conversation -what questions more to ask

[napoleon]

I've seen this girl in the gym and I will approach next time I see her. I didn't approach till now because she's working out but in a girly way so she doesn't have a rest(only stretch). These are the questions that come to my mind and add more please:
Where do you live,what school do you go to ,name,about the school,what does she do in her spare time(to see if she has a BF) and number close eventually. Shes about a 7-8 on my scale but seems shy. I mean I want to make eyecontact and she always looks ahead,but was in a happy mood when i talked to her (a bug attacked me and I dodged so we laughed a little). Dont tell me to look at the bible or search becaeuse i have.

 

[skinnydart]

Come up to her when you (or she) is wrapping things up. Start off with a few of the questions you mentioned above (not all of them right off the bat), then follow up with. "So do you want to get some lunch (or a cup of coffee) with me?" "I'm heading to restraunt name, do you want to join me?"

 

[napoleon]

I was thinking more like before im leaving, a few questions and then say I got to go now but you could give me your number.

 

[napoleon]

Anybody?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I think you're taking the wrong approach, especially if you think she's shy. If you want to go out on a date with her (put the telephone number aside for now) you need to do a better job at gaining rapport with her. The whole 'where do you go to school' type thing is nice but it won't give you a strong rapport with her.

Start off with something you have in common. Hey, how about working out???!!! Consider tagging up with her and working out together, spotting one another, keeping pace or just chatting about your workout goals to pass the time. Do this during your workout to gain a prolonged rapport with her.

The only problem with this is if she's the type who has such tunnel vision while working out that you might as well be talking to a Stair Stepper. Usually these types have on headphones while working out.

If you are able to gain enough rapport/interest level (IL) then you should be in a place to actually ask her out (notice I didn't say telephone number). A woman with a high IL will agree to go out with you. A woman with either a high OR low interest level will give you a phone number (fake or real).

If she agrees, you can either choose to go out after your workout or postpone the date if the timing isn't right for either of you. If you go out after working out and you decide that you would want to see her again THEN get her digits to follow up.

If you continued to raise her IL during the date she will give it to you quicker than a heart beat. If the after workout date doesn't happen, she will probably give you her phone number if her initial IL was at least 51% and you were able to raise it during your workout.

It's as simple as that. The rest is up to you.

 

[squirrels]

Throwing question after question at a girl is NOT the way to generate rapport.

 

[chancer]

Nice Francisco d'Anconia

 

[napoleon]

But if I ask for the numbre it is clear I want to go out with her!

 

[jonny football hero]

Originally posted by napoleon
But if I ask for the numbre it is clear I want to go out with her!

Holy monkey feceas batman! She might know you like her? can't have that can we?

Here's a suggestion......don't talk to her, but jerk off over her at night.

Seriously though, so what if she knows you like her? as long as you not desperate about it, s'all good.

 

[napoleon]

Jonny you didn't understand me. The guys up said don't go for the number is she's shy go for the date and im saying if I ask for the number it figures I want to go out with her not workout, or read books.If I was a girl I would rather give my number than go out with someone. There aren't much rapport tips on sosuave.

 

[jonny football hero]

Aight. sorry man.

Rapport is generally easy. It's about sharing FEELINGS with a chick. They love feelings. Not questions, feelings.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by napoleon
But if I ask for the numbre it is clear I want to go out with her!

Asking for a number only clarifies that you may call her for something like a date. Why would it be so difficult to just ask her out if you wanted to go out with her?

What is it with guys wanting one thing but settling for something less?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by jonny football hero
Aight. sorry man.

Rapport is generally easy. It's about sharing FEELINGS with a chick. They love feelings. Not questions, feelings.

Jonny, for a teenager you seem to be right on track, I'm impressed.

Napoleon, if she is shy you need make sure she is comfortable with you. Avoiding direct contact with her won't do it. Gain that rapport.

Here's an example; I just had a second date with a shy woman I met on the Net. On the first date she gave me the song and dance about wanting to to find a "friend" first.

Making a long story short, we went out on a second date and ended up making out in the rain under a bridge. Oh yeah, she's a shy girl alright. Shy with guys that didn't take the type to build rapport with her.

Like Jonny said, women enjoy the roller-coaster rush that feelings give them. If you becomes the guy that can make her feel that rush you're in, it's a very powerful thing. But remember, "...with great power comes great responsibility..."

 

[napoleon]

Today in class I was talking to a girl I had a brief conversation with a few weeks ago and my friend told me so she could hear him (loud so she could hear me)- Ask her number (she seemed shy-I like shy girls) and she had gone from class in the next 20 sec and told me bye. She was cute but prolly wasn't intrested. What do you think(also I made her laugh although i wasn't talking to her)?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by napoleon
Today in class I was talking to a girl I had a brief conversation with a few weeks ago and my friend told me so she could hear him (loud so she could hear me)- Ask her number (she seemed shy-I like shy girls) and she had gone from class in the next 20 sec and told me bye. She was cute but prolly wasn't intrested. What do you think(also I made her laugh although i wasn't talking to her)?

So where was the rapport? What have you shown her other than fluff that would make her want to talk to you on the phone?

 

[napoleon]

Could I start a convo with a girl in the gym-Don't you take a rest?(smile).
I mean I watched her and she doesn't take a rest between sets.

 

[jonny football hero]

I dunno man. I don't like being disturbed at the gym, i go to work out rather than for a social event. That opener sounds a bit accusing though. Get on a machine next to her and.....

I tend to go with:

Me :Hi, i'm tom. Whats your name?
Her : Hi tom, i'm hot babe.
Me : Sorry, i don't mean to disturb you, i just really admire your determination. You havn't stopped yet.
Her : Oh well.....blah blah blah......

You seem to have trouble establishing rapport. So here is an example of a conversation (pretty lame, but i'm a bit busy at the moment)

Me : Whats the scariest thing you've ever done?
Her : blah blah, you?
Me : it's got to be the time i went bungee jumping. That was soo scary. I was waiting my turn in line, totally bricking it. Sweat dripping off me. Then when it was my turn, i stood up on the platform, and all the while they were putting the ropes on me, I had my eyes closed, just chanting "i can't do this". I opened my eyes, ready to tell them i wasn't going to do it, and i caught the view. It was beautiful. It's undescribable........*look like you're remembering it *Just at the same time i got that rush of adrenaline and all my hairs stood up and i just knew i had to do it. And.......i jumped.

You have to make the woman be as scared as you were. You have to make her have the adrenaline rush you had......

Hope i helped.

 

[napoleon]

Anybody else? Maybe Francisco d'Anconia?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by napoleon
Anybody else? Maybe Francisco d'Anconia?

Actually I like the intro that Jonny supplied, the one about her determination. I wouldn't go with the "what's the scariest thing you've ever done" question though, there isn't a good transition from the introduction. It's a good question, but one that is better during an actual date.

I'd go with something more on the lines of asking if she is training for a specific event, triathlons seem to be kinda big nowadays. But no matter what she answers, make sure that you focus your replies to what SHE says and not any predetermined route that you may have planned. Remember, the purpose of this conversation is to gain rapport. After you do that, you can go after specific objectives during subsequent meetings.

 

[jonny football hero]

I wouldn't go with the "what's the scariest thing you've ever done" question though, there isn't a good transition from the introduction

Granted. I wasn't suggesting that he did in that conversation. It was a (crappy) example of rapport.

After you said my introduction, then you could go into what Francisco d'Anconia said, about if she's training for anything in particular. Sorted. Good luck.