conversation skills

[TheMale]

hey guys

need your opinion about that

for those who don't know yet i use to be a PUA and with all the technique and canned stuff i didn't need any convesation skills i just had to know some routine and i was doing great
but since i'm tryin to be natural and get rid of those 'PUA skills' i can't do anything !

here's some example:

a week ago i was in a bar with a friend my cousin and his gf
his gf bring 2 of her friends (girls) so we where there but i didn't know what to say or how to handle the conversation ... so i just talked to my friend and have a good time with him

same story happened last night we did a BBQ with some friends and then came from nowhere 2 girls one of them started the conversation with me but i didn't know what to say next it was like
she: 'hey what's your name'
me: 'the male and you ?'
she: 'emmy, where do you live ?'
me: 'XXX ,u ?'
she: 'YYY, you're not local so ... where do you from ?'

i answered this question and then a friend came to ask me a question so just got into a conversation with him and i ignored her ...

how can i work on it ?
or how can i improve myself on it ?
cause it's a real problem for me now ....

 

[IamJosan]

Try humor, and actually having genuine interest in other people.

 

[TheMale]

hey josan
i can do that ... only if ... we have a conversation going between some friends and there's actually a chick so yes i make her taking part of the conversation asking questions and using humor
i also doing that with my friends

but...

for the example if i wanna meet a girl
so i see her in the street/bar/coffee shop
me: 'hey i'm TheMale whats your name?/hey you look cute and i wanna know you'
she: 'blah blah blah'
and here's my problem i don't have any idea how to build a conversation
and i think that's what holding me back from actually approaching ....

anyone had/ve the same problem or maybe if someone knows how to deal with that let me know
i think it's my biggest problem and its kind of important for me !

thx guys

 

[ohnoes]

Go here http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/ then go down to Step 7 and read the articles on Conversation.

There is no magic bullet or foolproof plan. You will get rejected but you will also succeed if you don't give up. Be FEARLESS and practice practice practice.

 

[TheMale]

There is no magic bullet or foolproof plan. You will get rejected but you will also succeed if you don't give up. Be FEARLESS and practice practice practice.

yeah i know that its not new for me ... but the natural convo is !

thx man

 

[FairShake]

how can i work on it ?

Converse. Just talk. That's all.

One piece of advice I want to share that helped me. You may think everyone else is some kind of genius at conversation and that you have to be too. Stop. Don't think that. Most people are, well, average. And average conversation is what about 90% of all good conversations are. Don't think you need to keep someone laughing all the time or tell interesting stories interspersed with interesting facts. If you do you will either try too hard OR kick yourself when a conversation goes less than perfect.

The "Hello how are you?" conversation is a good start. Take a genuine interest in them and if they are worth your time they will take a genuine interest in you. It will roll on from there. And if it doesn't, oh well, you were pretty much just passing the time anyway.

 

[playergamehater]

I'd say for most guys, guys have to practice in order to get good with girls, but for girls they are born with the ability to get a guy from day one

 

[TheMale]

thx guys !

 

[Matthew Lyon]

hey guys

need your opinion about that

for those who don't know yet i use to be a PUA and with all the technique and canned stuff i didn't need any convesation skills i just had to know some routine and i was doing great
but since i'm tryin to be natural and get rid of those 'PUA skills' i can't do anything !

here's some example:

a week ago i was in a bar with a friend my cousin and his gf
his gf bring 2 of her friends (girls) so we where there but i didn't know what to say or how to handle the conversation ... so i just talked to my friend and have a good time with him

same story happened last night we did a BBQ with some friends and then came from nowhere 2 girls one of them started the conversation with me but i didn't know what to say next it was like
she: 'hey what's your name'
me: 'the male and you ?'
she: 'emmy, where do you live ?'
me: 'XXX ,u ?'
she: 'YYY, you're not local so ... where do you from ?'

i answered this question and then a friend came to ask me a question so just got into a conversation with him and i ignored her ...

how can i work on it ?
or how can i improve myself on it ?
cause it's a real problem for me now ....

The remedy is more simple than you think. Let's take a movie theatre as an example scenario:

You: "Haha. See that movie poster?" *pointing*
Her: "Yeah. What about it?"
You: "Look at Vin Diesel. He looks really tense, almost as if he's constipated and needs to take a huge dump. But I think the message he's trying to put out is that he's intimidating."
Her: "Haha, yeah it does look like that."

The idea is to make conversation about things in the present moment. Never try to think of things to say. Use what you already have. Also take not that 93% of communication with her and other people is not what's coming out of your mouth but how you carry yourself. You'll find this to be true as if you listen to your conversations you'll notice that most of them have very little to do with anything important whatsoever. Most of them are random.

 

[TheMale]

yeah i know that matthew
but you must say something you can't just comunicate with non verbal

lets go back a lil bit after the 'how you doin ?' you say that the transition can be a simple "see that movie poster ?' etc. ???