Conversation

[achtungiono]

Hey

You guys got any pointers or recommended books to read on the art of conversation?

I sometimes run out of things to say.

 

[IceCream]

Its literally impossible to run out of things to say.

 

[War Against Betaism]

It's not really about the amount of stuff you want to talk about, it's just about knowing how to conversate.

A tip I've read from this site a while ago worked for me quite a few times. If the girl is very sociable, get her into talking about something, like a summer vacation, experience, etc. Make sure the experience doesn't bring in a depressing or saddening mood. So she'll be talking, and she'll take pauses to see if you're really listening to her. If she doesn't speak for 3 seconds, comment on something about it, like if she's telling you a story about her camping trip and raccoons snuck in their tent and almost stole their food, be like "so raccoons almost stole your food?". It'll get her to talk more, and keep on listening until she takes her next pause. Some people will make the mistake of following up with their opinion, like they'll say "so raccoons almost stole your food? Funny situation there." From my experience, after following up with an opinion, the conversation didn't really flow as smoothly compared to when I didn't.

While I said earlier it's not really the content that matters in order to be a good conversation partner, it's still very important to know about public matters, news, gossip, etc. People just place too much importance on this when other categories of conversation are more vital, stockpiling on things to say. Read the news, listen to friends when gossip goes around. I remember hearing about a shockbreaking break up at school during class, and these girls I briefly knew brought it up and I was brought into the conversation because I was on familiar grounds with them. It's great for rapport building.

Now the most important aspect of a conversation isn't what comes out of your mouth, but how your words are presented. Some people talk way too fast to try and fit everything they wanted to say or talk about a girl in just one minute. One reason why people run out of things to say. Take your time, it's not like women have a standard of the amount of things you have to say to them in order to have a good conversation.

Also, keep good eye contact. Eye contact is VERY important; it conveys whether or not you're confident in yourself.

 

[Snow Plowman]

No book will ever teach you how to have conversations non-stop because your already capable of doing that. It's just your mind is being picky as to what to say because you "Don't want to say anything stupid".

The thing that I did was everytime I'd chat someone up I'd talk non-stop for 10-30 mins just so I can get in the habit of never running out of things to say, because literally there is never a time you should be running out of things to say.

Also make sure your speaking slowly and try to state whatever your trying to state in as short time as possible, you don't want to drag out some long sentence if you could've just stated it through a facial expression.

Not running out of things to say comes with experience but something that could always help is to practice doing improv by picking a random word seeing how long you can talk about it non-stop. Also when talking you can use the elements in a conversation to continue the conversation.

I personally don't think you should get too focused on that though because then your putting too much energy in the conversation when that isn't the most important thing. What's important is the frames, emotions, escalation, etc that is going on.