"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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conversation: making connections

MrNiceGuy

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OK, this is pretty obvious to some people I guess, but it only recently dawned on me how much of an indicator of IL what I'm going to talk about is.

Basically when you're chatting to a girl you've only just met, you tend to be asking each other alot of questions, trying to find stuff out about each other.. now.. when she answers my question (if I'm interested in her) I find myself taking in the information in the answer and seeing how it relates to me..

for example, I've met quite a few girls who told me they are studying psychology.. I did psychology A-level, so I usually mention that, say I've always found it really interesting blah blah.. etc. etc. basically if you're interested in someone else you make an effort to establish that you have things in common, (sometimes even if you don't) I'm not that interested in psychology but if the chick is, its what she wants to hear.. People are interested in people they feel they are similar to and have things in common with.. its obvious.

now, the other interesting thing I've noticed is, sometimes its obvious that either,
a) you're faking it, (e.g. from the way you're talking its clear you don't have a clue about her charity work and you've never rebuilt a school in africa) or...
b) you're a little too over enthusiastic ("Oh, really! what a conicdence! I like such and such too!!!!") Which acts as an indicator that you are interested in them.
I've been guilty of both and sometimes I think I try too hard to make a connection to me from everything they say.

The other important point is that girls (if they are interested) do exactly the same thing.. and they make the same mistakes.. if you spot them, you know they are trying hard to impress you.
e.g. I study maths at the moment so usually when I reveal that it goes down like a lead balloon, occasionally though I've had girls go ("Oh really!! I'm really interested in that..") and then spout off some other crap, when it seems like in reality they stopped thinking about the subject when they finished it in school.. but they all showed other signs of high IL, eg. lots of EC, asking questions about me.. etc.

Basically my points,

Try to make connections with her interests and things she says, places shes been etc.

Don't try too hard or make it obvious this is what you are doing.

Look out for her trying to do the same thing with you, it shows she's interested.
 

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