"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Conversation Lulls

gray_fox_9

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Hey fellow DJ's,
How do you guys keep the conversation going when there are lulls? Usually when the conversation starts dying I start into the interview questions(i.e. Where you from? What do you study in college, etc). What kind of things do you ask her to keep her engaged and for you to not seem boring?? Lately when the conversation gets boring I just eject and move on. Thanks in advance for helping me improve my game.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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kakashi

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you can talk about the most mundane things known to man as long as your passionate about it so will she.
 

Monkey

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Try going back over something shes mentioned and expand on it.
But don't be too afraid of spaces in conversations.
You'll actually find shes desperately trying to think of topics to bring up too. So just smile and relax.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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gray_fox_9 said:
Hey fellow DJ's,
How do you guys keep the conversation going when there are lulls? Usually when the conversation starts dying I start into the interview questions(i.e. Where you from? What do you study in college, etc). What kind of things do you ask her to keep her engaged and for you to not seem boring?? Lately when the conversation gets boring I just eject and move on. Thanks in advance for helping me improve my game.
Do you watch or listen to the mass media? They tend to provide new information on a daily basis on which to talk about, especially if you can provide personal insight to the topics.
 

gray_fox_9

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Do you watch or listen to the mass media? They tend to provide new information on a daily basis on which to talk about, especially if you can provide personal insight to the topics.
I keep up on national and local news daily but it seems like most girls are shallow and don't care whats going on unless it directly effects them.....Opinions?????
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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gray_fox_9 said:
I keep up on national and local news daily but it seems like most girls are shallow and don't care whats going on unless it directly effects them.....Opinions?????
Perhaps, but it's all about how you present it to them and engage with interactive questions. Just this morning I was talking to a group of women of varying ages about the recent shooting in Omaha, the effect of Walmart on society and Guitar Hero III, and all in the same conversation! Each woman was able to give insight on each one and I was able to toss c/f and flirt with each in turn. Consider yourself a conductor and women are your orchestra.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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remotecontrol said:
When a conversation with a woman im hitting on lulls I tend to start using my mouth for other purposes........
Beat boxing?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

intel123

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
\ Consider yourself a conductor and women are your orchestra.


can you please explain more on the fransico .. i dont get it lol

how does this work can u give examples thanks bro
 

Nexus Polaris

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It's already been said, but I agree that just being passionate about whatever you're talking about makes it sound interesting. Talk about anything. Just be excited about it.

Example:

I was out with some friends of mine a few weeks ago, and the talkative one left the table. So there was this big, long silence between myself and my other friend being that we are both generally reactors rather than conductors. So I said hell with it and started pulling out stories. Stories I had told a hundred times that had always been met with mediocre responses. But for some reason I was getting honest laughs and interest out of them this time. Then I realized what it was. The way I was telling the stories was a lot more enthusiastic than usual.


Usual story goes like this:

Yeah, back in spring break of my senior year of high school I decided to try to break my friend's record for most slices of pizza eaten at this restaurant. I got close but only ended up tying his record.

BORING!


Version I told that night:

Oh, man! Me and my friend Tony went to CiCi's the first weekend of spring break my senior year of high school, right? And I had always wanted to break my friend Tommy's record of 36 slices of pizza in one sitting. And I was determined to do it. So I crammed slice after slice down my throat until I got to 36, but I just couldn't stomach one more piece. And, dammit John, I tried! But it just wouldn't go down. Then I went home and flopped down on the couch and just laid there for 3 hours wailing, "Oh! Somebody kill me!" It was great.


Instant hit!
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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intel123 said:
can you please explain more on the fransico .. i dont get it lol

how does this work can u give examples thanks bro
Imagine how a conductor of an orchestra creates music without even playing an instrument; by direction. Yeah, the orchestra know the score but the conductor brings it all together by his gestures, cuing each section's tempo and volume to produce harmony.

A good conversationalist is a conductor, especially in a group. He doesn't even need to come up with all of the topics but he can definitely pose question to elicit responses from each individual.

Each individuals response creates fodder to keep the conversation going if you (the conductor) brings in the other individuals for their input. You're keeping the conversation going such like a juggler keeps several balls in the air.
 
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