Conversation: I get stuck after...

[silverwex]

Im really getting into approaching girls now, havent been too interested in this area in a while, and need a quick piece of advice.

So you're in a club/pub and you approach the girl/she comes to you after signalling for her to come over:

ME: Hey how are you?
HER: Im good.
ME: What's your name?
HER: Sarah
ME: So, you having a good night?
HER: Yeah, great

This is where I stumble, I dont wanna ask her what she does, where shes from etc... (boring)

Any ideas?

Im thinking of asking for opinions. e.g. Do you think this tiop makes me look gay? Its just my friend over there says it does but i want a female opinion?

No?

 

[Damian]

Try reading the DJ bible...this is pretty basic stuff...

-Damian

 

[silverwex]

I will (again!) lol, but in the meantime a few suggestions?

 

[Blackdragon5095]

Conversation works like this.

First you need to learn more body language. Your body language can make people not want to talk to you. Watch your tone of voice too.

70% of listening
30% of you talking or commenting

People like to talk about theirselfs and what they think. So it's pretty easy at that point but the hard part comes in making someone want to acutally talk. Many people fear you will call them stupid or say that dumb becuase of what they said.

Ask quesitons that require more then yes and no. Exmaple

Why you still mad ??
When did you hurt yourself ??
Whats your project about ??

Body language tips

Eye contact
Nod your head when someone is talking
don't look around when someone is talking because it rude and makes they want to stop talking because they think your not listening
Smile
eye contact

Look at current events
watch the news
Learn what that person is interested about:
Moives, Books, cars, future plans, foods, job, relationship, crazy stories, etc...

Avoid:
talking too much about yourself
talking bad about others
cutting people off in mid sentence
bad body language
poor listening skills
gossip


Some people may not be in the mood to talk. Again body language and if someone dosen't want to talk. MOVE ON !!!!!



Conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for competitors.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Conversation is an exercise of the mind; gossip is merely an exercise of the tongue.

Confidence contributes more to conversation than wit.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld


P.S. look on a search engine about conversation. The more you do the better you get at it. Their even books on conversation.
Remember you MUST MUST MUST LISTEN !!!

 

[green69]

Keep in mind, in the above conversation it didn't seem like she was interested at all. Notice all the one word answers. It's hard to have a nice conversation when it's obviously one sided.

I know all the 'DJ's' will say use open ended questions and stuff, which is great advice...but it doesn't make it any easier when the girl isn't really reciprocating much.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

True, again body language and womenese. If she not interested she really won't smile much and will be looking around for something more interesting. Gotta read the body language. Women can talk and talk until their heads fall off. Gotta becareful what questions your asking and talking about. Talking about sex first off is a nice way to get into the rejection zone. Some girls won't mind but others do. It's better to go the safe way because you don't know her style yet.

I'm learning about E.Q. = Emotional Intelligence
Being aware of a women emotional status would help. If she in a bad mood it would be good to not even apporach her. If she in a good mood or is happy then it would be good to apporach her. The emotions do affect people.

Bad emotions make people not really wanna talk and even make you want to say things you really don't mean. Good emotions make you be up to meeting some new people and even make you be up for talking and even laughing.

 

[silverwex]

Thanks guys

 

[DJ_in_making]

Have any of you guys that make these posts actually read the bible?????

 

[flexion_]

Open ended questions are key.

How are you tonight?
Whats going on tonight?
What do you think of this place?

Then just key in on the response and repeat.

 

[GropeDope]

Try to avoid using words such as these when you're just getting to know someone: sh!t, f*ck, a$$hole, b!tch, motherf*cker, dipsh!t, c*cksucker, c*m, c*nt, j!zz, p*ssy, c*ck, c*ntlicker, my balls, anal penetration and cornhole. There are always exceptions to every rule but generally you're not going to want them to know about your dirty immature mouth just yet unless you're using words like those in a joking manner.

Also you have to SERIOUSLY AVOID sounding and talking about any negative sh!t, sounding pessimistic, or like a little chump/loser. This is hard for a lot of people with low self esteem and low confidence...where looking down at everything and talking about depressing topics comes natural to them. You better hide that sh!t or you're just going to come across as not only a loser, but a whiny litttle b!tch.

If they're the one sounding all negative and sh!t, you have to try to reverse the playing field by lighting the mood. Be understanding for a minute or so but then shift them to happy happy joy joy crap. If your effort is futile, f*ck em. Next. Don't sit there and try to analyze their mental problems. You're no f*ckin shrink.