a story how he cheated on her-
GUY2:...but I'm sorry, I'm tired of fighting with you for the past few years...and the makeup sex was wonderful... But now I'm steppig up...What's you're name again ex gf?
Girl: Girl
GUY2: ok...Girl...will you marry me
Girl: blahblah
GUY2: Lets get married today this guy *points to Guy* he can do the whole marriage process
GUY2: Where should we get married at, a deserted island, in a tree, on a roof, or in a tunnel?
GUY2: Ok off we go *arm in arm with Girl*...

As you can see the first guy is boring asking common, boring questions, and adding no fun to the conversation. Then guy2 comes in the picture and easily draws attention from guy due to him hold logical boring conversations with the girl. It's like a person coming up to you talking about doing something you really HATE and then someone entering talking about something you really like.

Note - This dialogue is all made up and just an example

Just always keep in mind whether you're conversations are logical or emotional. It should always be more emotional. It should be fun, and playful at all times. While it's good to learn how to have a nice flowing conversation it's just as important to learn how to get attraction going. Remember you can be as random as you want and always be as unpredictable as possible. If you follow these guidelines you won't have many boring conversations and it will always be fun. Misinterpretation and confusing a girl is the two easiest ways to play around with a woman in a conversation.

 

[PersonalJesus]

good post, knowing how to talk to girls is one of those basic skills you need.

Reps.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Very nice post Snow Plowman !!

 

[Charm]

Wow this post got all my juices flowing... then when you said it was all made up I... still had my juices flowing... great job!

 

[diizy]

I gotta say this is very well done, although im not to sure i agree with the examples. seems like a way to get consistently rejected in alot of cases (definitely not all cases though)

Lets summarize on your ways to have a fun conversation, Snow PLowman said (and i added to in brackets):

- Being playful (Certainly an excellent way to chat with girls and a great way to get their intrest)
- Not worrying about an outcome (I'm not sure i agree with this one, but following this rule, very good things can happen. But sometimes without an outcome you do not know where to start, so this really depends on how you are thinking)
- Having fun and being silly (same as playful, great way to grab intrest)
- Misinterpreting her answers (to an extent for sure, if she asks something seirous i would personally answer seriously.)
- Joking around (same as playful & fun)
- Telling her the wrong answer (once again, if she wants a real answer, give it to her. Though some cases this can be an excellent way to really keep her intrest)
- Keeping the conversation EMOTIONAL (yes if the correct emotion is conveyed, otherwise it can lead to unwanted results, eg. dont EVER try for pity.)
- Being UNPREDICTABLE (this can certainly work, as with a movie, if its unpreedictable, well then it just keeps your attention that much more)
- Not seeking for an reaction (i dont really agree as if you are using emotion, then what are you seeking? emotion creates reaction for the most part, i feel that statement is almost contradictory)
Remember, there is a time and place for everything, play your cards right and don't go overboard.

Otherwise, this is an awsome read and an excellent thread, i suggest almost everyone take these suggestions to heart and you will succeed. Remember its easiest to start a conversation on an event/topic which has just come up. (eg. they are reading a book you are intrested in, you ask them for their opinon on something, you both see an uncommon event take place)

 

[Snow Plowman]

I'll try to better explain some parts...

- Not worrying about an outcome (I'm not sure i agree with this one, but following this rule, very good things can happen. But sometimes without an outcome you do not know where to start, so this really depends on how you are thinking)

This is a mindset from RSD, basically it isn't good to focus on the "Too much" on the outcome, why becasue its "sex" that you want. If you're focusing on it, instead of focusing on the process your going to end up sub communicating that you want it too much and end up becoming reactive.

The things I usually focus on to make this whole thing easier for me is just Frames, Vibing, and Kinoing. The best rule to keep it simple is too "Always move it forward". This is so I don't get too caught up in what I am doing and what I should be doing.

- Misinterpreting her answers (to an extent for sure, if she asks something seirous i would personally answer seriously.)
- Telling her the wrong answer (once again, if she wants a real answer, give it to her. Though some cases this can be an excellent way to really keep her intrest)

100% agree, its all about calibration. If you push it too far it can end up not being playful and actually getting her mad.

- Being UNPREDICTABLE (this can certainly work, as with a movie, if its unpreedictable, well then it just keeps your attention that much more)

This is what sets a guy who fuvks girls and a guy who doesn't. A guy who is predictable end up boring quick. It's like eating tuna fish with bread all you're life. Every day you wake up you know tuna fish is what you're going to be eating.

- Not seeking for an reaction (i dont really agree as if you are using emotion, then what are you seeking? emotion creates reaction for the most part, i feel that statement is almost contradictory)
Remember, there is a time and place for everything, play your cards right and don't go overboard.

Another RSD belief that helpped me a lot. I know what you're trying to say because I was thinking same thing until I was actually noticing it. When I mean not seeking for it, you're not really expecting her to give a response you're just saying it. (It was hard first time I tried)

If you look at some guys who use canned material, they say something and depending on the girl's reaction that will determine whether the guys state goes up or down. So he is constantly doing all these stuff to "button push" in other words get that reaction. It's like saying a long story and then saying "the end" and waiting to see how they react. Instead, don't really look for it and don't even be surprised because you are doing all this for your own amusement. She will end up getting sucked in and actually giving the reaction that you would want her to give if you were to seek for her reaction.

(Kind of hard to explain but try it and you'll get what I'm saying) Another example is like saying a story and then saying "riiiggghttt????" and now your setting there waiting for their reaction.

Hope that helpped

 

[Master Bates]

Conversation is one of my weak points. I can hold a decent conversation if I know what I'm talking about, but I'm really absolutely piss-poor at being spontaneous during conversation, which makes it really hard to be "playful" for long and do stuff like the "gf/bf roleplaying" example. I'm just terrible at coming up with stuff on the fly; my brain freezes. I can't even do it very well over instant messaging. Now if I could flirt with women over email.....then I'd be tapping all sorts of ass.

 

[diizy]

I'll try to better explain some parts...

The things I usually focus on to make this whole thing easier for me is just Frames, Vibing, and Kinoing. The best rule to keep it simple is too "Always move it forward". This is so I don't get too caught up in what I am doing and what I should be doing.
(...)
This is what sets a guy who fuvks girls and a guy who doesn't. A guy who is predictable end up boring quick. It's like eating tuna fish with bread all you're life. Every day you wake up you know tuna fish is what you're going to be eating.

This is a very good analogy, and both of these paragraphs have similar points, each which are very important to getting the REAL action. I can already see how outcomes can change just by not stalling/holding up and definitely moving forward.

Another RSD belief that helpped me a lot. I know what you're trying to say because I was thinking same thing until I was actually noticing it. When I mean not seeking for it, you're not really expecting her to give a response you're just saying it. (It was hard first time I tried)

If you look at some guys who use canned material, they say something and depending on the girl's reaction that will determine whether the guys state goes up or down. So he is constantly doing all these stuff to "button push" in other words get that reaction. It's like saying a long story and then saying "the end" and waiting to see how they react. Instead, don't really look for it and don't even be surprised because you are doing all this for your own amusement. She will end up getting sucked in and actually giving the reaction that you would want her to give if you were to seek for her reaction.

From what i can understand here, is you mean, simply enter a conversation and basically just watching where it goes? If you mean that i'm quite sure I get what your saying, simply because, if i think of it this way, basically she would be leading the conversation and she would simply back out if this was not what they wanted? And that would mean less time wasted? Right?

Thanks for the help.